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Getting back with your ex

Getting back with your ex

Will my ex forget about me if I use the no contact?

ex forget me

When we’re in the pit of a breakup, the last thing we want to hear is that we have to go into strict No Contact, or Radio Silence in order to get our ex back. We can’t help but feel like ignoring our ex is counterintuitive. After all, how are they going to see how capable we are of changing if we aren’t in touch with one another? Will my ex forget about me if I use the no contact?

Believe it or not, this is likely the most commonly asked question I’m asked during one-on-one sessions with my clients, and I completely understand why. No Contact can be absolutely heart scorning and petrifying. It’s natural to sit and question “how to stay in my exs thoughts?” or “will my ex forget me in no contact?” If you’re reading this article right now, asking yourself those or similar questions – don’t worry, you aren’t alone. Many of us sit and pine as to how No Contact really works and more specifically, how is will work for us.

In order to calm your nerves about the idea of speaking to your ex less (or realistically, not very much at all) while also preparing you to use it to your benefit and consequently get your ex back, we’ll have to spend some time breaking down what it No Contact is, how it works and why it’s actually beneficial.

In this article, I will focus on why the no contact is necessary after a break up. More specifically, I will also describe the 3 ways to avoid your ex forgetting about you during no contact, and how to talk to an ex again after the no contact. I hope that reading this compilation of relationship information will help give you the peace of mind you deserve and needless to say, the peace of mind you will undoubtedly need in order to implement and maintain No Contact correctly. By the end of this article, you’ll have answered those treacherous questions I listed above:

Will my ex forget about me if I use the no contact?

How to stay in my ex thoughts?

Ideally, you’ll also have answered several more! Please note, that if by the end of the article, your questions relating to No Contact and its benefits and implementation tactics have been left unanswered, please comment in the section outlined below. Or, feel free to email Coach Adrian and I directly at the following email. We’d love to create additional material geared toward helping you feel that peace of mind you’re after.

Why the no contact is necessary after a break up

While, in reality, the complete list of benefits No Contact can bring are truly an article of their own.. as there are dozens of reasons with the no contact is necessary after a breakup; I’m going to use this article to discuss the top and most potent benefits people often ask about and relate best to.

To start, it’s going to make your ex miss you. Having your ex miss you is fundamental in the process of getting them back. Why? Well, it allows for the dust to settle, and over time, it will actually help them begin to dismiss the negative thoughts they previously felt. Particularly, the ones that led to the dreaded breakup. Remember, the day they broke up with you is not the day they decided – rather, it’s just the day that they followed through with it. With No Contact, those remaining feelings that fueled their decision can begin to be forgotten or find resolve.

When we miss someone, we can’t help but focus on the good. After all, that’s why we miss things, right? Because of the good the brought to us and the value that was added to our lives! Immediately after a break up, it may be easy for your ex to stay away from you, because they haven’t yet transitioned into what life will really be without you. This haven’t missed you yet. This can start with basic things : maybe having a person to watch their favorite show with or a person they used to call when they were frustrated. All of those things generate a sense of longing for the person who is no longer there.

It’s for reasons and moments like the ones I’ve listed in the previous paragraph that the end goal of our ex missing us is the number one reason why the no contact rule after a break up works wonders. In addition to them missing us, they’ll also be forced to reflect on how much their lives have dramatically changed without us in it. It may not happen overnight, but it’ll certainly happen. After the thousands of people that we’ve all coached collectively, this has been something they’ve all mostly shared! It’ the perfect way to attract your ex.

A lot of you may be thinking, but what if they realize that their live is better now? While I understand this concern, please note that it’ll take way longer than 1 month or so of no contact (especially for longer term relationships or marriages) for them to make that realization if they are indeed able to make that realization. Remember, you’re a habit, and habits are hard to break! Most habits are pretty painful to let go of. The same way you feel as though you’re withdrawing from your ex, is the same way they feel as though they are withdrawing from you. They’re used to your scent, voice, shared plans and lifestyle choices and perspectives.

I understand that right now you may feel totally forgettable. You may be asking yourself, “will my ex really be missing my scent like Coach Natalie is saying?” However, I want you to take a minute to think about where this self doubt is coming from. Is it from your heart or is it from your ego?

Our egos can sometimes find pleasure in making us doubt ourselves. This may be the same little voice that says, “you can be skinnier, richer, more socially networked.” Be mindful of this voice, because it’s going to be important for you to silence it now. Do NOT let your ego get in the way of your progress. Your relationship with yourself must be at an all time high in order for you to be able to get your ex back. Imagine this: if you are a clock, your ego is that lose pesky little screw that can jam all the gears. If you give that screw enough time to rust, it’ll be ten times harder to extract it and get those gears going again! Make sure to keep that screw from getting stuck in your gears of progress and personal development!

A third reason why the no contact rule after a breakup is amazing is because, while your ex is home pondering about you and how different their life is, you’re finding ways to learn how to get over a break up. This reason is critical for you right now, as this period will allow for you to regain a sense of self. It’s very normal to feel very out of your skin during a breakup. You may not recognize yourself or what your self interests even are anymore.

Here’s why:

More often than not, when we give a relationship our “all” (which we often tend to do, because we love them!!), we end up sacrificing a lot. Then, when the breakup occurs, we don’t recognize who we are anymore, because over time, we began identifying ourselves in the eyes and hearts of our ex’s. As previously noted, we really may feel like foreigners in our own skins, and this is what can make the breakup so painful. Not only do we feel like we broke up with our ex’s, but we also somehow feel like we’ve broken up with ourselves! It can really feel like a double whammy!

However, during no contact, we have the opportunity to target the holes in our hearts and identifies, and fix them. Not only is the fundamental for you, but it’s also really important when it comes to your readiness and ability to be a great partner to your ex. As Coach Adrian and I have mentioned in several articles, it’s the personal development element of the breakup that is truly most important.

Let’s take a moment and go back in time: Remember when your ex met you? You were strong, you were mysterious, you were excited by the world around you and in turn really exciting to be around. This is the person that your ex remembers! Then, over the course of the relationship, you changed. Maybe you stopped doing the things you used to do in order to spend more time with your partner, or maybe you adopted new habits that you previously hadn’t considered because they were things that your ex enjoyed. Regardless of what you may have sacrificed or adopted, your ex doesn’t recognize you as the person that they met. Therefore, it became easier for them to exit the relationship. It’s much easier to walk away from a stranger than from the love of our lives, right? Consequently, In this circumstance, we then need to regain this sense of self to then re-attract our ex and rebuild the relationship.

In addition to letting our rediscovered sense of self and confidence attract our ex, it will also allow for us to feel good about ourselves, and this strength can prepare us to reach out to our ex’s and to handle whatever is on the other side of that outreach. For many who haven’t successfully regained their confidence and peace of mind, reaching out can make them feel the breakup all over again, as though it’s just happened. This can trigger another emotional collapse, and you’ll have to do the rebuilding process all over again. It can be very painful, and so I can’t stress enough the importance of personal development and self awareness.

Will my ex forget about me if I use the no contact : 3 ways to avoid that

Just because we aren’t speaking to our exs, doesn’t mean we can’t find ways to prevent our ex’s from not thinking about us. This is where the No Contact can actually be a little bit of fun! Remember, just because they aren’t reaching out, doesn’t mean they aren’t checking in. You may be constantly checking in on your ex, too, right? You two are habits for one another, remember? Your ex wants to see what you’re doing with all this free time you’ve gained. They’re also likely to be very curious as to who you’re spending new time with. I cant stress it enough: you aren’t the only one in the breakup wondering what the ex is doing. They’re also wondering the same things are you are.

Tip #1:

A great way to stay in the mind of your ex (and to help you stay there) is social media. Make sure to keep your social media updates to show your ex you are a better person and are continuing to live a fruitful life full of new activities.

Tip #2:

this is where my previous suggestion to try new things comes into play. If you only post things pertaining to your previous lifestyle, then your ex won’t be as intrigued to continue to check in. By staying the same, your ex will only re-affirm that you still aren’t the person you can invest in long-term. So, the more new things you do, the more your ex will see your changes and the more their curiosity will heighten.

Tip #3:

Lastly, always feel free to let social media serve to show how great you’re looking. While, in the movies, it’s normal for the broken hearted person to be pictured collapsed on the floor of their living rooms with a pint of ice cream and an avalanche of Kleenex, it’s important not to stay in this mode for too long. We don’t want ice cream, we want crunches! We want to show our ex’s that we look better than ever. This will remind them of your sexual connection and this is also very important. The sensual relationships we have with our partners can be very powerful elements to tap into during a breakup. This isn’t mean to insinuate that you should be sleeping with your ex, necessarily, but it should mean that they can still find you attractive.

Note: If you find it really hard to snap out of grieving, I would encourage you limiting yourself to 15 minutes of wallowing a day. That way, you get to satiate that need, without letting it dominate you. Believe it or not, this can really help. However, once those 15 minutes are up, you need to snap out of it and continue on your personal development journey!

Outside of the gym or whatever exercise or health/wellness routine you select, I think a really immediate way to show your ex how great you look is by wearing an item of clothing that they haven’t previously seen before. The change can be subtle and won’t require you investing in a new wardrobe. However, a new blouse or belt buckle, or a new hairstyle can immediately show your ex that you’re evolving and changing as a person and as a partner.

How to talk to an ex again after the no contact

When the No Contact element of the breakup is coming to an end, it’s normal to question how you’re going to go about reaching out to your ex when the time is right. I understand that it can be really nerve wrecking. However, we’ve come up with an almost fool proof plan when its to comes to this initial outreach. It’s the accountability letter approach. Never, ever underestimate the power of a great letter.

If you were previously wondering “will my ex forget about me if I don’t talk?” Well, not if you write a good letter! In a letter, you’ll have the opportunity to take accountability for the ways you contributed to dismantling the relationship. More specifically, you’ll have the chance to really list why things went wrong and how you’ve been able to correct these behaviors during no contact. If you write this letter correctly, your partner will be receptive and this can break the silence is a very positive way.

TIP ** If you feel like you aren’t a natural writer or like you aren’t sure how to go about writing the letter, it’s ok, we’re here to help. We have a product on our website, with my ex again, geared toward this exact process. We encourage you to take a look at it (it also includes samples!) and give it your best shot. If you’d like for us to revise and correct it, we can certainly arrange for that, too. In fact, we’ve helped several hundreds of people write these letters and send them.

One of the biggest mistakes we see in writing the accountability letter lends toward you consciously (or sometimes more ambiguously) asking for your partner back. Therefore, I really want to take a moment to clarify that THIS IS NOT A LOVE LETTER. This letter is not aimed at rekindling. Rather, it is aimed at repairing the ways in which your ex may perceive you or the breakup or the relationship in general. If your ex gets the impression that the goal behind this letter is to rekindle, they may in turn believe that all the changes you’ve claimed to have made are only plows to get your ex back, and therefore aren’t true changes. If this happens, all the work we’ve done is seen as a performance, rather than as permanent modifications. Therefore, beware of this! Make sure not to ask for your ex back in the letter!

Now, another huge mistake that comes with writing the letter is expecting to receive an immediate response. It it very natural to want an immediate turnaround. After all, you really just put yourself out there for the first time in a while. It’s scary! However, remember, your ex is also overwhelmed by having received the letter. They may need to take some time to process their thoughts and emotions before generating a response.

If you feel like you’re in the bunch who doesn’t receive an instant outreach from your ex after the letter, I insist that you do not try to reach out again, even if it’s to see if they’ve gotten it. If you do this, your ex will likely believe that you haven’t moved on and that if they’re responsive, the emotional floodgates will open and you’ll start writing them non-stop. Therefore, I invite you to really be patient right now. In these moments, I want you to reflect on how strong you were during No Contact, and let that strength carry you during this period. In extreme cases, where your ex doesn’t reply, I invite you to book a session with me so we can determine where the disconnect happened. These are very often correctable with enough notice of the situation.

Ultimately, I really encourage you no to worry about whether your ex will forget about you and the relationship during no contact. Using the tips I’ve outlined in this article and by understanding why No Contact can be tremendously beneficial, you should be in great shape to implement and manage with peace of mind.

I believe that you can do this, and I believe in the true potential of your success and ability to turn around your relationship and get back with your ex and person that you love and admire more. Using the information in this article, Alex, Adrian and I over at WMEA have helped hundreds of people get back with their exs.

If you have any questions about our methodologies and how they operate, or if you feel that due to a unique situation you are unable to implement the above strategy, please leave a comment in the field below. Our team is here to help support you throughout the entirety of this process. You don’t have to walk it alone.

I look forward to connecting with you.

Wishing you the very best,

Coach N.

 

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Getting back with your ex

Spy on ex : the best 8 ways! (and 4 bonus tips)

spying on ex

When you’re in a position where you’ve recently split from your partner, sometimes you can’t help but want to spy after the breakup on your ex. It’s a normal attempt this. After all, the curiosity can really be a killer! Now that the breakup has occurred and your ex has a bit more time and freedom than they previously did, and it’s natural for you to be curious about how they’re using this new lifestyle. You may be asking yourself, “how do I spy on my ex without getting caught?” (of course!).

Because of our natural desires of peer into our ex’s lives post breakup, I wanted to take some time to write and address the types of ways someone can spy on their ex  healthily (without crossing boundaries, making them uncomfortable, or make them more distant with you than ever!!) and also, why in many circumstances, spying on your ex may actually be the opposite of what you want to do. Remember, just because it feels good and gives you a (false) sense of control, doesn’t mean it’s necessarily a good idea. However, more on this later! For now, let’s get right to spying.

How to spy on ex ?

If you’re trying to find ways on how to spy on girlfriend after the end of the relationship: here are a few tips that can help, without you being written off as a creep.

How to spy on girlfriend after the end of the relationship

  1. If you have kids together: Children are an excellent way to peep into your partners life. You’ll be able to see how they’re doing without having to ask them directly, and you’ll be able to see how their demeanors after spending time with her. This can be positive because it can shed some insight on how she’s feeling, and how she may be presenting her emotions to her children. Similarly, you’ll also be able to showcase all the changes you’ve made to your ex through your children, if you two have kids together. Make sure to set up fun and exciting activities to do with them, as they’ll send that information back to Mom when they see her next.
  1. Mutual Friends: If you don’t have kids, then mutual friends can be excellent and organic ways to tap into how your ex girlfriend is doing. It’s important to realize that many people in your immediate network have very close ties to her and may know more about how she’s really taking the breakup than her own parents or siblings! However, make sure that you aren’t the one asking about the breakup or venting about the breakup. The information must be handed to you. For instance, if your friend says “oh, I saw your ex the other day, she didn’t look too great”, you can ask something to the effect of, “why?” or “how could you tell?”. If you receive the info in this style, it’s unlikely that they’ll go back to your ex with the insight that you still want to get back together or know how they’re doing. Remember, spying is all about not being caught! If your mutual friends do not hand off this information willingly, then it’s important that you don’t pry. If they do not bring up your ex, you can’t either. I know that many of you reading this are thinking, “of course I’m going to ask about my ex”. However, trust me, if you want to reduce the damage done, you’ll avoid this. It’s truly in your best interest.
  1. If you work together: If you work together, spying is a cake walk. You’ll have almost daily access to them! It’s a no brainer! However, the way in which you spy here will be very important. If you’re both in the same place, your ex is likely to detect your spying much more easily. Be mindful of this, because if you get caught, then she knows you still want her, and then she has all the control. That’s never what we want. Rather, try to be subtle about it. Try overhearing her conversations, while never interrupting them. When you walk past her cubicle, check into how her face looks. However, make sure not to find excuses to walk by all the time. If she finds you increasing your chances of seeing her, she’ll also believe that she’s the motive and therefore, that she gets to control the tempo of rekindling the relationship.
  1. Social Media: If you’re trying to spy on girlfriend, social media can be a really natural and healthy way to peek into her life without being invasive or violating their privacy. Common social media platforms to achieve this can be: FaceBook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat. The beauty of social media is that you can see her life, but also that she can see yours. Allow for her to also tune into how you’re doing! If you showcase your personal development, she’ll begin to see the changes she needed to see before you two even speak. This can be very advantageous! If she’s blocked you on all social media, which does happen when relationships and/or breakups get messy – then I invite you to take a look at our product, How To Get Your Ex Back When Blocked on Social Media, as it can help you get the “unblock” you’re looking for.

Spying on boyfriend when he leaves you

As previously mentioned, when it comes to how to spy on an ex, getting caught is the absolutely worst. If your focus is spying on boyfriend, here are a few tips that can help:

  1. Kids : Like I mentioned in the section above, children are likely the best way to spy on your ex. With children, you’ll be able to check in on your ex boyfriend without the potential of being accused on prying. Rather, it’s essentially part of parenting to make sure the other partner looking after the children is in good spirits and emotionally aware of their actions. Similarly, remember, they may also be using the same method to track you! Make sure you’re setting up fun, new and exciting things to do, so that they can tell your ex that you’re A-OK!
  1. Social networking : For many, an ex boyfriend may have a social routine. Maybe they have a weekly sports league, bar hop, boys night. There’s so many ways for them to be out and wandering. This may be a great opportunity for you to drop by casually (and when you’re strong enough to handle it!). If you two are in college, for instance, there may be a cluster of local bars he often visits, and you can pop by with your friends. Remember, if you encounter your ex in person, make sure not to be forceful of their attention or time. It’s important for him to note that you’re understanding of the fact that you two aren’t together and that you’re capable of control your emotions.
  1. Working together: If the two of you work together, you are going to have an easy time spying on your ex boyfriend. However, something that’s so available and accessible can often generate a greater margin of error – so be careful! If you’re spying on an ex at work, make sure to do it from a distance. It’s likely that you’ll hear their conversations, and see their movements. Try, rather than interrupting the conversation or making your efforts obvious, to read your ex’s body language and overall demeanor. If you feel you aren’t qualified to assess his behaviors without engaging, then I invite you to reach out to us. We can help you identify how he’s feeling without putting yourself in harms way. Remember, the point of spying on your ex is to avoid them tracing your efforts back to you. Please always be mindful of this!
  1. Social Media: As mentioned in the previous section, social media can also be an excellent way of spying on an ex. However, make sure not to overdo it! Don’t open their snap stories just as they’ve posted it. Make sure that they question how busy and available you are. If you’re constantly checking – they may question whether or not you’ve moved on!

Spy on girlfriends phone or boyfriends phone after a breakup

Before I dive into some other reasons why and how spying can work against you, I wanted to dedicate a brief portion to this article on the people who actively spy on girlfriends phone or boyfriends phone after a breakup.

Many of you reading this article have access to your ex’s passwords. You may share a phone plan, have their AppleID, or gmail login information, sometimes even share bank accounts. If you are reading this article and have access to any of the items of networks I’ve just listed, then it’s going to be very important for you to delete all of that information. It’s so critical for you not to invade your ex’s privacy. A few reasons for this are listed below:

  1. Spying on your ex in this way is disrespectful and uninvited. If you don’t respect your ex, then you’ll likely continue to mistreat your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend again in the future. If you really want them back for the long-term, then respect will be essential to you. If you violate it during the breakup period, then you’re likely to continue violating it when the rekindling process commences and/or materializes.
  1. If your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend catches you going through their messages, then your chances of getting your ex back becomes much, much lower. They will feel like you’ve validated the reasons why they left, and will likely further believe that you’re incapable of change and are still not able to give them the life that they want to live and that partnership they want to have.

Now that we’ve covered why violating their privacy is a terrible idea, here are a few reasons by the basic element of spying may actually hurt really you.

The first reason largely deals with getting caught : if they find out you’re spying, you may really be putting no contact in jeopardy. If your ex receives notice that you’re looking in on their lives, they will feel empowered. They’ll be happy that you care enough to see what they’re up to, and are likely to interpret this knowledge as them being the ones in control of the breakup. Now, they’ve confirmed that they’re still desired by you, and this can make No Contact much less impactful and in turn make it much easier for them to stay away from you.

It can really hinder your personal development. It’s important to recognize that you shouldn’t be spying on your ex until you’re ready to handle it. If seeing your ex sends you into a downward spiral of self down and depression, where you ask yourself “what are they thinking,” and “do I still have a chance?”, then it’s just too soon to spy. I say this because, if you find content that makes you unhappy in any way, it can directly affect your confidence. Confidence is something that is so critical in the re-attraction process, and without it, your likelihood of succeeding tremendously lowers. Remember, your ex will be more attracted to your strengths and not your weaknesses. If tapping into their lives only sets your life back, then is it really worth it?

It’s completely normal to want to spy on your ex. Many of us feel as lost and panicky as you are likely feeling right now. However, just make sure that spying is safe, not violating of their privacy, and equally not violating your progress or self esteem. If spying on your girlfriend or spying on your boyfriend jeopardizes your personal development and growth, than spying isn’t the right move.

If you are wondering if the tips I’ve listed above will work for you, I invite you to contact us by the coaching page.

The more we learn about you, the more we can help, and the more we can support you on your quest of trying to get back with your ex.

 

Coach Nat

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Getting back with your ex

How to talk to your ex again : the secrets for a perfect conversation !

talking to your ex

There are many elements to consider when it comes to turning a breakup around. From the moments immediately after a breakup, to how to implement no contact, to how to reconnect with our ex’s to showcase all the changes we’ve made since the split, we must always be aware of our actions and the choices that we’re making (and just as importantly, HOW we’re going about making them).

Two of the more popular topics I discuss in one on one sessions with my clients is how to get your ex to talk to you again and how to talk to your ex again. Therefore, I wanted to take some time to write a brief article addressing these two topics, for those of you who are interested in self-coaching tools.

This section is particularly addressed to those currently in no contact. Ideally, a decent amount of time has passed since your last interaction (approximately 25-45 days) and you’re feeling good. Since the breakup, you’ve been intensely focussing on personal development and in implementing healthier behaviors to prevent similar issues from your ex from occurring again. If you’ve achieved all of the things I’ve just listed, then it’s time to reach out.

* Note: if you feel you haven’t achieved the above yet, I encourage you to continue reading the article beyond this section, so I delve into ways to expedite this process to get your ready to talk to your ex!

Talking to an ex and have a good conversation

When it comes to how to get your ex to talk to your ex again, it’s all about being up-lifting. Remember, for many of you, the breakup wasn’t the most picture perfect and amicable experience we’ve seen depicted in films. For many most, we beg, plea, text dozens of times, and maybe call a bunch, too. Therefore, when you reach out and go straight into the “let’s discuss the breakup” talk, you’re setting yourself up to be perceived as still in distress. At this stage, the last thing we want when talking to an ex is to be viewed in this way, as we want them to be excited to keep hearing from us, rather than view us as another source of stress in their likely already hectic lives.

Thus, if you want to know how to get your ex to talk to you again, the lighter route will yield a more receptive response than the dense route. Of course, you’ll have to speak about the breakup eventually – but why rush it? Why go straight into the uncomfortable part? Rather, first remind your ex that you are fundamentally compatible and get along. It can be a casual “hey, I just tried this new restaurant and I felt you’d love. The name is “ “, I encourage you to try it”, or maybe mention a museum that just opened in their area or one that is featuring a cool exposition.

The additional beauty of these lighter sorts of approaches is that your ex won’t automatically feel as though your motive for reaching out is just to get them back. This is positive because then you continue to hang onto a sense of power, rather than letting them control the tempo of this new relationship.

If the breakup was a painful and was triggered to deep-rooted issues, than an accountability letter may be a positive way in regard to how to get your ex to talk to your again. In this letter, you point out the ways in which the breakup has helped you learn about yourself. If you’re looking for samples of this approach, I invite you to visit our product page and take a look at the “How to Write the Perfect Letter” item. This can offer an abundance of insight for you. If you feel you’ve already written a pretty great letter but want it to be reviewed prior to sending, please feel free to leave a comment under this article. I’d love to schedule a session to work with you.

Talk to your ex : why is it important !

Now that you’re “in” with your ex in terms of having opened the door to dialogue and/or general communication, it’s going to be important to know how to talk to your ex again.

When it comes to talking to an ex, it’s important to express this newfound sense of confidence that you had the chance to regain during the breakup. Don’t let them feel like you’re hanging on their every word and that your life just hasn’t been complete with out them. I actually want you to exert the opposite type of energy when talking to an ex!

I want them to wonder how much you still want to rekindle with them, and this will make them much more receptive to your outreach and also make them significantly more likely to reach out to you! Try showcasing the confidence even during your first meeting. Make sure to emphasize how life has been treating you well in terms of work, recreational activities and your social life. Remember, people like to date people who live exciting lives. Make sure to illustrate that yours is!

TIP : Showing them that you’ve chanced can also be visual. So, outside of just knowing how to talk to your ex, try wearing something they’ve never seen, or try a new hairstyle. This immediately lets your ex know that time and space and come in between you and that they will need to relearn who it is that you are.

Outside of showcasing how much you’ve changed, it’s also important not to jump right into the breakup when having a discussion with your ex. If you bring up the breakup, it shows that you haven’t moved on and therefore, it’ll be really challenging for you to rebuilding a truly new and strong relationship.

When to start talking to an ex

Many of you reading this article may not be sure if you’re ready to start talking to an ex, and I commend you for questioning yourself on this. It shows a lot of strength to refrain from reaching out and identifying that you may not be emotional or psychologically prepared to open the door to dialogue.

Talking to an ex can be scary. It’s natural to be nervous of messing up or looking/being perceived as anything less than sub-par. This fear in itself can be crippling and so, if you really feel like you’re not ready, then you’re not ready! I would much rather you extend no contact than break it and generate a bad outcome. Don’t rush it! After all, when considering getting back with an ex, what’s a few months (or even a year!) apart relative to a lifetime of happiness, love and respect? Not very much.

If you’re trying to assess if you’re ready, it may mean you haven’t succeeded in getting over the breakup, and getting back with an ex is really dependent on this fact. You must be ok with the chance of not getting them back in order to actually achieve your goal of getting them back. Does this sound counterintuitive? For many, it does. However, what I mean by this is : Getting over a break up means returning to yourself and having a strong sense of self. It’s in this strong sense of self that gives you the confidence to handle interacting with them. So, get over the breakup so you can get the confidence needed to get back with your ex!

All the while, the no contact to an ex has started to rebuild their perception of you. Since you’ve been gone, your ex is already beginning to assume you’ve moved on and so, they no longer have the upper hand in the relationship anymore. This is advantageous for you because we need all the power that we can get!

Your absence will make them wonder where you are, what you’re doing, and who you’re doing it with. This is what makes them likely to be receptive to your outreach. They’re almost be surprised when you decide to reach back out, and all of a sudden, they’re the ones with the butterflies!

How to talk to your ex again

In that first message to an ex, make sure to refer to some of the tips I mentioned toward the beginning of this article. In addition, seek out some samples from our website. We have a pretty high success rate in getting positive responses from our ex’s.

For some, texting or basic messaging may not be the approach that it best suited for your relationship with your ex. In this case, an email or phone call may be better. If you’re opting to call an ex for your first outreach, make sure to spend time practicing it before you dial their number. I want you to be really self assured, and so you’ll need to have a thorough idea of what to say.

During the call to an ex, make sure to keep it light hearted and try to embed some comedy. Laughing is such a symbol of love and compatibility.

Here are a few don’ts and do’s to guide you on that first meeting:

Mistakes not to do with an ex during the first call:

  1. Don’t mention the breakup. As previously mentioned in this article, mentioning the breakup only illustrates that you’re still really affected by the past and by the past relationship with your ex. It can show, almost immediately, that you haven’t moved on. If the breakup was mean or aggressive, bringing up the breakup may only make the interaction negative. For many couples who do this, they end up going right back into a screaming death match. Therefore, this approach is really not recommended. If you feel as though your situation is unique and could really benefit from breakup conversation, then I invite you to reach out to me. Let’s determine the plan of action that’s best for you.
  2. Don’t mentioned that you’ve been sad or depressed. Remember, you need to showcase that you’ve been doing really well! If they ask you how you’ve been and you reply with “down in the dumps”, they’ll get the immediate sense that you haven’t truly moved on and in the blink of an eye, they’ve gotten all the power. Once they feel this, the rest of your conversation will be an uphill battle. Trust me on this!
  3. Don’t mention their new partners. For many of you, there may not be a new partner, and so this rule doesn’t necessarily apply to you. However, for a large percentage, your ex may be seeing someone, and so this is a mistake not to do or make with an ex. If you mentioned this new person, you’ll only further validate the reality of their relationship and therefore make their bond as significant as what you two had. Due to this, it’s important to not bring them up at all. I know this may be really, really hard to do! I get it, you’re curious! But, it’ll likely backfire and then the first outreach wouldn’t have gone as well as what it is you wanted.
  4. Don’t go straight into asking them to hang out. If you haven’t seen or spoken to your partner in a while (which should be the case, if you’ve been in a correctly implemented “Radio Silence”), then make sure to ease into the next step of the outreach. If you rush too quickly into it, it may scare them and then, instantly, their guard can go up. If their guard goes up, then it won’t even matter what you say next – they won’t hear it anymore. It’s important to take this really easy, as to help them stay receptive and openminded.

 

What to talk about with an ex

  1. Your evolution. Imagine – it’s been a while since you’ve spoken or seen each other and now it’s your time to reconnect. Let them see all the hard work you’ve been doing in their absence to better yourself! If you’ve picked up yoga, or changed jobs (and are happier in this new one) or moved out of your old apartment, don’t be afraid to show your ex that you’ve changed and grown since your last interaction. Not only will this make them curious and attracted, but it can also serve as a healthy and positive reminder that time and space has been implemented since the breakup. If they feel this, they can subconsciously see the opportunity of a newer and stronger future.
  2. Their current situation and lifestyle. Don’t be afraid to ask your ex how their doing. In fact, I would encourage you to spend 50% + on this, as it’s important for you to also determine if your ex is still the person you want to do. In many instances, my clients have been tremendous amounts of change and have truly focussed on their personal development. Then, during the first encounter, they hear that their ex’s haven’t done very much at all. Remember, it’s not just about them getting back with you – but it’s you getting back with them! Make sure they’re worth it!
  3. If you’ve registered for a 5k next month, or have delved into a new activity, don’t be afraid to showcase this to your ex. This is critical in how to talk to your ex again. Let them know that you’re able to think longterm and interest in things that excite and surprise you. This will likely also excite and surprise them. Maybe they’d even want to join!

During your first encounter, I encourage you to avoid spending too much time with them. I believe that one and a half hours is a decent amount of time for a first meeting. The reason this is so important is because we want to leave our ex’s wanting more. If, on the first meeting since the breakup, you spend six hours together, what will you have left to talk about afterwards? It’s critical that they continue to wonder about what you’ve been up to and how you’re going about your daily routine and business. If you leave just when the groove is coming back into your conversation, they’ll be left longing for your continued company. In many cases, this will prompt them to reach out to you expressing how much they enjoyed the catch up. This move is fundamental in how to attract an ex and how to get your ex to talk to you again.

How to get your ex to talk to you agai

As previously mentioned in the section above, leaving while they’re still interested in interacting can really assist in getting them to reach out. If you feel as though exiting will be challenging (which is totally normal, it’s been a long time since you’ve seen them!), then try setting an appointment that you won’t want to get out of. For instance, maybe try scheduling a session to go pamper yourself for after the meeting. This may be an excellent want to end the encounter and continue on this path of self love and personal development.

If after the first encounter, they don’t reach out. Make sure not to panic. This can happen when trying to get your ex to talk to you again. In these cases, I encourage for you to dip back into no contact. However, this new segment shouldn’t be more than a week or two. Let it be just enough time that they feel as though you’re no longer in constant need of them but also soon enough in time that they can reflect on the positive previous encounter you’ve recently had.

If you do reach out, make sure it’s purpose driven. What I mean by this is, make sure it’s something related to what you’ve recently spoken about. Maybe you mentioned an art piece you liked hanging in the cafe where you two spoke, and you’ve found a link to their online gallery. Or, maybe they loved what they ordered and you have “stumbled” upon a place with excellent reviews that also serves the same dish. If you make your outreach purpose oriented, then they won’t feel threatened or like you’re overdoing communication.

If you need tips on how to keep the conversations going, I ask that you reach out to me or to my partner, Coach Adrian. We help hundreds of people monthly navigate through these same waters of communication and we’d really love to help you, too.

For a lot of us, re-opening the door on how to talk to an ex can be really tough and we can use all the support we can get. Don’t be afraid to ask for help; it’s what we’re here for!

If you feel like your situation is unique and doesn’t apply to the above tips and guidelines, please let me know by leaving a comment in the section below. Please include when you guys met, when you broke up and how the breakup went; and for more in depth advice, try booking a session.

Additionally, if you applied these tips and guidelines to now you’re talking to your ex again, feel free to also leave us your success story below! Please include what tips worked best for you and which didn’t. We’d love to hear about your experience! Helping you learn how to talk to your ex and how to get your ex to talk to you again is one of the things we love doing most in our line of business, so please don’t be shy in filling us in!

Regardless of the need, we’re here to support you and stand by your side. Together, we will develop the right plan for you, tailored to help you get back with the person you love most.

I look forward to communicating with you and to hearing about your current situation.

 

Wishing you the very best always,

Coach N.

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Getting back with your ex

The no contact Rule : How to make it perfectly with your ex !

no contact

The concept that most of our methodologies surround and stem from is the no contact rule. The no contact rule is designed to help you get back with your ex by separating the two of you for long enough that your ex has the opportunity to question whether or not being without you is the right choice.

For many of you, the no contact rule may seem counterintuitive. You may be asking yourself, “well, if I’m not speaking to my ex, how will I get them back?” or “won’t my ex move on if we aren’t speaking?” Ironically, the answers to these questions are the exact opposite of what you’re thinking.

By taking a step away from the relationship and your ex, they’ll be able to realize what life is really going to be like without you. It’s really easy to feel as though a breakup in necessary, but it’s quite hard to get used to once the reality of the situation has kicked in.

If you’re asking yourself, “why is this technique so effective?” Well, to put it simply, no contact will give your ex the opportunity to really miss you. The reason for this is because, toward the end of the relationship, your ex (or maybe both of you) felt tensions and distress. During the no contact, those negative ideas and feelings will have time to subside, leaving the positive and romantic feelings to flourish and remind the thinker of all the value they got from and out of the relationship. It’s rather strange, but, people tend to generally remember the good over the bad when reflecting on their previous partners.

How long is the no contact rule after a break up

The most frequently asked question I receive around no contact is, “how long is the no contact rule after a break up?” This is an excellent question. After all, you’re putting yourself through hell trying to avoid reaching out to your ex during no contact, right? It’s natural to wonder, “when will this end?”

Frustratingly enough, though, there is no specific answer to when to end no contact. Many websites out there may say “30 days”, “45 days”, “60 days”, but I disagree with these more ‘set-in-stone’ type answers. Why? Well, I feel each and every relationship is unique and so the ways to go about reviving them must also be unique. We can’t necessarily compare a relationship of six months between college students to a 25 year marriage with four kids. This is not to say that one relationship is more important that the other, but each and every relationship deserves it’s own tailored game plan.

This reason is why I emphasize committing to one-on-one coaching with Adrian and I over any other medium. By knowing the intricacies of your relationship, we’ll be able to create a style of no contact that’s applicable to you and can serve to maximize your chances at turning your relationship around.

The no contact rule : a way to feel better after a breakup

Here’s another really important fact about the no contact rule: breaking contact with an ex is as much (if not more) about you than it is about them. During the end of a relationship and throughout the breakup, it’s normal that you feel sad, down, ill spirited, and without confidence. Considering this, it’s critical to recognize that you’re not in the condition to be able to get back with your ex! You need distance to feel better and get over a break up before go back to your ex, as this is the only way to position the relationship to have long-term potential.

By committing to no contact, you avoid mistakes – especially ones associated with begging and pleading for them and their attention back (if you’re already done this, it’s OK, there’s still time to turn it around!). For the first time since the breakup, you’ll really be able to take some time in isolation to think about your mistakes and all the ways you may have contributed to the dismantling of the relationship.

A perk I often tell my clients about no contact rule is that, not only will you have the ability to reflect on your relationship and what went wrong, but you’ll be able to do so without being under a microscope. It’s such a blessing that you’ll be able to undergo this extreme and incredible sense of self realization and transformation without the pressures of someone (especially your most important someone) watching you going through it. Imagine if you had to do all of these things and your ex was able to get glimpses of these changes – it could be embarrassing or unattractive or just plain weird. Be thankful you get to do all of this while on your own! Phew! Let this give you some peace of mind!

Rules of no contact : 5 things you have to do to use this technique

Now, while I previously stated in this article that the no contact rule is relative to each and every couple in terms of when it ends, I must also mention that there are also basic rules to how it works. So, if you’re currently wondering how to go about implementing and maintaining no contact, this section of the article is the one for you.

The rules to the no contact rule after a breakup are as follows:

1/ Don’t stay alone, especially toward the beginning of the no contact rule. You’re already feeling lonely due to the breakup itself and so the last thing you’ll need is complete and total isolation. I encourage you to go to movies with friends, or, if you have work to do at home, try doing it in a public place like a library. Just having people around and nearby can really help you now!

2/ For many of you, social media is a fundamental part of life. During no contact, however, it’ll be really important to avoid social media if you spy on your ex with it. Watching your e will only make it more challenging to incorporate no contact and needless to say, just the visual reminders of them and their activity online (and what it says about their activity in person) may drive you insane. It’s not worth the stress, I promise you.

3/ Rule number three: Exercising can be good during no contact. Exercise is one of the best ways to make yourself feel great. Not only will you physically look better, but it also releases endorphins that can silence thoughts and feelings often associated with depression. To put it simply, exercise can serve as therapy for your head, body and heart.

4/ One of the most important rules of the list is making sure you try a new activity every week for 6 weeks. I know this may seem frustrating and the last thing you want to do, but this rule may make the most difference. Most specifically, it gives you the opportunity to show your ex you’re capable of change AND that even during a breakup, nothing can bring you down. This can let your ex know that you’re capable of producing your own happiness and that you aren’t reliant on them for a great quality of life and a fun out-of-routine routine.

5/ The final rule and likely the most important is to work on your self confidence. You may feel like gaining any sort of confidence right now is nearly impossible, however, it’s actually much simpler than you think. Here’s how it works: in order to generate confidence when you’re feeling lousy, you’ll have to trick your mind into feeling confident until it’s ready to feel it on its own. This concept of “emotion hacking” plays on the idea of “fake it till you make it.” In order to forcefully create confidence, you’ll need to do things that generate it.

For instance, one of the key characteristics of confidence is a sense of achievement. Therefore, if you want to feel confident, then give yourself things to achieve! This can start with something as simple as making your bed, and grow toward larger objectives like running a 5K. If you need help with ideas and goals to achieve, please feel free to reach out to me! I’d love to help you create this plan!

If you find yourself struggling to implement these rules, you could be at risk of doing no contact incorrectly or ineffectively. I invite you to reach out to me if this is the case, and I’ll be able to hash out a strategy that you can follow. While no contact is bound to hurt in some degree or another – we can certainly make it as painful as we possible can.

No contact rule with ex : it’s going to change you !

No contact is one of the strongest methods when it comes to getting back with an ex, and I’ve been able to watch so many who use it get the results they want, where those who don’t use it, don’t get the results they way.

Take, Tyler, for instance. Tyler reached out to me a few months ago trying to get back with his ex. She had broken up with him just a few weeks before and like most, Tyler called and begged to change her mind. Although this approach was unsuccessful, he continued to reach out. When him and I got on the phone for our first session, he expressed his hesitations around no contact. For Tyler, no contact because in his mind, less words meant less love. I want to take a moment to state that I understand this fear. No Contact can seem or feel counterintuitive. However, in Tyler’s case, it was really necessary. Sadly, though, Tyler continued to reach out, and over the course of our coaching journey, had slowly become blocked on just about every platform outside of email. He’s still trying to get her back, today, but with the approaches that he’s been using, his chances are getting less and less realistic.

Then, you take, Kyle. By the time Kyle called me, he was actually in a worse position than Tyler. Kyle was already blocked and his ex swore to him and to herself that she would never be with him ever again. They had been together 4 years. Like Tyler, Kyle was pretty hesitant in going no contact. However, I promised him I’d stand beside him and to just trust me. Together, we developed a game-plan geared toward what he was going to do in no contact to keep himself busy and how to best position himself to catch her attention without having to reach out. Well, it’s been 2 months since we started and Kyle is now prepping for his CONFIRMED first date with his ex since the breakup.

Let these examples illustrate just how much power no contact rule with an ex can provide. It’s usually the most painful paths that yield the best results. I encourage you to use this as a mantra of sorts:

“If it hurts, that means it’s working”

Repeat that sentence to yourself whenever the pains you feel during no contact reach all time highs.

No contact rule after a break up : how to come back to your ex

If you’re reading this article, you’re probably waiting for this part : when and how to reach out to your ex after the cruel no contact has reached it’s end.

No contact is not eternal; you have to talk to your ex after 3 or 4 weeks (or slightly longer, depending on your unique situation) and begin to re-introduce the relationship. This time, however, you’ll be able to implement parameters that promote respect.

Remember, the point of no contact isn’t just about getting your ex back, it is also the time to prepare the ways in which you’ll be able to keep them. The most fundamental thing to focus on here is to restore the sense of respect between you and your ex. Respect, the rule, is important because it’ll ensure that your relationship doesn’t take the bad turn it did the first time around. This is particularly true during the no contact with ex if the previous relationship was verbally, emotionally or physically abusive. Use no contact to help come back with solutions and changes. Without them, there is little point in getting back together, anyway, because you’ll likely end up where you are right now.

When it comes down to how to approach your ex after no contact, it’s usually a positive recommendation to reach out using a letter. This letter, however, is not going to be a love letter. Rather, this is an accountability letter – a piece of writing aimed at acknowledging the ways you contributed to dismantling the relationship and how you’ve learned from them. If you reach out in this way, your ex will know that you’ve utilized the time you’ve had apart to discover things about yourself and by discovering them, you have thereby become able to modify and/or correct them.

In addition to accountability, the letter to your ex should also express a desire to maintain a basic relationship, but a romantic one! If your ex feels like you’re reaching out just to get back together after the no contact rule, they’ll likely think all of your changes were just ploys to get them back. If they feel this, they may react defensively rather than receptively, if they even reply at all.

If you are having difficulty writing this letter or defining the boundaries between romance and contact, I encourage you to reach out to me or my partners, Coach Adrian and Coach Alex. We’ve been fortunate enough to help thousands of people writing the perfect accountability letter every year, and we’d love to help you, too.

Additionally, we also have a product on our website, www.withmyexagain.com, that guides you on how to write your first contact after breakup letter. It offers samples and tips to get it right.

After you’ve sent the letter, I invite you to take a step back. They may not respond immediately; they may need time. If you find that your ex didn’t reply as quickly as you wanted, it doesn’t mean they’re gone for good. It also doesn’t mean that you should reach out again. This is the perfect time to show your parter than you’ve gained control of your emotions. If you open the floodgates of communication, it’ll only further reinforce that they made the right decision in leaving you.

When they respond, take your time in replying. Remember, you’re in control of your emotions now and living with a sense of purpose! A purpose driven life isn’t always available at the drop of a hat!

Try setting a time to meet with your ex after no contact. In this encounter, a great tip is to meet your ex somewhere the two of you haven’t been together. This will allow for you to build a brand new memory – the perfect introduction for the brand new relationship you are about to embark on! Also try to wear something they’ve never seen, or perhaps try a new hairstyle. By doing this, you’ll be able to give your ex the visual indication that time and space has come between you and that you’re no longer the person you were before.

You’ll be able to mention the letter you sent them during your meeting, but try not to stay on this topic for too long. We don’t want your ex to associate the encounter with distress or drama. Rather, we want to remind your ex that fundamentally, beneath all of what has happened in the past, that you two are compatible. Try letting the goal be to laugh as much as possible. Laughter is always a winner!

Don’t let the encounter last longer than one and a half hours. By limiting the length of your engagement, you can leave your ex wanting more of your company. If on the first time you see each other, you hang out for five hours, you may begin to run out of things to talk about or a sense of boredom can occur. Be wary of this, as if your ex feels bored while hanging out, they may let that feeling reaffirm why you two are better off apart. If you aren’t sure if you’ll have the strength to cut your bonding short, I encourage you to set an appointment for yourself that will force you to pull yourself away.

One last tip: avoid drinking. Drinking can lead to anger or lust and both of them have the possibility of triggering a negative or awkward experience that neither of you want to deal with.

If you’ve done no contact correctly, your likelihood of this meeting (and your likelihood of it going very well) should be very high. If they haven’t responded to your letter, don’t worry. We can reach out to them again at a later date, but until then, it’ll be important to reintroduce the no contact rule. If you reach out soon after not getting a response, you may empower them and consequently motivate them to stay away from rekindling the relationship.

Although no contact as a rule seems really scary, I promise you that it will really maximize your chances of getting back with your ex. It truly allows for both persons in the breakup to assess their situation and question whether or not the decision to separate was a wise one.

if you need help with no contact, or with the accountability letter, I’d be glad to help. Please feel free to leave a comment on this article. Share your thoughts or share your story, and we can see what makes sense for you. If you’d like a tailored game plan unique to your situation, I would love to schedule a session with you, where you’ll have the chance to share a detailed description of your situation and we can figure out whether or not the no contact rule is right for you.

 

The WMEA experts to know how to use the No Contact Rule after a breakup

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Getting back with your ex

How to attract your ex: The 3 best ways.

seduce an ex

As a relationship coach, I’m asked a lot of questions relating to topics of love and reconciliation. However, it’s the do’s and don’ts of how to attract your ex that I’m likely asked most about. In this article, you’ll find a few tips geared to help you get back with an ex.

Most importantly, these tools encompass the art of re-attraction and how to talk to your ex. If you can achieve re-attracting your ex, then the bulk of the work in getting them back is over.

Attract a man or attract a woman after a breakup

During a breakup, it’s normal to question whether or not your partner still finds you attractive. You may feel less sexy, unlovable and less desirable. However, don’t let these emotions get the best of you, because confidence is tip #1 and the most important tip in this article on how to attract your ex. Confidence is the primary tool you’ll need when it comes time to seduce your ex.

In fact, I find confidence to be so critical in how to attract an ex, that I insist for you to refrain from any outreach whatsoever until you’ve achieved this heightened perception of self.

Right now, you may say, “I feel so lousy, what if I’m never able to seduce my ex?”. Well, not to worry! There are ways to induce confidence. The number one way to gain some confidence is to give yourself things to accomplish. This can start with tiny tasks, some as basic as remembering to make your bed in the morning. That small like act can domino into several other things for you to complete per day.

Some ideas here can be, going to the gym, grocery shopping for the week, getting all those errands you’ve been avoiding out of the way. By completing these tasks, you’ll feel better about yourself, and thereby feel more attractive. Consequently, you’ll find yourself back in high spirits and ready to seduce your ex again.

How to get a guy’s attention after a breakup

This section is for the ladies. Now that you’re feeling good, let’s get down to the basics of how to get a guy to notice you. If you’re feeling as though achieving this is impossible, I can promise you that you’re wrong. Why am I so certain? Well, because you’ve achieved it before! Remember that time your ex found you irresistible? That’s what we’re trying to recreate. If you can pull this off, you will get your ex’s attention.

When it comes to how to get a guy to notice you, the first and main thing to consider in the importance of surprise. When you first started attracting your ex the first time around, he had to much to discover about you. You were a mystery to him. We need to bring back that element of surprise! I encourage you to try doing new things, switch up your daily routine and avoid monotonous behaviors.

Remember, when your ex left, he likely felt he knew your life and routine like a book, and based on this complete assessment – he questioned whether you were the right woman for him. Let’s show him that there’s more to you than what he’s seen, and there is so much left for him to learn. It’s in this tactic that you’ll seduce your ex and get your ex’s attention.

How to get a girl’s attention after a breakup

If you’re trying to learn how to attract a girl, much of the content listed in the ladies’ section above may apply to you, also. Particularly, the elements of surprise and confidence are essential in how to attract your ex and get your ex’s attention.

Women like for their partner’s to take the lead. So, for those of you reading, you’ll have to spearhead this. If you want to attract your ex, you’ll need to be confident and excited about what you’re doing and the life you’re living. Women desire men who are happy with themselves and always up for learning about themselves.

If you are having difficultly in the confidence arena, I invite you to try giving yourself things to achieve, like what I was discussing a few paragraphs ago in this article. That’s the most important way when it comes to how to attract an ex girlfriend.

How to seduce your ex

While the word “seduce” is often associated with a sexualized connotation, that’s not necessarily how I’m implying it in this article. In terms of how to get your ex back and how to attract your ex, seduction is very emotional and psychological. It’s not necessarily about how little clothing you’re wearing and what shows off your biceps (although looking great is also wonderful, as it shows you’ve been taking care of yourself!), but it’s about how you’re living.

If you’re trying to learn how to attract your ex, it all boils down to what you have to offer. Are you enjoying your life? Are you laughing often? Are you challenging yourself? What is beneath the clothes? At the end of the day, these are the sorts of things we want in a partner. So, it’s no surprise that these are the things one needs to showcase when it comes to how to get your ex back where they’re supposed to be: WITH YOU!

How to Attract your ex : what to do after ?

If you’ve successfully begun to attract your ex again, your work isn’t done. The last tip; one that is likely as important as confidence, is consistency. Whether your goal is to attract a man or to attract a woman, consistency will be key in order to keep them. Remember, although you’ve found the right way to attract your ex, they are still as capable of exiting your life as they were before. If you resort to your previous behaviors, it’ll be challenging for them to want to stick around, and then you’ll be right back here – where you started.

If you’ve begun infusing new things into your life and worked on that element of surprise we were previously going over – make sure to keep it up. If you slowly end up being who you were before, you will not attract your ex for the long-term. Please be very, very aware of this, as I wouldn’t want you to do all this work only to lose them.

If you have any questions or concerns about what to do and how to go about how to attracting your ex, whether you’re trying to attract a woman or attract a man, the team over at the with my ex again.com blog are here to help you. We specialize in relationship optimization, and have successfully helped thousands of couples reach their goals of rekindling and reconciliation.

If you aren’t sure whether or not your unique situation applies to my tips above, I’d love to hear more. Feel free to reach us at contact@withmyexagain.com.

 

Wishing you the very best always,

 

Coach N. from WMEA.com

 

 

 

 

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Getting back with your ex

How to talk to your ex : The Best 3 Tips!

ex talking

As if breakups themselves aren’t hard enough, knowing how to talk to your ex after the no contact rule can be just as painful and frustrating. At this point, it’s normal and fairly likely for you not to feel too great. You’re anxious, your self esteem may be on the decline and it’s natural to feel like a foreigner in your own skin.

I understand this feeling, I’ve been there. However, I also have the opportunity to coach hundreds of people on a monthly basis through their breakups. Particularly, I professionally prepare and position people to get back with their ex’s. If you’re reading this, you may believe that the chances of getting back with your ex seem nearly impossible. You may fear that you’ve lost them for good. In contrast to these fears, you have a higher chance of getting back with the person you love than you’re likely thinking.

Talking to an ex may seem like the scariest thing on Earth right now. However, if you can learn how to talk to your ex before the encounter(s) arise, you’ll be able to handle it sexily and confidently. I promise, it isn’t as hard as it may seem to you in this moment.

How to talk to an ex

There are a few tricks to keep in mind when it comes to talking to your ex. Most of these tricks are universally applicable, and aren’t necessarily to be determined by the type and status of the breakup you’re currently going through.

When it comes to that moment when you realize your ex is near, the first thing to do is NOT act surprised. Do not behave as though you’ve been caught off guard (even though you are!). You must try your very best to stay focussed on what you were doing before – be it speaking with a friend of enjoying a meal. If they notice your fear, you’ve automatically empowered them, and this will give them the upper hand when talking to an ex.

If your ex was the one to break up with you and if the decision to break up is due to their inability to trust you, you should certainly be polite when you see him or her, but make sure that when you get to talking to an ex, you aren’t overly engaged. What this means is, be kind and endearing, but don’t act guilty or overly apologetic. Don’t look at them with sad eyes or slouch your shoulders. It will be important for you take accountability for your behavior while still being strong.

If the breakup wasn’t relating to lack of trust, then the same rules will apply: always be polite, but not overly engaged. An example of this can be, for instance: say hello, say you’re doing well, nod when he or she tells you the same, and then casually excuse yourself to return to whatever you were doing before you noticed them in the room or area. Being concise and confident in this way is critical when it comes to how to talk to your ex.

If you’re wondering how to start a conversation with your ex, remember you don’t have to be afraid and you can initiate conversation, as long as you’re disposition is one of confidence and assertiveness. If your knees are buckling, you may not be ready to initiate conversation and so I would advice you to avoid it. I would rather nothing happen than something bad happen.

If the breakup was initiated by them and it ended on poor terms, maybe it’s wise to let them approach you. Remember, they made the decision to break up! Let them make the decision to say “hello” !

What to talk about with your ex

RULE OF THUMB: If you’re in the position where you end up talking to an ex, WHAT to talk about with your ex is just as important as how to talk to your ex.

Many times, when we find ourselves talking to an ex (especially if we want to get back together), we get so excited we over-extend ourselves. We’re overly polite and trying to make the conversation as long as possible. I advise against this. As perviously mentioned, when it comes to how to talk to an ex and what to talk about with your ex, concise and short conversation is most important.

Why?

Well, your ex must see that you’re able to live happily independently of them. They must see that, even though you broke up, your world hasn’t fallen apart. You are still living, you are living well, and nothing can bring you down. As partners (especially for ex’s) this attitude is incredibly attractive. In addition, it also makes them question the value and impact they added and had on your life. This can be positive because, in the same way focussing on them in the room can empower them (as perviously mentioned in this article), them doubting themselves in front of you can empower you. Let the tables turn!

If they ask you what you’ve been up to, remember that you can only be positive in terms of things to talk about with your ex. Make sure not to bring up the job you lost or fight you had with a good friend. Rather, mention the new things you’ve implemented into your daily routine. Maybe it’s a new hobby or place to eat, changes comes in a variety of shapes and sizes. Infusing the element of surprise is key when it comes to how to talk to an ex and how to what to talk about with your ex.

If you’re feeling like your situation is unique and like the above tips on how to talk to an ex don’t apply to you, I encourage you to reach out to me. I’d love to help you determine the smartest and most strategic plan of action so you can re-attract the person you love and value most.

Sometimes our nerves and fear can get the best of us, but I’m here to help you level set your actions and expectations.

I look forward to connecting with you and wish you the very best, always.

 

Coach Natalie & Alex

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Getting back with your ex

Having sex with your ex: good or bad idea? 5 rules to respect!

have-sex-with-my-ex

After breakup or divorce you and your ex are still talking, and you are realizing that there might be a way to become more intimate… You’ve picked up on your ex’s hints, or maybe you’re wondering how you could get them back into your bed. Whether or not you want to get back together, there are some things you should know about having sex with your ex that will help you to gage whether or not it’s a good idea in your situation!

In this article you’ll learn all about what happens when two exes sleep together and whether or not you can use it to your advantage. Emotions run high after breakups so it’s important to take care of yourself and ensure that you can move towards your ultimate goal in the best way possible. Sex with an ex is risky business, but there are situations in which it can be used to your advantage. Keep on reading to find out!

How come my ex only wants sex?

Physical attraction is one of the first things that bring two people into a relationship. Of course there are emotions, excitement, shared interests, but the physical aspect is huge. I’ve seen couples separate because even though everything in their relationship was perfect, their sex lives were lacking. That said, I have also seen couples separate because their emotional tie just wasn’t strong enough, but that didn’t mean that their carnal desire for one another was extinguished!

This is the type of situation you might have found yourself in if you’re thinking “My ex wants to have sex… What should I do?” Perhaps because of lack of communication, or The Routine you and your partner decided to call things off. Maybe you don’t even know why exactly things ended, but now you’re seeing that your ex wants to have sex with you. Sexual desire is not easy to control at all, and it’s the same for both of you.

Sure, it’s extremely tempting. You remember how it was… The passion, the fiery look in your ex’s eyes when they looked at you. We are sexual beings and when you meet someone you physically connect so well with… Well, it’s not surprising that you’d have a tough time forgetting about it. So now it’s up to you to figure out whether or not your want to have sex with your ex.

Sleeping with an ex is a way for a person to make an easier transition from being in a relationship to being single, but that does not always mean that it’s a good idea. Your ex doesn’t want to be totally alone but also doesn’t feel like they can invest in a relationship. Not to mention the fact that human beings are drawn towards pleasure.

Your ex maybe doesn’t want to be single and lose a sexual partner, so desire becomes a need. Was your physical bond the thing that was holding your relationship together at the end?

Basically, if the sex was good but the relationship wasn’t, it could account for why your ex only wants sex from you. It’s a strange feeling because on one hand it’s kind of flattering (more so if you want your ex back) but on the other hand it’s making you feel uneasy and you’re wondering if it’s a good idea.

Another reason why your ex still wants to have sex could simply be that they’re not sure of their feelings. If they broke up with you, they might be doubting their decision to leave and are trying to feel out what it would be like to be with you again without having to calling it a relationship yet. If you left them, it might be their way of trying to keep you around.

Perhaps your ex wants to sleep together because you’re familiar and you’re available. They don’t feel like they need to go out of their way to get you in bed. It’s comforting to be intimate and familiar with someone, but that doesn’t mean that it’s going to help you get closer to your goal, whether or not you want your ex back!

And maybe the ex wants sex simply because they miss having you around. When this happens, it’s important to make them figure out what they want. It’s up to you to decide whether or not you’re ok with being friends with benefits with your ex. If you’re not, it’s not a good idea to have sex with your ex!

Do I have to sleep with my ex?

Alright so that answer to “Do I have to sleep with my ex” is obviously no, but let’s look at some situations in which you might be wondering if it will help you get to your goal. Sex with your ex can open a whole can of worms so if you’re not prepared, things could end up backfiring on a major scale.

In order to know what’s best for you, it’s important to understand the situation. There are certain circumstances under which you should not sleep with your ex! For example, if you’ve decided that this relationship isn’t right for you and you want to move on, you should stay out of your ex’s bed. Sex brings two people closer together, even if you’re just cuddling, your brain releases oxytocin (which is a bonding chemical), and you instantly feel closer. This is not going to do anything to help you move on and turn a new leaf…

It’s of course tempting, especially if you’ve had a glass or two to drink. It’s just for fun right? Believe me if you really want to move on, avoid sex with the ex at all costs.

Sleeping with your ex: I’m not sure about what I want

As I mentioned above, sometimes an ex wants to have sex because they aren’t sure about what they feel for you and are using sex as a means to gage what they want. But there is another possibility as well; maybe you’re the one who isn’t sure about what you feel.

It’s important to avoid having regret if you want your love life to be really fulfilling. If you’re thinking, “my ex only wants sex” and you’re not sure of what you want, it would be best to take a step back! No one is forcing you to spend the night with them, even if you still live together. Sleeping in separate bedrooms is sometimes best; especially if you don’t want any misunderstandings. Just because you’re sleeping together doesn’t mean you’re back together!

During this time it’s totally normal for a person to feel vulnerable and want to fall back into the arms of the person they had been in a relationship with just because it’s easy. The truth is that in times like this, having sex with your ex only makes matters even more complicated. You’re going to feel physically closer and it will make you feel more confused. If you need to figure out what you feel, having sex with ex is exactly what you should not do. Instead, take some time apart because time and distance are the only things that are going to make things clear in your mind.

Ex wants sex: But I don’t know if they still have feelings for me

Perhaps you’re wondering “should I have sex with my ex” because you’re tempted, but at the same time you’d like to get a better idea of what they feel for you! Sure, you might feel closer in the moment, but if anything, it might just make both of you feel more confused.

If you’re thinking, “My ex wants to have sex,” it’s not a telltale sign that they still have feelings for you. As I wrote above, sex is fun, it’s easy with an ex, and they might be just be using it as a way to transition from being in a relationship to being 100% single. Now, if you want your ex to have feelings for you, sex is also not the way to make them fall for you. In the second part of this article I will explain what you need to do to make your ex come back.
For now, don’t use sex as a tool to try and make this happen.

If you definitely don’t have feelings for your ex but you’re thinking that they might have feelings for you, sex with a ex should still be avoided. There’s no reason to make them feel closer to you and then not let it turn into anything serious. There’s no reason to cause more pain or confusion. A breakup is hard enough as it is!

Should I have sex with my ex if I want them back

Ahh, so what happens if you want your ex back? Should you have sex with your ex as a means to lure them back in? As you’ve undoubtedly understood, in the majority of cases it’s a bad idea. All it does it make things more confusing and more painful when it doesn’t go any further. But there is a situation in which sex can be used as a tool to make your ex return to you. I’ll explain in a moment.

Sex with the ex is rarely a good thing…

Perhaps you’re still not convinced that sleeping with an ex is such a bad thing if you want them back. Maybe you’re thinking that if you’re being intimate, it means that things are improving, right? You’re becoming closer, right? Well let me ask you this: Why exactly did you and your ex partner break up, and will sex make it right?had sex with ex

If you aren’t hoping to get back together, and your ex wants sex and you give in, you’re both just postponing the inevitable. At one point you’re going to have to mourn the relationship and allow yourself to heal and move on. Think of it as a Band-Aid. If you don’t rip it off in one quick motion, it’ll be a long, drawn out and unnecessarily painful process. Not to mention, it is very likely that one of you will start developing feelings for the other, and could result in even more heartbreak.

There’s also the possibility that your ex wants “casual sex with an ex” and will end up using you. They probably aren’t doing it on purpose, but it’s still not fair to you. Sex without commitment is like giving your ex cake and letting them eat it too. Sometimes you even start lying to yourself thinking, “Oh they’re using me just as much as I’m using them,” but it’s very rare for a person to truly believe that. There’s no point in lying to yourselves.

There are certain situations in which it’s a good idea to take sex with your ex!

After all this time I’ve spent harping about how bad it is to sleep with your ex in almost every situation, you might be surprised to find that there are some times when it could actually help you get them back. Under these circumstances, the answer to can I have sex with my ex depends on two things: how long you were together, and if lack of sex was the reason behind your separation.

When two people separate after a short relationship, sex can be actually used to bring them closer together again. You hadn’t had the time to develop a deep emotional bond and so the physical bond can be used to your advantage. If this is the case for you, you’ll have to focus on seduction to attract your ex back, and we’ve got an entire piece that you can read on how to do that here.

If the lack of sex in your relationship happened to be the reason behind your breakup, then it can absolutely be used as a means to get back together. In fact, it’s probably the simplest way to do so! All you have to do when you’re thinking I want to have sex with my ex is to work on seducing them again and then take more of an initiative to be intimate. Perhaps your ex didn’t feel appreciated or desired, so once you get them back in bed with you, show them how much you care.

Be careful not to become your ex’s friend with benefits!

The line between just sleeping with an ex and becoming their friend with benefits is very thin. The thing that makes the difference is how often you have sex with your ex. When you begin to have regular one night stand with your ex, you risk allowing your relationship to simply stay in this state of “in between.” You’re not together, but you’re also not completely separated.

It doesn’t matter who is instigating, the issue is that aside from a roll in the sheets, there’s no connection, no tenderness, and no real intimacy. If you allow this to continue, you’re basically allowing your ex to have all he advantages of a relationship, without any of the investment or challenge.

Now I realize that a lot of people are very happy with this type of no-strings-attached relationship, and if this is your choice then more power to you. The only thing is that this isn’t just anyone we’re talking about here. It’s your ex; the person you used to share your life with and you used to share so much. So having sex with your ex is a very easy way to set yourself up for getting hurt. It’s so rare for neither of the two exes to develop feelings for the other person again.

If you realize that you’re secretly hoping to get back together and you’re hoping that sex will do the trick, be careful. If your ex begins to see you as their friend with benefits, it’s not going to be easy to step out from underneath this label. Perhaps you’re afraid of no longer being in touch and you feel that sex with your ex will ensure that they remain in your life. This isn’t the healthiest approach so I’d suggest that you switch your focus to developing a fulfilling friendship.

The most important thing to do is to take a step back and put things in perspective in order to pinpoint which approach is going to be the best for you. Yes, some people succeed in getting back together by sleeping with their ex, but these cases are very rare. If you’d like to know more about what techniques are available to you (especially if you’ve already started sleeping with your ex,) I highly recommend setting up an appoint with us!

If sex with an ex isn’t the only way to get them back, what should I do?

If there’s one thing you take from this article, let it be this: Your ex will want you back as soon as you present a challenge.

It’s not surprising that you might be thinking, “I wanna have sex with my ex,” but it’s not going to get you anywhere unless you make them work for it. Let’s take a moment to think about human nature; When you really work for something and invest in it, you appreciate it much more than if you had just received it without having to put forth any effort. Relationships between two people work the same way.

Making it easy for an ex to sleep with you is not going to suddenly make them realize that you’re the person they want to spend the rest of their life with. The trick is making them realize that it’s worth the effort to be with you.
Similarly, if you abruptly take something away from someone, they will miss it even more. So if you want to get back together, instead of still having sex with ex, let’s look at how exactly you can get your ex back.

Instead of sleeping with an ex, lure them back with No Contact

If you’re not familiar with the no contact rule, it’s basically cutting contact with your ex for a period of 1 to 3 months. It’s scary, it’s hard, and it requires a lot of self control and patience, but it is the single most effective method for getting an ex back. And it obviously does not involve sex with ur ex! The goal of the no contact rule is to make your ex fear losing you!

So depending on how messy your break up was, instead of obliging when your ex wants to have sex, you cut contact with them for at least 30 days. That means not even a text, an email, or a phone call. Make sure you stay off of their social media profiles, and don’t “accidentally” bump into them somewhere.

If they reach out to you, you have to resist the urge to respond! If you give in, you’ll be right back at square one and they’ll feel that they can get your attention whenever they feel like it.

Even if you’ve already started having sex with your ex, they’ll be even more taken off guard if you suddenly disappear. They will start to wonder what happened and why you’re not speaking to them anymore. Before you know it, they’ll begin to wonder if they made the right choice to separate from you.

During this time apart, it’s very important to focus on certain things…

Instead of having sex with your ex: focus on self improvement

Instead of having sex with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, your goal should actually be self improvement. You can vastly improve your life, all the while getting you closer to your ex. The goal of self-improvement when getting your ex back (aside from bettering your life,) is to remind your ex of the person they fell in love with and becoming an even better version of them.

During this time, take some time out for yourself and focus on your hobbies and projects. Spend time with your friends and family, and hit the gym. Focus on making yourself happier and you’ll see that you’ll attract people like never before. A genuine smile is like a magnet.

Building up your self-confidence will help you in all aspects of your life.

Another thing to note is that when you break up with someone, it’s crucial to accept and understand the break up whether or not you want to get back together with your ex. Pinpointing what wasn’t functioning in your relationship will allow you to come up with appropriate solutions in the future. Accepting the breakup also allows you to heal and move forward. In the future, if you get back together, you will have to construct a new, more solid relationship. Breakups never happen without a reason, so if you’ve been able to understand what went wrong and can offer the best solutions, you’ll ensure that your new relationship will be better than ever before.

sex with your ex: Wait for the right moment

After you’ve taken the time to grow, heal, and figure out what needed to change, you can start getting back in touch with your ex. When you do, avoid jumping right into sleeping with your ex, or even talking about the breakup for that matter. At first, you have to simply show them the new and improved version of yourself, and this will inevitably make them start thinking about what it would be like to be back in your arms.

Once you start luring them in and becoming closer, you must still take your time jumping into sex with the ex. After you’ve reestablished contact and you’ve started talking again, you can begin to flirt a bit. At first, keep it ambiguous, and remember: don’t bring up the relationship or the break up too soon. Think of this as a way to begin a new relationship with your ex!

The ideal thing would be to start having sex with your ex once you realize that you’ve succeeded in making them want to invest in a relationship. It’s very likely that you’ll start seeing their interest early on, but you’ve got to draw it out. Not only must you keep their interest by continuing to show them how much you’ve improved and how exciting your life is, you have to continue improving your life and making them realize how much they want to be with you again. Sex will inevitably happen, so do what’s in your power to ensure that it’s not premature and that it doesn’t give your ex the wrong idea about you.

Sleeping with my ex when we’re back together: Keeping the flame alive

A common mistake I see is when a person gets back together with their ex and says, “I slept with my ex now what?” When you begin a new relationship with your ex, don’t neglect seduction just because you’ve reached your goal. The easiest thing is getting your ex back; the hardest thing is actually keeping them.

So when you begin a new relationship, never lose sight of innovation. Relationships begin to suffer when the excitement dwindles. It’s completely normal for things to change once the honeymoon stages, but don’t let The Routine creep in and make your relationship stagnant!

Sex with your ex should continue happening throughout your entire relationship because it only brings you closer. Think of ways to surprise your ex and to keep the flame alive. The better you get to know your partner, the easier it will be to surprise them.

To summarize, unless you were in a very short relationship with them, use sex with your ex as a means to fortify your relationship when you get back together; not as a means to get back together.

 

Sincerely,

Your relationship expert for knowing whether or not to have sex with your ex

 

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Getting back with your ex

How to get your ex wife back: 5 pro tips to win her back!

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Maintaining a relationship is never easy to do. In truth, living with someone of the opposite sex and making sure that the love never fizzles out isn’t always a piece of cake. That said, the joy you feel is completely worth the efforts you have to make. Nevertheless not everything is always perfect and problems can arise in your relationship.

So did you end up separating and are you devastated that your wife has left you? You wish that you would have done some things differently in order to ensure that she would have stayed by your side? Are you living in the past and regretting decisions and actions that may have caused her to leave? Are you dying to how to get your ex wife back? If you answered yes to any of these questions then this article is for you, andyou have come to the right place.

These days men and women have the tendency to break up very quickly when it’s still possible to save the relationship. A few compromises and sacrifices would have been enough… Way too many people decide to separate after just a few days of disagreement and they don’t give their love story another chance. But when problems have existed for a long time, it is more understandable (and unfortunately more probable) that two people would separate.
That said, it doesn’t mean that you should just cross your arms and let the woman you love walk out the door for good. Asking yourself how can I get my wife back or figuring out how to make her love you again is far from impossible. All you have to do is avoid making mistakes and find pertinent and impactful actions. When you’re faced with this situation, you often feel like you’ll never find love again and you wonder if you should even try to get your wife back.

You start feeling a lot of doubt and emotions can easily take the reigns and control you and your actions. If this is the case, you have to change your attitude as soon as possible, and know that I am here to help guide you. Maybe you hadn’t thought about calling on a love coach to save your relationship… But if you’re wondering how you’re going to be able to succeed in making her come back, you’ll need some help.

You were going to do it alone but the situation is getting out of control and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. We’ve already helped over 15,000 people so if it’s any reassurance, you’re not the first nor the last person to find themselves in this situation! The first step to getting ahead is designing a good strategy, and you’ll learn how to do so in this article on how to get my ex wife back.

Get your ex wife back after a breakup or a big fight? The difference is huge…

Before you can know what strategy to adopt, you have to understand what kind of situation you’re currently in because this will determine what actions you’re going to have to carry out. It’s very important to make the distinction between a big fight and a separation.

If it was “just” a fight, even if the tensions are extremely high and communication has been severed, you still have an advantage even if “I’m leaving you” was said because it was said in the heat of the moment. This changes a great deal of things when it comes to getting ex wife back.

A separation is something very difficult to go through so never threaten your ex with it in hopes of getting a reaction. The consequences are considerable and this would be playing with fire. If your wife is the one that wants to leave, you will have to follow guidelines to the T and reestablish an affinity between you, then attraction and then emotions. There is a very specific plan of action to follow whether you have already separated, or if you are in the middle of a terrible fight.

How to get your ex wife back: Introspection and Focusing on Yourself

Sometimes people focus so much on wanting their ex back that they forget to take a look at themselves and identify what needs to change. It’s not a question of pride; it’s more that the person is so emotionally distraught that they’re just putting all their energy and focus on the fact that they want their wife to come back. The truth is that if you you want to win back your ex wife, you’ll have to ask yourself some honest questions and design solutions that allow you to take charge and change the situation…

Identify the reasons why she decided to leave

The first step in the healing and reconciliation process is to take a long look in the mirror and to be honest with yourself in order to identify why your wife decided to leave you. This is called the “self-reflection period.” It will enable you to come to terms with the separation, as well as identify the aspects of your life that you wish to change in order to become a better person, and a more compelling partner.

The goal here is not to engage in self-pity and feel sorry about your situation. It is just simply a mechanism to enable you to understand the past relationship from your partner’s point of view, as well as identify what changes you need to make in your life to become the person that you truly want to be.

How to get a woman back: Stop living in the past

Once you have completed the first step of our healing process, it is of utmost importance that you stop dwelling on the past. Re-hashing your previous relationship over and over again will not help you with getting an ex back. On the contrary it will only prevent you from taking the necessary steps to look forward and to start rebuild yourself. This realization may actually be the most crucial in the entire recovery process.

Often times people do not let themselves move on and continuously torture themselves. Nothing can be more detrimental to winning back your ex as feeling sorry for yourself and trying to revive a failed relationship. Take our advice for it, once you have identified what went wrong, you simply need to look forward and move on as you start making the necessary changes.

Win your ex back: Step out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself on a daily basis

The best way to stay in the present moment is to focus on the things that you can control. Step 1 has enabled you to identify aspects of your life that you wish to change or improve upon to become a better and more loveable person. The idea here is to convert those elements into measurable goals and to be accountable to them on a daily basis.
For example, let’s say that you have decided to be more social; you could set the goal to engage in a conversation with a total stranger at least once every day for a certain time period (of at least 3 weeks). If you want to be more how to win back my ex wifeloving or compassionate; you could set your sights on doing a kind gesture at least once a day, this could be as simple as doing a favor for a friend or holding the door for a colleague at work.

The key element here is to be consistent and to be accountable. Before you know it, you will be living in the present moment, and looking to become a better person on a daily basis instead of focused on your sorrows and living in the past!

Crucial steps for how to get your ex woman back

Of course each relationship is very different and the reasons behind why a woman would chose to leave can vary, and after having coached so many people during their separation I’ve been able to note some common denominators. One of the most common culprits is the dreaded The Routine. This is one of the worst things in a relationship, especially when you take your wife for granted and you neglect her. Even when your relationship is officially over after infidelity, distance, or anything else, you have to know that boredom, bad habits, and routine play a big role in this tough decision.

How to win back my ex wife: Stopping the routine!

If you’re familiar with my philosophy you know that this is why I always insist on working on making changes on a daily basis just after the breakup. It is precisely this type of evolution that will permit you to get back together with your wife.

By adopting a new attitude, you’re going to send a new image to your ex and they will feel more inclined to start something new with you!
When you’re faced with this kind of situation, you have to erase the past and show your ex-partner that you want to forget the relationship you had before so that you can create a new and improved one. Of course you have to do this with tact and not be too direct; otherwise you’ll foil your plan.

As I often say, you have to fly under the radar while trying to get back together with your ex. If she is the one that left you, then she had her reasons and you therefore have to propose something completely different from the past. It goes without saying that you should hold on to the good things, but you should get rid of all the rest…
In order to do this, you can use a very efficient technique that is called radio silence or the no contact rule. This is a key step in your personal reconstruction that will allow you to think about the actions you need to carry out in order to rekindle the flame with your wife and show her that you can be the man of her dreams.

If your goal is to win back your ex-wife and start anew, this step is of paramount importance. I cannot stress enough how crucial it is for you to NOT contact your ex before the time is right.

The mistake that 90 percent of people make in trying to get back with an ex-lover is pleading or begging to be taken back. This will only reinforce the desire of your ex-wife to want space and comfort her in her decision to have left in the first place…

How can I get my wife back by using distance?

I just mentioned one of the most potent techniques for getting your ex back, the no Contact Rule. You are probably wondering what this method of cutting all ties with your ex-wife is doing in this article about communication…

It’s simply because communication doesn’t always have to be verbal.

You don’t need to send her a million text messages to get her back. After having coached thousands of people since 2007, we can share something with you; we have not encountered one person that has gotten back together with their significant other by being overly present! So the more you hover over her, the more she will want to get away from you. It’s mechanical! When getting ex love back, giving her space to breathe is essential.
What’s more, if she comes back to you it has to be her decision. Making her feel forced or pressured will not help the situation…

This is why RS is so great. It keeps you from making any mistakes and being oppressive. You will be able to discretely show that you can live without hovering over your ex.

Maybe you live under the same roof and you’re thinking that making distance between you is impossible. The good news is that there are many different types of RS and all you have to do it adapt it to your personal situation. We’ve written an eBook explaining the different ways you can use Radio Silence, and it even works in situations that you think are hopeless. If you want things to change with your wife, don’t wait any longer before learning more because the clock is ticking. The more time passes, the farther away your wife becomes.

A solid couple is one that can communicate, that knows each other like the back of their hand, and if you want to rekindle your wife’s feelings for you you’re going to have to face the problems you were having and find solutions.

A bonus tip from the coach for how to win back your ex wife!

It’s important to understand that radio silence isn’t going to be the solution to all the issues that could exist in your relationship. I often get messages from men saying, “I’ve cut contact, I’ve blocked her on Facebook, but she’s not coming back!” RS isn’t just cutting communication and not doing anything else! You have to accompany it with precise, pertinent actions that will spark her curiosity so that she feels the desire to get closer again, little by little. You can do this both with physical change as well as with change in your attitude.

Side note: If on the other hand, your relationship is facing a crisis, you haven’t actually broken up yet, and you’re just going through a rough patch, radio silence is NOT the best option.

In fact it could enhance bitterness, and communication is much more useful provided you do it properly. It’s not enough to say, “Honey, let’s sit down and talk about our problems.” This is more likely to get on her nerves, especially if you’ve already had countless conversations about the issues and haven’t fixed anything. Your wife needs more than that so today you’re going to have to get on the same page. You can’t rekindle the flame within just a few days and you’ll have to make a valiant effort if you really want her back in your arms.

Sooner or later, if your wife hasn’t made the first step, you’ll have to set into motion some actions that will end your radio silence, or you’ll have to make her notice that you’ve understood her. This can be direct or indirect but she will need a pretty strong sign. A handwritten letter is one of the best techniques when you want to know how to get your ex wife back, and you can use it to communicate to her how you feel, that you’ve understood the reasons behind the breakup, and to tell her what you can provide her with some here on out.

Understand that if you are asking yourself how can I get my wife back, the answer is not just about being forgiven or showering her with extravagant gifts. It’s about providing solutions to the problems and you’ll be able to do this in the letter you write to her.

But be careful… After having suggested them, it’s imperative that you prove to your wife that you’re able to make the necessary efforts on for the long run! Empty words are more detrimental than you might think; especially in such a fragile period.

Seize the moment, it IS possible to get your ex-wife back!

If you follow these steps and listen to our tips, the dream to win back your ex will come. Once this occasion presents itself, it is crucial that you truly change, because your ex-wife will be able to tell if you are merely pretending or playing a role to try and impress her!

In order to ensure that it is the case, after a separation you must quickly analyze what changes you wish to make in your life, stop living in the past, and challenge yourself on a daily basis while staying accountable to your new objectives.

This process will enable your ex-wife to envision a new relationship and project a future where she can be feel happy and fulfilled by your side for you will have become a new man.

The key to recovering a lost love and to winning her back is not merely salvaging a broken relationship, but creating a new one, independent from the negativity of your previous love story!

 

Your love coach, here to help you get your ex wife back
Alex Cormont & Christina

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Getting back with your ex

I broke up with my boyfriend but I still want him: What do I do?

my bf and I broke up

It’s happened. You regret your decision to divorce or to break up with your ex. You’ve found yourself thinking about him all the time, missing his company and the memories you shared together. You’re looking at old photos and you start to think that your decision may have been a bit hasty. So now you’re wondering if that damage has been done and if it’s too late to get him back… You’re in luck because you’ve found an article that’s going to tell you how to get him back if I broke up with my boyfriend, and what exactly you need to do to succeed. In love anything is possible as long as you follow the rules I’m about to share with you!

I know that you might be feeling stressed out right now because you’ve become aware of the consequences of your actions. The man you love is no longer by your side because you had decided to leave him. He’s hurt, he’s angry, and you’re wondering if he could ever forgive you and take you back. In this article we will take a look at what he’s feeling, what to do to make him want you back, and what to expect along the ride. Heads up; it’s not an easy feat, but stick with it and you’ll see results sooner than you expect!

Important question: Why do you want to get your ex back after you broke up?

Before we go any further, I want you to take a moment to ask yourself why exactly you want to get back together with your ex if you left him. Be very honest with yourself because this is a huge decision. It impacts both of you on a huge scale!

I broke up with my boyfriend but I don’t like to see them this sad

I’ve been surprised to find that sometimes when I ask people this question, they start telling me, “I broke up with my boyfriend but I hate seeing my ex so upset!” The more we talk about it, the more I start to see that they are actually starting to wonder about asking him to return simply because they feel guilty. I saw this happen with one of my best friends.

He got back together with his ex because he didn’t like seeing her heartbroken, and then surprise, they separated again not longer after that. He wasn’t happy with the relationship so he broke up with her, then he took her back because she was sad, and then they broke up again because neither person was actually happy. You see the pointlessness…? Not to mention the emotional roller coaster… Asking an ex to come back after I broke up with him is very serious and should not be taken lightly.

I broke up with him but I’m lonely now

Maybe you didn’t realize that this is the case until you read that title. “Wait.. Do I really want to be with this person or do I just not want to be alone?”

Getting someone back should never be done just because you don’t like being alone. It’s unfair to both of you because you’re giving your ex false hope and you’re cheating yourself from being truly happy. Don’t play games. Besides, it’s imperative to be able to stand on your own two feet. There is an incredible amount of growth that happens when a person is alone for a while. No one says you should remain single forever, but it is really healthy. I know that I broke up with himdoesn’t sound very enticing when you’ve just broken up, but with some hindsight you see how important it really is.

If you’re feeling that this is the case for you, take some time to enjoy being on your own before you start working one trying to make your ex come back after you just broke up with boyfriend. Take some time to explore whether or not you’re emotionally dependent on this person or not. Do you need them in order to be happy? If the answer is yes, then it’s time to do a bit of work in the confidence department!

My boyfriend and I broke up but I’ve put things into perspective

Time heals wounds, believe me. A person can feel like their sadness will be eternal, but it won’t be.

Speaking of time… Do you want to find out how to get your ex back because enough time has passed for things to become clearer in your mind in terms of how you feel about this person? Are you realizing, we broke up but I still love him? Sometimes a little distance does wonders for getting rid of confusion. Relationships sometimes encounter obstacles and challenges that make a person feel overwhelmed. It’s not uncommon for someone to back out when the pressure becomes too much, and then regret their decision when they realize that they didn’t have to take it that far.

Perhaps you’ve just come to realize that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and it was a huge mistake to leave them.

Don’t worry, it’s not the end of the world. We can help you win your ex back!

The ugly truth after I split up with my boyfriend

Would you believe me if I told you that getting your ex back is actually going to be the easiest part of what awaits you? The truth is that if you follow the rules that I’ve listed in the second half of this article, you will be able to catch your ex’s attention and attract them back into your life. The tricky thing is going to be keeping them.

Once you’ve showed them why they should be with you, you’ll have to maintain it all. Break ups don’t happen without reason, so it’s going to be imperative that you pinpoint what wasn’t working and figure out long term solutions. If you convince your ex to return after ending a relationship with someone you love you will have to start a NEW relationship with them. The moment it starts to resemble the one that wasn’t working, separation will start looming over your heads again.

As with anything, there is no guarantee of success, but if you do your work, the odds will be in your favor.

I broke up with my bf: Why I need a plan ?

When you’re thinking of ways to get your ex back, never underestimate the importance of having a plan.

It’s a delicate process after I broke up with my boyfriend, so your actions need to be well organized and well thought out. If it’s not the case, you risk being messy and drifting further away from your goal. Designing a plan of action requires that you assess the situation and that you understand what exactly went wrong. Once you’ve done this, you’ll have more clarity.

Taking your time is one of the keys for how to get him to come back after you’ve split up with boyfriend and having a plan will ensure you take things slow. The worst thing you could do right now is to rush and to pressure your ex! Besides, if your ex takes you back, they need to feel that it was their idea, and not because you’ve pressured them into it.

Having a plan will also help you to keep calm and stay focused on what you’re doing.

Getting back together is a lot to think about, whether you’ve broken up with boyfriend or not, and if you’re just winging it chances are that you’ll panic, act out, and not respect certain rules that are in place to increase your chances of success. It’s kind of like if you have some important to be in half an hour, but you have no idea how to get there or where it is. You’re going to enter the destination into your GPS and get a clear picture of what you need to do instead of racing around all the streets trying to find the right one…

I broke up with my boyfriend but I’ll get him back if I DON’T do the following!breaking up with someone you still love

Getting an ex back will require that you avoid certain actions like the plague! You don’t want to give your ex reason to want to get away from you, right? So let’s take a look at some of the most important pieces of breaking up with someone you love advice. NOT doing these things is just as important as doing the things I recommend in the last portion of this article!

  • Begging. Oh man this is the worst. Whatever you do, do not blow up your ex’s phone right now. Both of you need space to breathe, and stifling your ex is just going to make them run for the hills.
  • Reasoning with them: Don’t try to convince your ex that they’d be better off with you. As I mentioned above, if they come back to you it has to be their decision. Sure, you can do your part to make them more likely to return, but they won’t do it if they don’t feel like it was their idea!
  • Showering them with I love you’s: Now is not the time to smother your ex with love. You left, they’re hurt, you’ve talked about your feelings enough for now.
  • Giving them gifts: Again, now is not the time. And what’s more, this makes you look desperate, or like you’re trying to buy their love back! You won’t win your ex’s heart back buying him new stuff. Seriously.

There are also some things that you must avoid doing for yourself when you want to get ex back. Sometimes people try to change for the other person… This is not going to help you because it’s not a genuine change that you decided you should make, and it puts pressure on you to use this change to satisfy your partner. Lasting improvements stick when they’re done for yourself.

Do not become idle when you’re wondering how to get my ex back! First of all, you’re not going to get your ex back by sitting on the couch, thinking, I broke up with him but I want him back. Second of all, idleness often leads to depression, which further prevents you from moving forward towards your goal. It becomes a negative cycle. You need to stay busy because that’s what’s going to bring you closer to your goals (both ex-oriented and not!)

And lastly, do not let your ex take advantage of you. Yes, you just broke up with boyfriend so you’re not quite being seen in the best light, but don’t let your ex use you. For example, if they ask you to do a bunch of things for them, say yes, but within reason. For example if they want you to go pick up their dry cleaning and pay for it and bring it to them…. Well… They might be milking the situation a bit – especially if they’ve picked up on the fact that you want them back. Be kind, be reasonable, but stand your ground as well. No one likes a doormat.

The 3 steps after breaking up with someone you still love!

Adhering to these rules and following these steps are going to be the determining factors in your attempt at getting back together with him after you left him. Well, that and the fact that nothing can be guaranteed. I’m not going to tell you that you will 100% for sure get back together. All I can do is give you the tools to significantly increase your chances of success.

I know this is hard when you break up but still in love, and there are all kinds of temptations to make mistakes, but you have to remain in control. You will be very happy you became such a master of self control when your ex is back in your arms!

1. The golden rule after I broke up with my boyfriend

If you’re not familiar with the no contact rule, read this article immediately because it’s going to be your best friend right now. The no contact rule explain here by Adrian a broke up expert is arguably the most successful tool for how to get my ex back. Why? Because it basically makes your ex fear losing you for good, and therefore makes him realize how much he actually wants you. I understand that he might be hurt and angry with you for leaving him, but once the anger subsides he will realize that he misses you.

How do I use the no contact rule when I have broken up with my boyfriend?

While you’re using this strategy, you do not get in touch with him in any way and you have to be very disciplined. A lot of people that use this tool end up failing because they can’t fight the temptation to contact their ex. This puts them right back at square one!

His reaction will vary, and you can read about what to expect in this article.

Get him back after you breaking up with boyfriend by attracting them from a distance. Trust me, it’s possible to do even if you’re not in touch. In fact, it’s even easier because you can use social media and word of mouth to your boyfriend and I broke upadvantage… By bringing positive change into your life and becoming visibly happier and more fulfilled, you immediately become more attractive to everyone around you. The key is to really focus on making your life the way you want it to be. Remind them of the person they fell in love with and become an even better version of them.

I broke up with my ex but I want him back: A word of caution…

Since your ex is the dumpee in this situation, be careful to not make it look like you’re just thrilled to be free of him. Post pictures of you with your closest friends instead of you with random guys. Post pictures of you trying your hand at photography instead of you partying in clubs.

During this time, focus on improvements. Go to the gym, focus on getting ahead in work, pick up an old hobby, and don’t forget to spend ample time with your friends and family. Getting an ex you leave is like killing two birds with one stone when you use the no contact rule. Not only do you vastly improve your life, but you make your ex miss you after breaking up with him.

Take some time to fully accept and understand the breakup. Accepting it allows you to move forward without being anchored in the past, and understanding why you broke up enables you to figure out solutions for the future. You two broke up for a reason so when you get back together, it can’t be the same as it was before.

I should mention; if you broke up with your ex boyfriend and you’re using the no contact rule, make sure you don’t use it for too long. Use your judgment. If your breakup was messy then you can use it for up to 3 months, but otherwise try to limit it to about 30 days.

2. Getting back in contact after I broke up with boyfriend

There are many different methods for getting back in touch to get back your ex. You can send a text message that is hard to resist replying to. For example, “You’ll never guess what I saw today…” When you get back in touch, conversation needs to remain light at first! It’s really important, because you don’t want your ex to feel pressured or stressed out about what’s happening.

You could also try the “empty text” trick that’s a bit less sure fire but effective nonetheless. You send an empty message to your ex and chances are that they’ll respond to you asking what you meant to send. You can play it off as an accident but start talking to them anyway! Getting my ex back even if I broke up with my boyfriend isn’t impossible as long as you reintroduce contact slowly and gently.

If you’re wondering, “Should I call him after breakup and you’ve let some time pass, then yes! That’s a good way to go as well. You can call him up to see how he’s doing, you could “accidentally” bump into him somewhere. Greet him with an inviting smile, keep conversation light and focused on the good things you’ve got going on, and look your best. That said; don’t blow up his phone once you’re back in touch! Let him breathe.

When you get back in contact to get your ex back after breaking up but still in love, avoid talking about the relationship and about the breakup! Don’t say anything like, “I miss you,” or, “I’m sorry and I just want you back!” When you meet up, do NOT call it a date or else your ex will immediately put his guard up. You want to rebuild complicity and trust now. Your desires and the relationship will come up in conversation eventually, so let it happen naturally as you rebuild your bond.

The key for fixing things after I broke up with him: Taking things slow

As I just said, the focus should be on rebuilding the complicity between you. You’ll have the opportunity to apologize if you had done something wrong, and offer solutions to the issues that your relationship had been facing. Getting back together after you break up with someone you love is not an easy task, especially if you’re the one that broke their heart, but in love nothing is impossible.

Start doing new things together. You want to introduce something fresh and new so that your ex feels that they’re not stepping right back into something that’s going to hurt them (they don’t want to re experience the relationship that ended up with them being broken up with.) If you want to get back with ex you have to make them want to start a new relationship with you!

Taking things slowly allows you to handle things as they come up and to practice pattern breaking. If something comes up that is reminiscent of the issues you were having in your relationship, take the time to incorporate your solutions. Taking your time also helps with the pressure that comes with piecing things back together. You want everything to be perfect this time so sometimes you feel overwhelmed.

I broke up but I still love him: Patience is a virtue!

In summary, if you left your boyfriend and you want him back, you’re going to have to be determined yet patient at the same time. There’s no sense in rushing, begging, or pressuring. Time is going to let tensions and pain heal while allowing you to change what needs to be changed. You can become a better version of yourself and in the I just broke up with my boyfriendprocess you’ll be able to offer a better relationship to your ex. With some distance, you’ll eventually be able to propose proper solutions that ensure that your relationship is even more solid than it was before.

As I explained, getting over a breakup when you broke it off, and getting the man you love back is the easy part. The hard part is maintaining the new relationship and not falling back into past problems. Once you and your ex are back together, you must ensure that you both communicate with one another about what you are happy with and what you feel needs improvement. Neither of you can read the other’s mind!

Be open and honest when you two begin talking about your relationship and breakup and be attentive when your ex opens up to you. Ask them questions and offer solutions. Show them that you want to improve things for both of you and that you’re willing to do the work. Don’t make the mistake of getting your ex back and letting things deteriorate just as they did before.

As always, if you want one on one guidance when you’re thinking I broke up with my boyfriend now I want him back, get in touch with us today by leaving your comment on this article or by visiting our coaching page!

 

Sincerely,

Your relationship expert for how to get my ex back

Christina

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Getting back with your ex

How to deal with Jealousy

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There are actually more reasons for being jealous than a person might think. Do you ever feel very possessive but then when you think about the situation, you realize that there maybe isn’t much to worry about? Or have you noticed this trait in yourself throughout all of your romantic relationships? Is your jealousy warranted or does it stem from a deeper rooted issue?

In this article we will explore where your feelings of jealousy stem from, what to do about them, and how to make them subside. This is one of the most common emotions that people feel, and it can pop up in all aspects of life. Do you have a real reason to be jealous, or is it a bad habit that’s driving you nuts? Do you know what the key to overcoming it is? Keep on reading and you’ll learn all about how to deal with jealousy.

Why do I feel so jealous?

Sometimes you are jealous in a relationship because your partner seems to be getting close to another person. Sometimes it’s because other people are very interested in your partner. At work, you might feel jealous because someone is clearly the boss’s favorite and you don’t feel like it’s fair. And then other times you catch yourself feeling jealous and possessive but you don’t quite know why the feeling is so intense. Luckily, there are many ways to deal with jealousy.

The first thing to do of course is to assess the situation. Evaluate your relationship. Does you partner make you feel secure in the relationship? Is there trust and honesty between you two? Do you two feel comfortable in talking to one another about serious subjects? Does your partner easily share with you and are you sincere with one another? Most feelings of jealousy are rooted in fear.

The next step is to assess yourself. Think about your own past and whether it could be linked to these feelings. Have you been cheated on before? People that have experienced heartbreak as a result of their partner’s infidelity sometimes take a while to trust again. It can lead to lower self esteem and mistrust of their current partner.

Speaking of self-esteem, when you’re feeling very confident, do you still feel jealous? If you do, take a look at the situation and determine whether there are “red flags” that are making it hard for you to trust your partner.

A lot of people compare themselves to others and it makes them feel insecure. If you’re feeling this way, take some time to focus on your best qualities. Remind yourself of why you’re so special. You could even write it down. You don’t even have to keep the paper if you don’t want to, but just the act of writing down positive things about yourself can make you feel considerably better.

Don’t believe me? Try it!

What about your family background? Did you grow up in a family in which you received enough attention? Where your parents reliable?

All of these factors can play a role in why a person might feel jealous. It will take putting things into perspective if you want to fully understand why you’re feeling this way. It’s the first step towards dealing with jealousy and overcoming it!

My partner is making me jealous

Now if your partner is doing things that are clearly related to your jealousy, it’s time to talk to them about it. In a healthy relationship the two partners make one another feel secure. If your significant other is not doing this for you, you have to communicate with them about what you’re feeling in the relationship.

Sometimes a partner doesn’t realize that what they’re doing could make you so uncomfortable, so it’s important to make sure they understand. Be calm about your approach. If it gets you really worked up, take some time to center yourself, and then share your feelings with your partner after you’ve calmed down.

Don’t play games, and don’t try to make your partner jealous too. There’s no point to this and it can easily spiral out of control. Remember; if there’s an issue in the relationship, the keys are communication and honesty.

How to deal with jealousy

If you feel like there is a tangible, concrete reason behind your feelings of jealousy towards your partner, as I mentioned above, you two need to talk about it. Work on nurturing trust in your relationship.

Sometimes a person’s imagination can run wild. They can start imagining their partner in scenarios and they can get really upset thinking about something that’s not even happening! People daydream, and their thoughts get carried away. So, the next time you notice this happening, turn it to your advantage.

Try to create positive daydreams. Imagine your partner in situations that make you feel good! Use your imagination to make you feel better… not worse.

Start practicing awareness. Think about what the reality is, and what the current situation is. Focus on positive moments.

Another useful tip is to actually name your jealousy. Acknowledge it, because in doing so, it will become less powerful. If you say out loud, “I’m jealous of…” it will lose its intensity and you’re no longer embarrassed by it.

Is it ok to be jealous?

To be perfectly honest, a small amount of jealousy isn’t terrible. The key word is small… A little bit of it can actually serve as a nice little ego boost for your partner.

Imagine that you see some other interesting person chatting with your significant other. If you go over and say hi, your partner could take it as you being proud to be their partner and you want it to be known. You have to be careful though…. It’s a delicate thing and you never want to take it too far.

Jealousy becomes a problem when it starts creating tension between two people and when it begins to affect the trust in a relationship.

Work on figuring out the root of the issue, determine whether or not there is an actual problem, and then you will know how to proceed. Remember the importance of trust and security in a relationship, and both you and your partner need to make an effort to make the other feel safe.

If you feel that your possessiveness is stemming from something your partner is doing, you’ve got to discuss it with them openly. The more you let something simmer inside, the harder it will be to talk about while remaining calm.

Jealousy can tear a relationship apart so it’s crucial to nip it in the butt as early as possible. It’s a normal feeling that everyone feels at some point in their life, but that doesn’t mean that you should give it any power over you.

Wishing you all the best,

Your coach for dealing with jealousy

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