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Alexandre Cormont

Finding the one

What does he want if he sticks around but won’t commit?

what men want

In today’s day and age, many people are more prone to trying to keep their options open than to settle down and commit to one person. We live in a culture that promotes casual dating with no strings attached, and if you’re someone who wants real love, you’ve probably found that it’s often harder to find than you thought.

You’ve got your eye on a special someone, but you catch yourself thinking, “What does he want” relatively often. Perhaps you’ve already started dating, or maybe you’ve developed feelings for someone that you haven’t started dating yet. The problem is that he’s sending you mixed signals and you’re not sure if he wants to be with you or not!

This can be extremely frustrating, especially when you know that you’re willing to commit to him! You don’t want to be toyed with, and you most certainly don’t want to be wasting your time. You might also be wondering how you can make him want to be in a relationship with you… fortunately, you’ve come to the right place! You’re going to find the answers to all of these questions and more right here in this article.

Why is it so hard to tell if he wants you right now?

There are so many reasons behind why a person might be hot and cold towards you. Oftentimes it’s simply because he doesn’t know what he wants. He has feelings for you, yes, but at the same time he likes his independence. He likes to know that he’s got the freedom to keep his options open so should he desire, but it becomes extremely frustrating for you.

I often have clients come to me asking, “Does he want me or not” because it is clear that the guy they’re interested in has feelings for them, but when it comes down to commitment, he’s running in the opposite direction. They often ask me if it’s them personally, and if they’re doing something wrong. There is generally one recurring mistake that I see, but sometimes the guy just wants to have his cake and eat it too.

What’s more, people today are less focused on the beauty of a committed relationship and are attracted to the freedom that comes with remaining a bachelor. We are all human beings though, so they gravitate towards the feeling of being wanted but pull away from the responsibility of a relationship. This leaves you in a tough situation because you’re thinking, “Does he want me or is he just into the chase?”

Truth be told, sometimes it’s not just about the chase. Yes, in the majority of cases a guy who can’t commit will be keeping his options open because he likes his freedom, but there are also some that genuinely feel something strong for you but aren’t confident in what they can offer you as a partner. Instead of committing, they keep their distance because they don’t want to potentially hurt you.

I remember receiving an email from one of my clients, Sabrina, who had a tricky situation.

She asked me, “Alex, what does this guy want from me? We’ve become very close and everyone says that they can see the chemistry between us from a mile away. We’re like two peas in a pod… Not to mention the fact that sometimes we sleep together as well. It feels deeper than friendship, and I definitely don’t want to be friends with benefits, but he’s told me that he’s trying to figure some things out in his personal life right now. He tried dating a few girls recently but quickly realized that he wasn’t in the right head space and ended things before he hurt them too much. (…) Is he just giving me BS so that he can just play with me or do you think he’s being honest?”

In discussing the situation in more detail with Sabrina, I understood that this guy was being genuine. They had been close friends for many years, and he clearly cared about her deeply. He was struggling with self esteem issues and was deeply unhappy in his personal life, and he didn’t want to weigh her down. The problem of course was that he couldn’t help what he was feeling for her, and when a man wants you, it’s often hard for them to keep it secret.

He needed to work through whether or not he could be a partner to someone, and fortunately he is actively working on improving his life so that he can get to a better place. As I explained to Sabrina, you can only control your own actions and make sure that you’re making yourself happy! There are however various things that you can do in your own life if you want to inspire someone to want to commit to you!

What does he want: How to make him choose you

At one point or another, we’ve probably all been faced with someone who doesn’t know what they want. It becomes a frustrating game of push and pull and you end up feeling super frustrated. Unfortunately, you can’t control someone’s feelings, but you can inspire them to want to get closer to you!

How?

Well, people who are living fulfilling and fun lives attract others like moths to a flame. I know that you’re probably spending a lot of time thinking about how to tell what a guy wants from you, but my advice to you is to switch your focus to making your life irresistible. If you really want someone to fall for you, you have to make sure that you’re putting your best foot forward and that you’re living your best life.

That means presenting yourself in the best light possible – hit the gym, eat healthy foods, try out salsa classes, go for hikes or walks on the beach. Pursue your personal and professional goals, allocate ample time to your hobbies, friends, and family, and fill up your schedule with activities that bring you joy!

We are always here to help, so please don’t hesitate to leave your question in the comments section below or get in touch with us directly here!

Wishing you all the best in life and love,

Your coach for knowing what he wants

Alex Cormont

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Saving your relationship

5 tips to know how to be in a Healthy Relationship

good relationship

Lauryn Hill sang, “It could all be so simple, but you’d rather make it hard,” on her hit song “Ex-Factor.” The line echoes with an act that a lot of us are guilty of: complicating our romantic relationships by taking the effort and maintenance required to foster a healthy relationship for granted. Many of us, particularly when we are young think that relationships are supposed to be easy. We’re under this false illusion that you just lay eyes on each other, fall in love, decide to be together, and that’s it!

And when things get hard, we take it as a sign that maybe this isn’t the right relationship or the right person for us and we quit instead of putting our best foot forward. This type of attitude is akin to planting a seed, allowing the flower to bloom, and letting it wither and die. The key towards knowing how to be in a healthy relationship is recognizing that they require work.

There are no shortcuts. Also, this effort cannot be a one-time, one-and-done type of thing. It requires long-term, sustained attention. The key is breaking it down in chunks and doing a little everyday so that it pays dividends in the end. If you’re looking to learn how to be in a healthy relationship and maintain a never-ending, concerted effort, we cover the why’s, do’s and don’ts below.

How to be in a healthy relationship : why it’s important

There’s really no point in not being in a healthy relationship. Sure, one could come up with bogus reasons to justify it, like not wanting to be alone, proving to your friends and family you can have a boyfriend/girlfriend and have a relationship (regardless of the quality), having someone to have consistent sex with, etc. etc. However, at the end of the day, one must accept the outcomes of tolerating a subpar relationship once it ends, and when it dies, the only victims are either the relationship itself, or you. Surely, no one wants that, unless they’re a masochist.

And if you’re doing it to just pass the time until something or someone better comes along, then you’re literally just wasting time, yours and that of your current partner, and you will eventually tell yourself, “I want a healthy relationship.” So in that sense, not having a healthy relationship is just a waste of your time and your energy. And all for what? Because you didn’t feel like making an effort?

There are more pros than cons to being in a healthy relationship. All that is required is minimal, daily effort. Also, the wonderful thing about relationship is that when you give to it, provided you’re with the right person, it gives back. You learn to be selfless and care about things more important than yourself, which becomes important when deciding to have and raise children.

Fostering a healthy relationship and a healthy dynamic also adds longevity, joy and meaning to your life. It’s been scientifically proven that these type of societal bonds – the ones that we choose to be in, as opposed to the ones we are born into – help us live longer lives, reduce stress, and improve overall mental, emotional, and physical health through the enjoyable experiences and bonds we create with our romantic partner.

The more you practice being in a healthy relationship, the more you learn about yourself, and what you expect out of yourself, your partner, and life in general. Healthy relationships simply teach you how to be a better, well-rounded individual, by teaching you kindness, selflessness and allowing you to practice giving and receiving love.

If you happen to be lucky enough to have your boyfriend or girlfriend want to stick around for the long run, then you’ve successfully avoided the risk of ending up old and alone. But if none of this resonates with you, then just do it for the sex… all the consistent, unlimited sex you will be having with someone you love and are extremely attracted to! If there’s ever a reason to motivate you to say, “I want a healthy relationship,” this would be it!

Good healthy relationship : Do not believe Hollywood !

But I can’t blame people for not knowing how to be in a healthy relationship or having misguided or unreasonable expectations of what it means to build a healthy relationship. In the age of unlimited, unrestricted, unfettered mass media, Hollywood, advertisers, and the entire media-industrial complex has their grubby fingers keeping us plugged into “The Matrix,” preventing us from learning for ourselves how to have a normal relationship.

Don’t believe everything that Hollywood places in front of you! The TV and movie industries don’t care about the societal ramifications of the stories they tell, the images the create, the pictures they paint, or the expectations they place on us. All they care about is MONEY and not what should a healthy relationship be like. And they will sell you anything to acquire it.

Art – from film to music to literature – can be created and interpreted in many different ways. With so much content created, there are many mixed messages that fall under the most general themes of love and relationships portrayed by Hollywood. But these stories are usually told, either, by a man, or from a man’s perspective. Hollywood and media companies in general are run by men, creatures whose driving force is, for the most part, sex, not how to be in a healthy relationship. Sex sells. Drama sells. Conflict sells.

How to have a normal relationship doesn’t sell as much. are we to know what a healthy relationship looks like when these are the things Hollywood prioritizes to sell us, while at the same time dumbing down or ignoring the nuances of relationships, their ups and downs, the in betweens, and how you go from bad to good.

It’s not the survival of the defining moments that prove what should a healthy relationship be like. It’s the daily expressions of genuine affection, care, and well-being and the commitment to work through issues before quitting that make for a healthy relationship. But if you don’t believe me, you are going to have to find out for yourself with your own relationship, regardless of what you watch on TV or read on the internet.

What makes a healthy relationship : 5 tips from a professional

When we coach clients, we give them the tools they need to rebuild a healthy relationship with themselves, as well as show them what a healthy relationship is. Part of our coaching also includes tips on how to STAY together happily, towards building a healthy relationship. Here are just five tips that will set the foundations for that healthy relationship you’ve always wanted:

1/ Communication is the key !

Praise each other through expressions of attraction, appreciation, gratitude, engagement, and encouragement. It doesn’t require moving Heaven and Earth to tell your significant other that dinner was delicious, or that the new haircut is a good look, or that their time at the gym is starting to pay off, or that you love the way they smell particularly good that day.

It doesn’t stop the day in its tracks to tell your lover “Thank you” for that time you were having a really hard day and he or she listened to your woes. And it doesn’t take much to walk up to your boyfriend or girlfriend, give them a kiss and a squeeze, and say “I love you.”

2/ Think about your partner to be in a healthy relathionship

Empty out the dishwasher before the chef gets home to make something for dinner. Pick up some flowers or a bottle of wine before one of you accuses the other of slacking on the romance. Call the mother-in-law before she gets a chance to say how you don’t value the relationship. Plan a date before she asks you to.

Preemptive strikes are a sure fire way to keep your boyfriend or girlfriend happy  and show them that you’re always thinking about what they want or need. They don’t even have to ask.

3/ You need to talk but you also need to listen !

This should be obvious, but… Listen, Listen, Listen. What’s a healthy relationship if you can’t effectively listen to each other? And do not interrupt just because you think whatever you have to say is more important than what your boyfriend or girlfriend is saying.

If you’re going to interrupt, make sure its just to clear up any confusion because you mixed up some facts of the story. At least it’ll show that you’re listening. Conversely, don’t blab on and on either. Remember that it’s a two way street.

4/ You have to respect his/hers decision

Do not coddle or infantilize the person with whom you’re in a relationship. Remember that they are their own person and just because they are with you, it doesn’t mean they have to be like you, do the things you would do, or think how you think.

When we care deeply about someone, we do anything in our power to protect them and keep them safe. But, we have to remember that their decision making processes aren’t ours. And we can’t forget her or she is still his or her own person, even if they are in a relationship with you.

5/ Talk about your problems

Always remember to keep the shelf clean. Having a healthy relationshipis not letting the junk pertaining to your relationship accumulate because you got too lazy to address it and put it away. If you have a fight, try not to go to bed angry. If you have a disagreement, settle it as soon as possible.

If there’s an opportunity for either one of you to realize you have the emotional maturity to say, “I can let this go” then just move on. Remember to never keep things inside, don’t let animosity sit on your shelf festering away at your relationship. Remember to keep the shelf clean.

You would only be doing your boyfriend or girlfriend and yourself a favor by encouraging and fostering a healthy relationship. Why do something if you’re not going to be 100% in? A healthy relationship is the only one worth having. They allow you and your partner to grow together into this unit you two have created.

And when you and your partner show off your healthy relationship, you will serve as an example for your peers. Whenever they go through relationship issues, they will come to you for advice on how to handle it. In the long run, you will also be serving as an example for your children so they themselves will know what’s a healthy relationship.

 

Your Love Epert

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Saving your relationship

I am not happy in my relationship ! How to react ?

unhappy relationship

If you admit to yourself, I am not happy in my relationship, I want you not to worry. I’m here to tell you that this is perfectly normal. It happens to everyone at some point or another. It’s an interesting thing what’s happened in the advent of media. I’m not saying this is a bad thing or trying to get regressive. But, we as a society have focused on the relatively few examples of relationships shown to us in movies, tv, literature, etc. and forgotten about the rest – the real life stories, our very own stories.

We have forgotten that these are just plays of fiction. They are, as I said before, simply examples and not the standard. Even though we mostly see “happily ever afters,” they never go into what happens after the end of the move – unless there’s a sequel, of course.

One of those people or couples we see on the screen are bound to tell themselves, “I’m not happy in my relationship” because the fact is that life gets in the way. That’s not to say that if you are in a relationship, you are bound to be unsatisfied with it. What I’m here to do is offer words of encouragement and tell you to not single your relationship out as bad, dysfunctional, and not worth saving because you’re admitting that you are not happy in your couple.

Why am i not happy in a relationship : 3 things you need to know

When you are not happy in a relationship, a logical, and probably obvious, reason is that your needs, desires, and expectations from the relationship are not being met. Your significant other is being neglectful of the duties in the relationship, or of doing the necessary things to make and keep you happy. At best, he or she is ignorant and oblivious to this, and the issue can be solved with a productive conversation on the matter.

At worst, they are totally aware of your dissatisfaction and do not care, regardless of whether its a conscious or subconscious neglect. Neglect, in fact, is one of the two overarching, direct reasons why relationships fail. In any case, approaching this problem is going to require an examination of either your expectations from a relationship, or an examination on whether your partner can meet those expectations.

The second, more immediate reason people are not happy in a relationship is because they feel smothered by their partner. This can be viewed as the opposite of neglect – when you are too attentive. Now, this may sound counterintuitive to a lot of you, but I would bet that those of you who are asking yourselves, “Why am I so miserable in my relationship?” are probably the ones who are with a partner who is, as they say, “good on paper.” They are loving, affectionate, doting, and have all the qualities a person would want in a boyfriend or girlfriend.

But, the shower you with all their love and affection. They probably do most, if not all, of everything you say. They follow what it is you want to do, and they never put up a fight or an argument. If this sounds like you, it makes sense that you feel like this because people want a relationship, not a pet. Am I right?

I also want to warn you about a common reason for unhappiness in a relationship, that people usually don’t realize until they talk it out with a friend, loved one, or relationship coach. Men are more guilty of this than women, more often than not, and it deals with you taking the frustration of your own shortcomings out on the relationship and your partner.

It is virtually fact that if a man is having a hard time in his work-life, finding his true calling or a job he likes, isn’t earning as much as he would like, or any other job related woes, he is bound to take it out on his partner. This can put a particularly rough strain on the relationship because it’s difficult to discern how to tell if you’re not happy in a relationship, or if its the rest of your life that’s making you unhappy.

I am not happy with my relationship should I tell my partner ?

Honesty is the best policy for any relationship. But, there is such a thing as too much honesty, or being too honest. This is where admitting to your partner, “I am not happy in my relationship,” can go awry. You need to be clear on the nature of your unhappiness and be aware of how long you have truly been unhappy for.

It’s unfair to sit your partner down and have an in depth discussion about your relationship because they annoyed you earlier, or because they did something to tick you off that they usually never do. Conversely, you should speak to your partner if they are engaging in repeated behavior that had been previously addressed, and not doing anything to change.

So if push comes to shove, and you need to have that fateful conversation, try to pick the appropriate time to bring it up, or at least alert them to it. Don’t ruin your partner’s morning, and possibly the rest of their day, but telling him or her I’m not happy in my relationship before they go to work.

The same applies for telling them in the middle of the day. I also recommend not telling them you’re unhappy right before either of you goes to bed to avoid the possibility of getting sucked in to a serious discussion and staying up all night mentally and emotionally stressed, setting yourself for a bad day the next day.

If you are unhappy in relationship but love him or her then it won’t kill you to be a bit considerate. Be strategic in your approach and do not bring up this sore subject during important periods of your partner’s life. If your partner is working on an important project at work or has a professional milestone coming up, do not drop this potentially huge bomb on them.

Don’t make their emotional worse than it already is if they are going through a rough time with a friend or family member. For example, it would be a terrible time to tell your partner that you’re unhappy in your relationship during their grandmother’s funeral. On the opposite end of the spectrum, do not believe that the best time for alerting them of your unhappiness would be when they are in a good mood.

Their pre-existing state of jubilation doesn’t soften the blow, it only ruins it. And whatever you do, do it in private, and absolutely not in front of friends or family, unless you welcome judgment on your love life.

I am not happy in my relationship : Think before breaking up !

If you’re unsure of what to do in an unhappy relationship, I can first and foremost, clearly tell you to NOT BREAK UP. Talk about it first! Tell your partner what particular aspect of the relationship is making you unhappy, instead of telling them the entire relationship is not up to your standards, without any concrete examples. Is it lack of praise? Lack of attention to detail? Lack of sex? Are they around too much? Do you not have your own separate lives? Be honest, but be tactful. There’s no need to unnecessarily hurt your partner’s feelings.

Also remember that telling your partner that you’re not happy in relationship is not a blame game. So do not engage in finger pointing. It isn’t productive in the least bit unless its to demonstrate specific behavior that you want and need stopped.

It’s important that you avoid being intellectually and emotionally lazy by taking the easy route of blurting out your feelings with no solution behind them. A discussion, not an argumentative debate, with an end goal of solving a problem is the first step towards fixing the problem of being in an unhappy relationship. It isn’t about shaming the other person into showing them how much of a crappy boyfriend or girlfriend they have been. It’s about being an adult and taking action towards improving a situation.

Whatever the case may be in your own personal relationship that’s causing you to say I am not happy in my relationship, you’re going to need a bit of mental toughness in order to help the relationship survive.

And this goes for everyone. We all have fears and doubts about the most important matters and relationships in our lives. It’s normal. But, our partners look to us for security and comfort, just in the same way that we seek it from them.

And this comfort and security must be reciprocated in order to have a happy and healthy relationship. This sense of security isn’t based on the happiness level of the relationship for its own sake. It’s based on the level of commitment we are willing to exercise and demonstrate to our partner that we are not just going to end things or run away when things get hard, and instead are going to choose to work with our partner in order to solve a common hurdle in all relationships.

 

Your love expert

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Finding the one

She doesn’t love me

is she loves me

After a breakup, we can’t help but wonder, “how did I get here?” One minute, things seemed great, and the next minute, the woman of your dreams has exited your life, stage left. You wonder what drove her away; you wonder if she still loves you.

If you can relate to the above paragraph, and are currently asking yourself “why doesn’t she love me”, than this article is for you.

In this article, I’m going to address what is making you feel like ‘she doesn’t love me’, a few tips to identify whether or not she in fact doesn’t love you, and how you can improve your chances of getting her to love you back (or love you again).

5 tips to know that doesn’t love you

Understanding women is really tough, especially when it comes to determining whether or not they love you. Therefore, I wanted to put a few tips together to help you identify if the woman of your eye is viewing you as the man of hers, or if they don’t love you.

  1. One good tip to consider when trying to know if she doesn’t love you is if she wants to stay friends. When a woman in your life, primarily one that you love but haven’t dated in the past, says she wants to be friends, it likely means that she hasn’t developed feelings for you.

For those of you in this position, I would recommend being her friend, and using that friendship to showcase the attractive elements about yourself. Remember, these elements aren’t just relating to physical aesthetic, and also deal with your character.

If, however, you previously dated and now she wants to be friends, then while her feelings for you are obviously changing a bit (as feelings often ebb and flow throughout a longterm relationship of any kind) there is an opportunity for you to kickstart her love back up again. More on this later.

  1. Another way to identify that she doesn’t love you is if she’s in a committed relationship with someone else. After a break up, rebounds happen. For many, leaping into a new relationship can sound better than grieving in isolation, and so many woman and men alike use this approach to cope.

However, there is usually a stage where this new rebound either fades away, or the rebound becomes serious.

If your ex really invests in this new relationship, and so it develops into something she values, then it’s likely that she’s fallen out of love with you. Determining whether or not your ex’s new relationship is a rebound or not is a really tricky endeavor, and so I really ask (if you can help it) that you avoid thinking about that and spending time assessing their situation.

My reason for mentioning this is because by focussing on them, you’re indirectly preventing yourself from healing, and growth is such a critical element in once ability to get their exes back. If you are one of the many readers trying to ultimately rekindle with your ex, then I really do recommend that you avoid keeping tabs on her and whoever else she’s spending her time with – it’ll only drive you insane and stop you from focussing on your own personal development.

  1. A third tip to know if she no longer loves you is if she refuses to reply to any sort of outreach. If she doesn’t reply to your texts, calls, social media messages, emails, etc than this is a sign that she’s not in love with you. This tip is tricky, because I am also a firm believer that just post breakup, her desire to avoid you is normal, there will be a point where it’s just an indicator that she doesn’t want you around her anymore.

An example of this tip is if it’s been several months after the breakup, and you send a casual message, and she’s still not responsive.

* Remember, if she isn’t responsive, it doesn’t mean you should try harder. On the contrary! If she’s not replying to you, you shouldn’t be reaching out. It means she needs more time.

  1. If she’s telling her closest friends that she doesn’t love you, it likely means she doesn’t.

Women as a sex love to congregate with one another, and share intimate ideas and feelings. This being the case – the things they communicate to their dearest friends is likely an accurate depiction of what’s going on inside their heads.

If your woman of interest is telling her best friends that she’s not in love with you, then it’s something to take into consideration when trying to decide whether or not she loves you.

  1. A final way to know if she doesn’t love you is if she’s asking you advice about other people that she’s expressing interest in. If spending time with her turns into you giving her love advice, than chances are that she’s not viewing you as a partner in the long-run.

If the above situation is happening with you, here’s my advice : don’t make it a big deal. If she asks you for love advice, I invite you to passively give it to her and then change the subject. After the encounter, go home and strategize on how you can attract her. If you immediately freak out and tell her you don’t like it, she will likely become less attracted to you. Remember, if she’s telling you about someone else, it’s likely because she doesn’t know it’s hurting you!

She doesn’t love me but I love her : how can I change that

If you feel like she doesn’t love you, don’t feel discouraged, as there are multiple ways to learn how to seduce a woman, and how to be loved by a woman in interest for you.

When it comes to “how to make her love me?”, the first thing to consider is what she likes. What is her ideal partner? Are you this person? If you aren’t, WHY?

In order to attract her, you must learn how she thinks. This holds true for any partner that you’re interested in. You can’t trick someone into loving you, but can you show them that you’re the person they should be loving!

  1. To start, confidence is a huge point of attraction for women. It is likely that she will be more attracted to a person who is confident instead of a person who is timid or insecure. Therefore, when you spend time with her, make sure to show her your confident self!
  1. Just like anyone, women are really attracted to FUN! So, when you’re talking with her, spending time with her, or even wondering what to post on social media to get her attention – anything that is FUN will work. At the end of the day, everyone is excited by a fun person, and people gravitate toward fun people! Why? Because who doesn’t want to have fun!

When thinking of where to take her to attract her, make sure to keep fun in mind! It works, trust me.

  1. A final tip on how to make her love you is by illustrating a similarly between your common life goals. What I mean by this is: women are attracted to people who enjoy similar things, have similar goals or objectives, and carry similar values. So, if you want her to consider you as a long-term partner, always remember to showcase that you two carry common life goals. This will show her that you’re someone she will enjoy spending time with for a long time, and not just right now.

Why my girlfriend doesn’t love me anymore ?

If your girlfriend doesn’t love you anymore, don’t lose hope. I invite you to take a look at the above paragraph, and use those time as a guideline on how to light the spark of your relationship again.

Just because your girlfriend doesn’t love you, doesn’t mean she can’t again. It’s very normal (despite what the movies show) for relationships to go through rough patches. If you’re in one, its OK, just get out of it. You can do so by following tips like having fun and being confident. Try this consistently for a couple of months, and see where it takes you.

If you’ve read this article, and are still telling yourself, “she doesn’t love me anything” and “there’s no hope for my situation”, I invite you to leave a comment for us to review.

We want to help you achieve your goals and spend time with the woman you love most. We’re firm believers in the potential of change and growth in love, and we’d love to support you in whatever is happening in your life.

No matter the issue, make sure not to rush the process. Love is a marathon.

Coach Nat

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Getting back with your ex

My ex wants to be friends!

stay friends with ex

How familiar are you with the following scenario: You’re in a semi long-term committed relationship with someone… and then you break up. If you’re the one ending the relationship, you might feel guilty. On the other hand, if you’re the one being broken-up with, you feel caught off guard, maybe slighted, and possibly hurt and betrayed. And to lighten the blow, you or you’re newfound ex states that they want to be friends. END SCENE.

So you’re down one romantic, sexual relationship. But hey! You gained a friend! A friend that you’ve shared a certain kind of intimacy with, who you’ve seen naked, who told you things they never told anyone else before, who you took on romantic dates, for whom you bought gifts and presents that represented a bond more special than your other relationships… starting to sound messy, right?

Accomplishing the mental and emotional switch from romantic partner to platonic friend can be complicated at best, and problematic at worst. Humans are creatures of habit. And breaking a habit, whether it be mental, physical, or emotional (in this case all three) requires a lot of energy, focus, and dedication. So at the end of the day, will all this effort even be worth it if your ex wants to be friends?

Why does my ex want to be friends?

We must first examine intentions behind exs wanting to be friends post-break up, and these can run the gamut. Maybe the person being broken up with isn’t ready to completely let go and thinks the only way a rekindling is possible is if they stay in the picture, even if it’s in the peripheries. Maybe the heartbreaker in this scenario has no intention of following through with their offer of friendship and is only trying to prevent being witness to tears of heartache. Maybe one or the other isn’t ready to fully commit to a monogamous, two-person relationship and just wants the ex to be readily available when he or she is ready to settle down.

Who knows? It all comes down to how honest and open a person wants to be with their needs and wants.

Whatever the reason, the intention – whether it be morally honest, or morally dubious – will be the most important factor in determining whether being friends with your ex is a good or a bad idea. Other factors come into play as well. For example, a study once found that women take it hardest at the beginning but have an easier time getting over guys in the long term, while the reverse is true for men as they experience less hurt at the onset of a break up, but never fully recover from it.

So, men! Don’t be surprised if you find yourself having stronger feelings for her than she does for you after you’re well down the path of friendship. If you happen to find yourself in a situation like this, it may make you think twice about continuing a friendship with your ex. But, again, this is only one example.

My ex wants to be friends: Pros & Cons

So let’s do the math. What’s are the up and down-sides to be friends with your ex? I like to cover the cons first to get the negative out of the way.

Cons when my ex wants to stay friends

  • Without a certain required level of maturity, continuous contact and interaction with your ex may not allow you to move on healthily from them and the relationship
  • Future significant others may not be comfortable with this friendship and doubt whether either of you is truly over the other – especially if the friendship is successful
  • The adjustment period may be difficult and painful as both parties come to terms with the new realities of this arrangement
  • You may not know if you are truly over your ex until they start dating someone else – which would be totally in their right since you are “just friends”. This might blindside you with feelings

Pros when your ex wants to be friends

  • Emotional growth and resiliency. If you can healthily and successfully accomplish this, it will validate your maturity and ability to have perspective on a complicated matter
  • You’ll have a friend with whom you are exceptionally close with and can vouch for you with other potential mates.
  • If you see yourself being romantically involved again with your “friend” in the future, keeping them close will help you insure this happens, and probably bring you closer on a deeper level
  • Side-stepping negative sentiments and feelings from an ended relationship. You can’t be friends with someone you dislike or feel unkindly towards. A decision to move forward as friends shows that there are genuinely no hard-feelings or animus between the two of you

The above are just some quick, general, off-the-cuff points to consider when making your list of pros and cons. Some of the above may apply to you. Some may not. And there also might be some points that are more specific to your unique situation.

The above are just some quick, general, off-the-cuff points to consider when making your list of pros and cons. Some of the above may apply to you. Some may not. And there also might be some points that are more specific to your unique situation.

My Ex Wants to Stay Friends: How can we do this healthily?

All this is easier said than done, of course. It might not be as easy as one would think for you to look this person with whom you shared all this intimacy in the eyes and pull the “Let’s-be-friends” trigger. For some, this could work in theory, but not in practice. However, it is not impossible! So here are a few do’s and don’ts.

  • Do not get involved in each other’s new romantic relationships. If you do talk about it, say only positive things and do not ask each other for or give each other advice if either one of you is experiencing a problem in your relationship because it would be based off your mutual romantic history
  • Keep your jealousy in check… if it does surface.
  • Make sure you two are perfectly clear and on the same page about how you feel towards one another. Honesty doesn’t change because you’re now friends instead of lovers
  • Do not compare yourself to your ex’s new significant other
  • Do not bring up your past romantic relationship unless used as an example to illustrate an unrelated point
  • Do not assume you are more important than anyone else in your ex’s life simply because you two shared a romantic history
  • Do not treat your ex any more special than you treat your best friends

My Ex Wants to Be Friends, But I Want More!

Being friends with your ex is not for everyone. You need a certain amount of audacity and bravery to consider and attempt such an arrangement. One may not be able to achieve this type of relationship with an ex-lover because it is too painful, or may not have the necessary temperament, et cetera. Whatever it may be, the truth is that if you want your ex back, fulfilling that positive role in her life – for which there is no better term than “friend” – is your best option towards reuniting as lovers.

Be honest with your ex. Let them know how you truly feel. I’m not saying to lay it on thick. Just make him or her aware. No one likes to be blindsided or caught by surprise. However, you have to respect their feelings and wishes too, and vice versa, if there is no reciprocation. You also have to respect yourself and your dignity. Don’t grovel. Don’t act on impulse. Don’t be immature. Don’t be petty. Be better. Be your best self. Be a good friend. Be fun. Be entertaining. Be trustworthy. Be dependable. And be an even better and brighter possibility for him or her.

There’s a reason why all  the best romantic relationships started off as friends. Keep that in mind.

Your Coach

Steven

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Getting back with your ex

My Ex Blocked Me on Facebook!

ex blocked me

When you’re in a breakup, there’s a lot on your plate. All of a sudden, there are a lot of things to resolve, which range from dividing possessions, moving into a new place, or figuring out how you’ll get to work. For many people, being blocked on Facebook is a fear to consider. As a relationship coach, more and more of my clients face the dreaded Block on Facebook, and immediately become determined to get unblocked and back in the lives of their exes.

In this article, I’ll discuss why your ex blocked you on Facebook, and what you can do to be unblocked on Facebook. Remember, when it comes to how to get unblocked, its all about the approach and it’s also a lot about timing. Don’t rush this process if you want it to work. Remember, this is the rest of your life! If you rush the process, you put rekindling the relationship in jeopardy.

If you’re trying to get unblocked on Facebook, you’ve come to the right page. This article is one of hundreds that we have available for you to dive into. I invite you to spend time after reading this browsing on our other posts, as they can help with any discomfort you may be feeling in your breakup. It’s nice to know that we aren’t alone in our feelings and that believe it or not, we can control them and position ourselves to get back with our exes!

Why my ex blocked me on facebook

When being blocked on facebook by your ex, the first thing to consider is what brought you here. How did you and your ex enter this toxic state in your relationship? Did it happen quickly? Slowly? Are you blocking and unblocking your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend often? Is this the first time? Or the 30th time?

It’s those who spend the time really identifying what brought them to this point who are most successful in turning it around.

In the majority of cases, your ex boyfriend or your ex girlfriend blocked you because they felt disrespected to some degree. Maybe you didn’t respect their wishes to give them the space they asked for? Maybe you were too demanding of their time and knowing what they’re up to online? Was trust in question here? Usually, it is.

I want to mention in this section that trust is really hard to get back – but it’s not impossible. You can recover from a broken sense of trust, but only if both people are willing to do so.

If trust is a key problem in your relationship, I invite you to look up active solutions toward getting it back. There are a variety of articles on this site geared toward how to rekindle the element of trust with an ex.

If you have having challenges in locating trust related articles or want to know if trust is the problem in your relationship, I invite you to leave a comment below because blocking an ex on facebook has always a meaning.

Ex blocked me on facebook : You can still get him or her back !

“Just because my ex blocked me on FaceBook, doesn’t mean that I can’t turn my situation around”

The above sentence is what I want you to be telling yourself as you focus on rekindling with your ex after being blocked. Why? Because confidence is critical and frankly, it’s the number one way to begin to turn your situation around.

Thousands of couples every day overcome social media related issues, and you can also be one of those people and those couples. The first step, though, is going to be to take a step back and forgive yourself and the relationship for all that’s happened to bring you and your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend up to this point.

I feel the majority of couples who salvage their relationship and unblock their partners have chosen to forgive their partners. For many, this can take time, and so I emphasize the importance of patience and self-love. This is how you’ll generally make someone unblock you.

In the next section, I’ll outline a few ways to get unblocked. The following tips have been determined after thousands of hours of coaching sessions with clients around the world.

My ex blocked my number and my Facebook : 3 steps to overcome that

If you’ve been blocked from Facebook, there are ways to get unblocked. As previously mentioned in this article, if you’re blocked on social media, that it’s likely because you overdid it. You disrespected your partner in a way that they are having difficulty forgiving, and that is why they proceeded with discontinuing your visibility into their lives.

In this section, I’m going to outline 3 tips to overcome being blocked on Facebook and other Social Media.

1. The first step to getting unblocked on Facebook and social media by your ex is to take a step away from the relationship. I know that this sounds counterintuitive, but your ex is angry and they need to take a breather. Needless to say, you could use some rest and a clear head. Right now, if you try to press your case to your ex, you’ll only frustrate them and prove to them that they should distance themselves further.

2. Step two in getting unblocked on Facebook and social media by your ex is to wait until you feel better before reaching out again. Remember, we need to keep our cool too, and be the role models for the tone of the conversation. If you approach them when you’re still in a state of desperation, you’re going to make the outreach turn into an episode. We don’t want this, on the contrary, we want to approach them when we are relaxed and level headed, which gives them the mental cue to respond calmly, too.

3. Step three in trying to get unblocked by your ex is to express a sense of empathy in regard to your behavior and how it made them feel. Your ex needs to know that you’re aware you crossed a line. If you can’t admit that, then the relationship is doomed to go through a similar situation again in the future. By understanding why they’re angry, you’ll be able to know where and how to modify your behavior next time. It’s important to remember that it’s not just about getting our exes back – it’s about keeping them.

I know that the above steps sound easier than they really are, but it’s for the betterment of your relationship. You want to give your partner and yourself the opportunity to have a loving and respectful relationship, which means that we need to approach the situation in a respectful and loving way.

If you have any questions about how the above information or the three steps to getting your ex to unblock you are relevant to your unique relationship, leave a comment! Let us know what you think. The goal of this content is to be conversational, and so I invite you to create a platform where you can engage with me and with one another. Happiness in love is all about encouragement, and we’re all here to support one another!

Wishing you the very best in all things pertaining to your relationship,

Coach Alex & Nath

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Finding the one

The confidence to seduce!

confidence seduction

When it comes to dating and cultivating intimate relationships, there’s nothing quite as important as the Art of Seduction. Seduction, in short, is one’s ability to become desirable to another person of their choice, with the goal of using that desirability to generate an intimate experience. Confidence is a key factor in the equation of seducing a man or seducing a woman, and so this article will delve into why this is important, how to improve your overall sense of confidence, and also how to target the type of confidence you want to exert and how that selection may influence the response you receive from a man or from a woman.

This article, like all the ones we write, is meant to be conversational, and so I invite everyone to comment beneath it, and express how the art of seduction and their self-confidence has positively or negatively influenced their relationship with a certain individual (or maybe multiple!).

Remember, all of these articles are for you, and so please let us know if you’re enjoying them, and what else you’d like for us to write content about. We hope you enjoy and Thank You for giving us purpose!

How to Get the Confidence to Seduce

When it comes to making seduction work effectively, theres really only one thing you need to have : Confidence. Confidence is an expression of self-assertiveness, and most people all over the world are tremendously drawn to this quality in a person. If you are reading this article and feel like you don’t carry much confidence, not to worry! Confidence in the art of seduction is something you can learn! The first step the becoming a new and improved person full of self-confidence is by trying. If you’re reading this article, you’re already doing just that and so, you’re on the right track.

Remember : if self-confidence is in the root of seduction, then your first goal in achieving it will be to acquire a stable state of self confidence and THEN trying to work on the seduction portion. Don’t rush this process if you want it to be authentic.

In the following section of this article, you’ll find five steps to gain confidence. These steps have been gathered after reviewing several years’ worth of data regarding the art of seduction.

Is Confidence different between a man and a woman?

A lot of clients ask us to explain the differences between how to express confidence with women and how to express confidence with men.

Believe it or not, there are usually a few differences between expressing confidence with women and expressing confidence with men. These differences, however, pertain more so to different or opposing value systems. Women and men with more traditional perspectives of relationships and societal responsibilities are more attracted to reflections of those values. For instance, for women who believe men are the heads of their household, they’ll be seduced more quickly when presenting empathy or interest in that situation or lifestyle.

Conversely, for many women, sharing the responsibilities with men and ensuring that both partners are in the work force, then values reflecting these interests of goals will be perceived as more attractive.

In short, it’s less about gender and more about values systems and common life goals when it comes to the confidence of and with women and the confidence of and with men.

I hope you found the steps listed in this article to be ones of value to you. Remember, the confidence of seduction isn’t a generic journey for everyone, it’s very personal and relative to your unique personality. Spend some time determining what will help boost your confidence in seduction and then work on it! Nothing great comes without effort, so don’t be afraid to give it your all.

Gaining Confidence to seduce in 5 steps

  1. Confidence can be achieved in a variety of ways, but it’s mostly generated when we finish something that we felt was challenging. In short, Confidence comes from accomplishment. When we are proud of ourselves, we have a feeling of ‘self-worth’, as we have just generated proof that we are capable of adding value to our lives and the lives of others. From running a 5K to excelling at a new hobby or in your career, the list of potential accomplishments are endless. This means that your chances to gain a sense of confidence are endless. Isn’t this excellent news?!

If you want to master the art of seduction, then start by taking advantage of the obstacles around you! Make a list of (5 – 10 things) of goals you want to hit. You should include a both short and long terms goals in this list, so you can start feeling great now, while building more things to feel great about for the future. Then, get crackin! Start ticking off what you listed, and watch how much better and excited you begin to feel.

The idea of hacking into your emotional database and triggering feelings of confidence is something our team refers to as “emotion hacking”. Hacking isn’t limited to confidence, as it can help you induce any feeling that you want. You know how sometimes, when you’re having a bad day, you turn everything around in your life to seem negative? This is the very same principle, but inverted!

  1. Once you’ve started to feel great and have a clear sense of self-confidence, it’s time to return to that element of seduction we had previously decided to store away. The introduction of seduction starts by speaking to the person who’s attention we seek, and showcasing our positivity and self-confidence. The person you are interested in will be attracted to your happy and assertive disposition, making it more likely for them to want to engage in more conversations with you!
  1. Make sure not to overdo your positivity. Remember, there is a difference between confidence and arrogance. The first is a virtue, and the other – a vice. You don’t want your love interest to feel you are so into yourself that you aren’t able to connect with others. Always make sure to ask them about their lives, too! This will keep the conversation fluid.

* If you feel like your conversation isn’t going too well, or like they aren’t responsive to your efforts, don’t worry. Retreat and retry at a later time.

  1. After the initial contact, try to engage in a conversation with this person a second time using this new and improved confidence based approach, whether it be in person or via text message. Toward the end of this conversation, try to confirm a face-to-face meeting where the two of you can chat alone! This doesn’t mean rushing to the backseat of your car, but rather going to grab coffee and take a walk, or a quick bite. This way, your partner or person of interest can feel you leading and taking control over the situation. This is the best way to showcase a confidence that attracts women and men alike.

* If you need help developing your plan for a first date, you’ve come to the right place. We help people all over the world with this exact challenge – the trick is to prevent your partner from feeling any sense of discomfort or boredom.We delve into this topic in a variety of articles, so please feel free to browse through our content after finishing this one!

  1. The final tip when it comes to how to seduce someone with confidence is expressing flirtation with them. This can be shown with positive and flirtatious body language and physical gestures such as touching them on the arm as they speak, or looking at them straight in the eye. Your partner will give you signs as to whether or not they’re enjoying this approach, so be mindful of these indicators. If you feel them step away or get defensive, discontinue the behavior temporarily and see if they warm back up again. This tip can be the tricky one, and so I invite you to consider seeking coaching from a professional if this is an area you want a specific game plan around. Certain tips will work best for YOU when it comes to how to boost your confidence with girls and boys. This will never be a one-size-fits all approach.

As previously mentioned in the introduction of this article, please feel free to include your thoughts on this article, and any others you may have come across of ours. We love the feedback and more importantly, we want to help. The more we know, the more we can guide and develop a tailored strategy around.

 

Thank you for reading!

 

Coach Nat

 

 

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Finding the one

How to text a man!

text guy

Communication between a man and a woman has always been challenging. Whether it be over the phone, face to face, or in a handwritten letter, women have spent decades trying to understand the best ways to communicate and speak with their male counterparts. Now, we rely on text messaging with my male partners just as much (if not more) as any other communication platform. Are you someone who has considered the following questions to be OK? : ’Have something on your mind? Why not shoot your boyfriend a text?’ ‘Are you too mad to speak in person, then send a text!’ If so, beware! You may be setting yourself up for trouble. In short, knowing how to text a man is a really important tool to get a guy to kiss you. Don’t worry, though, you’re in the right place.

In this article, we’re going to tap into how to text with a man and elaborate on the “do’s and don’ts” of general communication with what men like. We’ll also go over what to text about with a guy, and even mention five mistakes to avoid when it comes to how to text a man you like. For those of you looking to just find tips on how to text a hot guy, we’ll have you covered there, too!

Before I dive in, I want to mention that this article is meant to be interactive, and so I truly invite you to leave a comment sharing your own texting experiences. Whether it be a story gone right or a story gone wrong.

How to text men : What you need to know

1/ The first thing to consider when learning how to text guys is what to text about with a guy. To start, guys are generally less emotional than girls, and so it’ll be important to avoid infusing too much emotion. For example, if you’re texting a guy about something, and you want to express an opinion, try mentioning what you think rather than what you feel. In short, use your head rather than your heart. Now, this isn’t the case for all guys nor is it the case once you enter a serious relationship. However, when we’re trying to kickstart a relationship and we’re just getting to know a guy, avoiding the emotional ‘mumbo jumbo’, as men like to think of it, will really help them be less afraid to engage with you. If they feel you’re coming on too strong emotionally off the bat, they may be a bit more reluctant to engage or continue the conversation.

2/ Next, it’s important to generally let the man lead the conversation. This isn’t to say that they’re meant to do or wanting to do all the work, but when it comes to how to text guys, they like to take the initiative more often than not. I understand that it’s 2017 and women are able to take as much as the reigns over the communication as they want, but I’m also a believer in a general sense of instinct and instinctively, men like to pursue something that they want. If you want to engage, go ahead, but if they aren’t providing the responses or attention you’re looking for, then retreat. Don’t worry, we aren’t hiding forever, but when it comes to things to text boys, it’s important not to overwhelm them or impede on their space.

3/ An additional tip that’s important to consider when it comes to how to text is a guy is not to be needy. I know, sometimes not being needy can be hard. Why? Well, because we’ve put ourselves out there and we want to be acknowledged! However, just because we want to get validation from our male counterparts, doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll be attracted to our emotional advances. On the contrary, they’ll likely be far from into your neediness.
– Ways to tell if you’re needy:
1. You send him messages even when he’s not responding
2. Insist on speaking when he’s mentioned he’s unavailable
3. Demanding of his time
4. Express anger or anxiety when it takes him a while to reply

4/ On the flip side of neediness, there’s neglect. This is another critical tip to consider when texting with a guy : how to not make him feel unwanted. Remember, there’s a fine line between making him engage and work for it, and making him feel dumb for continuing to reach out. So, when it comes to how to text a man you like, don’t leave him hanging! It’s important that he feels like you’re interested. So, if you’re busy and it’ll take you a really long time to reply, that’s fine – but reply! If you feel he’s the needy one, then ask yourself whether or not thing man is the guy you want to be texting with.

5/ The final tip to take into consideration when learning how to tech a man you like is knowing what guys like to hear. It’s something I am asked all the time in one on one coaching sessions with clients : “What do guys like to hear when texting?”. The answer it simple, compliments. Men love to feel empowered, so throwing out a few compliments here and there can really be helpful when texting a man you like. If he picks a restaurant you’ve been to before that you really like, you can acknowledge his choice or taste. The same rule applies with a genre of film or general insight on a topic. If you like what he’s saying or where he’s going with an idea, don’t forget to tell him!

Remember, the situation you are in may be very unique, and so it’s important to note that the above tips may not be directly relative to you. Love is not a one-size-fits-all approach, and it should never be treated like one. Many of my clients believe that the rules in this are universally applicable, but in reality, there are so many things we need to consider when it comes to situations like texting a guy you like. If you are unsure about what to do or how texting a guy you’re interested in will affect you and your love life, then I encourage you to seek some relationship coaching. It comes in handy to get that third party opinion and needless to say, venting can sometimes be the best therapy out there. Do not ignore your chance of successfully launching or maintaining your relationship while also feeling peace of mind. It can really make all the difference.

What to text about with a guy

When it comes to what to text about with a guy, it’s important to reflect on why you’re texting in the first place. Do you want this relationship to be the one you spend your life focusing on? Is this someone you envision yourself with long time? Are you just trying to text a hot guy and not expecting much? When you’re able to really identify what your motives are, you’ll be able to navigate through the waters of texting that much easier and more clearly.

If you’re trying to learn how to text a hot guy, I’m going to say that confidence is most important. Chances are, if you’re trying to text a hot guy, he knows he’s hot, and may likely have other women trying to get his attention. Therefore, confidence is going to be critical. It’s one of the sexiest characteristics out there. Even if you’re second guessing yourself on the inside, make sure not to communicate that in the text messages. This point relates to the above tip about implementing emotions into the dialogue. Just don’t do it!

I can’t mention texting a hot guy without taking a moment to emphasize that looks really (and I mean really!) don’t mean anything when it comes to developing a long term relationship. Sure, being physically attracted to someone is really important, but it will only matter if there’s more to it. If you aren’t fundamentally compatible and you’re wanting to know how to text a hot guy because it’s an ego-driven conquest, then make sure you’re walking into the situation without too high of expectations. I do not say this because you’re likely to put yourself in a position to get rejected, but more so because beneath that pretty or hot face is more important, and you may find yourself disappointed in the end if you only chased that face and not what’s behind it.

I hope that, overall, this article prepared you with necessary tools to consider when it comes to texting a guy you like or how to text and man you’re wanting to get to know or maintain a relationship with. Please know that no matter the situation, you can handle it well when you’re prepared. Reading this article puts you ahead of the curve, and so I commend you.

If you have any questions at all about the above content or to seduce a man, please feel free to leave a comment below. Or, if you have a text story or question you’d like to share or discuss, I also invite you to leave a comment below. This information is for you and I want to make sure it’s worth your while.
Wishing you the best always,

Coach Natalie

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Getting back with your ex

7 Signs your ex still loves you!

signs ex loves you

When you’re in a breakup, you can’t help but wonder if there are any signs to know whether or not your ex still loves you. This curiosity is natural, so please don’t second guess your strength just because you’re wondering what your ex is feeling or if there are signs to let you know whether or not they still care.

If you are searching for how to know your ex still loves you, then you’ve come to the right place, because we can help.

I invite you to read this article and include your feedback. I want to connect with you – I want to guide you and I want you to feel very sure about the signs to know if your ex still loves you. This is my gift to you so that you are, consequently, able to gift yourself the joys of love – whether it be with an ex you’ve previously dated or even with someone brand new.

The advice in this article comes from thousands of one-on-one coaching sessions we’ve had with clients worldwide. Therefore, these tips and tools are proven and have helped clients and people just like you yield the results they’ve wanted in love.

I hope you enjoy what you read and find it useful.

How to tell if your ex still loves you : the mistakes you shouldn’t make

There are countless ways to tell if your ex still loves you. I will introduce and discuss 5 of these ways in this article. Please be mindful of the fact that each and every relationship is relative and that rekindling is not a “one size fits all” approach. Make sure to take a moment to determine how applicable each or every one of these signs is to your unique relationship and all its intricacies.

1.Social Media – As a relationship coach, I can’t stress the powers of social media (if you are already an active user) enough. My clients often ask me to help them decipher what it means when their ex’s still check their SnapChat stories, or like their Instagram pictures. And, my response is one you’ll like to hear, because it definitely means that your ex still loves you. Why? Well, your ex is still curious about what you’re up to and how you’re spending your time. This is a great sign, because it shows that they still find a lot of value in your time and in your decisions. If your ex goes as far as liking one of your pictures, then it also may show that they want you to know how they feel about you and that you’re still on their mind and on their newsfeed. This is very significant, and really puts the ball in your court. Spend time reflecting on whether you’d like to engage, because you’ve just been given the green light!

2. Contact – If you’re ex has reached out to your since the breakup, then its safe to think that they still love you. In a breakup, when we are truly trying to move on, we will avoid speaking to our ex’s at all costs. Therefore, if your ex has tried to speak with you, or has contacted you since the breakup (for just about any reason!) then you’re in luck. Trust me! However, be mindful of how you go about replying, or if you should reply at all. Do not give them the opportunity to dictate when you can speak and what you cannot. However, this is a topic for another article!

3. Mutual Friends – If your ex is speaking to mutual friends about you or trying to discover your whereabouts, it can really mean that your ex still loves you. Similar to what is listed in the contact section : when our ex’s are trying to learn about what we’re doing, it’s because they still care and it’s because you’re still on their mind. In short, this is a really good way to know if your ex still loves you. This is really important for you to know, as it can give you the confidence that you need to reach out (in the right way!) if you want to get back together. Also, be mindful when it comes your what you share to mutual friends. It’s likely to assume that it will get back to your ex, so make sure that you’re sending the right message.

4. Completely Disappearing – Believe it or not, when a partner immediately flatlines from planet earth, it can really serve as a sign that your ex still loves you. This is because they’ve retreated into isolation and aren’t out trying to get over you. When we see our ex’s posting incessantly on social media, or hear about them out with friends, it can mean that they’re trying to really distract themselves from the breakup and move on. If they’ve disappeared, you may have affected them more than you think!

5. Radical Lifestyle Changes – If you are able (or have been sneakily snooping) to peer into your ex’s life, which realistically isn’t recommended for many of you in no contact (I will explain no contact in another article) or radio silence, you may see that they’ve radically changed their daily routine or general lifestyle. When we see our ex’s engage in such changes, it’s a surefire way to know how to see if your ex still loves you.

Your ex isn’t coping well with the breakup, and has sought out very unusual activities to fill the void of the separation. While this, on the one hand, can imply that your ex is trying to distract themselves and potentially move forward, it also means that they’re hung up on the breakup and that you are still on their minds. For obvious reasons, this is an excellent sign to show that your ex still loves you. With this sign, specifically, be mindful how to approach your ex, as their changes can likely impact who they are and how they treat other people.

why is this important to know the signs your ex still loves you ? 

When it comes to rekindling an old flame, nothing is more helpful than knowing the signs your ex still loves you. Why is this so important? Well, if you know your ex still loves you, you’ll be able to boost your confidence about reaching out, and being confident is so critical! When we question whether or not our ex’s like us, then our outreach may accidentally come off as needy or just generally very insecure. Our ex’s will not be attracted to this. On the contrary, this may push our partners further away, and if our ex did secretly have lingering love or feelings for us, we may be putting them in jeopardy.

When it comes to dealing with an ex and how to tell if your ex still likes you, you’ll be able to better position yourself and handle any encounter with them if you have received any of the signs listed above. It’s a way of guarantees that you aren’t going into the trenches blindly and without direction. I think anyone reading this article can agree that if you know your ex still loves you, any encounter with them will give you more confidence and self-assurance and will thereby go more smoothly.

However, if you aren’t sure how to tell if your ex still loves you or if you don’t feel the signs your ex still loves you are clear, that isn’t to imply you aren’t meant to reach out. Rather, you can reach out, but you’ll have to do so more delicately. We will be posting articles on this particular portion of rekindling in the future, so I invite you to tune into this website on a regular basis.

How to know if your ex still loves you 

Knowing the signs your ex still loves you really come in handy, and so I invite you to copy/paste the five bullet points we listed above to self as a self-coaching tool. Perhaps in the future you may be wondering, “what are the signs that your ex still loves you?” and then you’ll be able to refer to the listed information quickly. If not, feel free to save this link.

The reason it can be a good idea to have a key of signs to know if your ex still loves you is because it can self as a referencing tool. For many of you in a breakup, you haven’t seen any of the signs just yet, but by keeping this nearby, you’ll know how to identify them when you do. Then, when you see them, you will not do anything silly or embarrassing, and you’ll be able to coast through the waters of love with ease. By keeping these tools and our advice handy, you’re making love an open book test – which means you are VERY capable in succeeding in your goal of getting back with your ex.

I hope that these tips were very helpful to you and that it’s broadened your perspective on the ways in which you can identify if your ex still loves you. Remember in your relationship is very unique and it should be treated with care. Spend time reflecting on whether or not these signs are present in your relationship and if they are, spend an equal (or more) amount of time deciding what you’re going to do about it. Learning the signs is just the beginning of the journey and not the end in itself.

If you feel you are wanting to speak with someone to help identify if your ex still loves you, I encourage you to sign up for one-on-one coaching. It’s an excellent opportunity to generate a tailored game plan that is built around you and your partner.

Wishing you the very best today and always,

Coach Natalie

 

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Getting back with your ex

Break Up Songs : 20 of the absolute best tracks to listen to in a break up

breakup song

When we’re in a break up, it’s really natural, and maybe even fundamental for many people out there, to binge on break up love songs. After all, they feel our pain and share our fears, right? Sometimes, an artist or songwriter can find the words that we can’t find ourselves, and therefore, music can actually serve as catharsis – or a mode of releasing the tensions we build during a breakup. However, it’s also important to acknowledge that with anything good, comes a little bad. So, it’s worth mentioning that even though breakup songs can really help, they can also keep us stuck in them. But, many of us want to stay stuck. We want to hang on, right?

In this article, I’ll discuss why we listen to breakup songs, whether or not they’re actually helpful, and of course, I’ll list a couple of the best break up love songs out there. This article is also supposed to be fun, and so, if you’ve found a particular breakup love song that I haven’t listed that’s really helped you during this difficult period, I invite you to leave a comment. Let me know what you’re listening to and how it’s affected you and helped you cope. I’d love to continue expanding my list of excellent break up love songs.

Why listening to break up song chan be helpful ? 

So, here we go – let’s discuss why we listen to songs on and about breakups. Firstly, it’s important to know we aren’t alone. In a breakup, we have a person, or group of people, speaking a couple of languages we can really understand – the languages of love and loss and pain and downright confusion. When we listen to these songs, we’re able to communicate subconsciously with these people, and able to channel our emotional intent into them and them into us. We connect with them deeply for the song’s duration. This is a great way of us to avoid feeling alone, and like we have the support of a team or at least are able to find comfort in the fact that we aren’t the only people in the world who have gone through this before. Knowing that this is a situation, or at least a set of feelings, that so many have felt and survived can give us hope. It can give it a sense of “tomorrow”.

Secondly, we have the opportunity to get the emotions out of us! What a relief! Phew! By listening to breakup music, we get to turn up the volume in our bedrooms, in our cars, on planes, trains and at work if we can, and scream out all the words we haven’t been able to say. Maybe, we’re screaming words we’re afraid to say. Or, maybe we didn’t even know we wanted to say them? Regardless of the reason, we finally get them out of our chest!.By doing that, even if it’s just for an instant or a handful of minutes, we’re able to get rid of the weight of those emotions and how they impact us. For a moment, a SECOND – we’re free. For a short period of time, we can truly displace our pain and feel the relief we’ve been looking for. What a luxury, right?

Lastly, we listen to break up love songs because we don’t want to let go of the relationship. We want to hang onto it and keep it alive. By listening the breakup songs, we get to continue focussing on the relationship – we relive the good, we relive the bad. We keep ourselves stuck in it.

Now, we need to ask ourselves, are break up love songs actually helpful? Do they really heal us? Or is being hooked on breakup love songs only further preventing us from moving on or healing? I’m sure the answer the these questions are relative to the person in the moment. However, I did want to take into this from a professional perspective.

In my opinion, breakup love songs are critical in the healing process. Rather than keep you stuck, they actually can indirectly force you to grieve and reflect on the love lost. This actually means you’re healing and growing and understanding what went wrong. If your goal is to get your ex back, understanding why the breakup happened is the number one most important thing you’ll need to identify and correct. This being said, breakup love songs may be a real handy tool. However, like I previously mentioned, with every good there is bad. It’s important to limit how many love songs your binging on. Maybe give yourself an hour a day to wallow in the pains associated with the breakup with your favorite breakup love songs or just the most recently or popular break up love songs. When that hour is up, though, it’s going to be really important for you to turn off the radio or music application and get back to your life. Do not let it consume you completely. I cannot stress this enough. If you spend the entire day binging, the positives that come with listening to breakup love songs become negative and therefore lose their power to help heal you.

To spin off of whether or not they are helpful, I want to take this topic one step further – I encourage you to start writing down your own words and feelings. Start playing a few instruments of your own. Make the music yourself. This is another excellent healing mechanism. For many of you reading this, you think that suggestion is a little ridiculous. However, think about it this way – if you haven’t tried it and you’re still feeling lousy and you’re reading this article to cure the feelings of lousiness, then what you’ve done so far hasn’t done the trick. Therefore, what do you have to lose? What’s the harm in trying? Sit in a quiet and private place and give it a go. If you aren’t able to work with instruments of if they aren’t readily available to you, download an App for your phone or computer! There are so many virtualized instruments these days, so that’s no excuse to use!

Try making music for one full week, allocating about 45 minutes a day if you’re able. By the end of that week, let’s see how you feel. Have you reflected on the events that led to the breakup? Do you feel more in tune with what happened? Have you considered ways to correct it? Let the music express all of this! I promise, if you do, you’ll truly being the healing process. Hey, maybe you can end up writing an incredible album and turn into the next Adelle! What do you really have to lose? When it comes to music and catharsis and healing from a breakup, you only have lots to gain.

The best list of the best breakup songs is here ! 

Now for what may be my favorite part of this article. The list of love songs. As a major music person, this exercise quickly became a really tedious process. I called my parents, to tap into their generation, and called my friends. It was important for me to develop a well rounded list for everyone, but the task became (and still is!) tremendously difficult.

Initially, I was going to limit this list to Top 5 Best Break Up Songs, but narrowing the list was far too difficult, because there are just so many able to affect us and how we feel during a breakup. So, I’ve created a compilation of my top 20 Breakup Love Songs. As I mentioned in the introduction of this article, I invite you to leave a comment with your favorite Breakup Love Song and how it’s impacted you during this really challenging chapter in your life. If you do not live in the United States, thats OK! Please list any breakup love song from your local region, regardless of language and song release date. In time, I’d like to make collections of songs for different areas around the world so that everyone can feel included in this process and so that everyone has access to great love songs regardless of their location! Love can really unite us, and so, I really encourage you to get involved in this article.

The list below is a blend of 2 types of breakup love songs: ones to make you cry and ones to make you empowered to regain confidence. The reason for this is because I feel like there are so many levels of a breakup, and after a while, even though we’re still emotionally destroyed, we get tired of hurting and want to find some music to lift us back up.

One more note on the point of lifting back up (I know you just want the list, already!) during a breakup. Well, if you want your ex back, you’ll need confidence in order to achieve that desired outcome. Your ex doesn’t want to see you in collapse mode. Why? Well, guilt isn’t a long term solution. They may feel terrible for a few moments, as they don’t want to be the ones responsible for infecting so much pain.

However, after a while, their dissatisfaction with the relationship will resurface and you’ll be right back where you are right now. Therefore, the real way to get them back is to become organically re-attracted to you. That’s where the confidence comes in! We are attracted to people who are confident and aware of all they have to offer. We are inspired by people like this, and naturally, want to be with people we find to be inspiring. So, the fastest way to get your ex back, consequently, will be to become as confident and self-aware and as inspiring as possible. In music terms, this will mean turning off the Toni Braxton (who, in my opinion, deserves a crowned location on this list) and turn up the TLC!

  1. Toni Braxton – Unbreak My Heart
  2. Adele – Send my Love to your New Lover
  3. Adele – When We Were Young
  4. Beyonce – Irreplaceable
  5. Justin Timerlake – Cry Me A River
  6. Passenger – Let Her Go
  7. Gavin Degraw – Not Over You
  8. One Republic – Apologize
  9. Chris Brown / Drake – Deuces Remix
  10. TLC – No Scrubs
  11. Celine Dion – My Heart Will Go On
  12. Usher – You Got it Bad
  13. Johnny Cash – Hurt
  14. A Great Big World – Say Something
  15. NSync – Bye Bye Bye
  16. Rihanna – Stay
  17. Shania Twain – That Don’t Impress Me Much
  18. Alanis Morissette – You Oughta Know
  19. Justin Bieber – Love Yourself
  20. Rihanna – Needed Me

I hope you liked my scattered Breakup Love Songs list of 20 top Breakup Love Songs and more importantly, gained insight on why binging on love songs may be an excellent and effective way to mourn a break up, relive a breakup, and ultimately, begin to heal from the breakup. You deserve to feel all the feels, let them be good or bad – and there are so many artists around the world channeling everything inside of your chest. Do not rob yourself of the opportunity to feel these things and those struggles with them. Music is truly such a uniting tool and with the internet and endless amount of music access so many of us around the world have, we really have the luxury of exploring these songs on command.

Wishing you the best today and always, and of course, wishing you a great Break Up Love Song Sound Track,

 

Coach Natalie

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