Alexandre Cormont

Relationships are tough. Not only are they tough to initiate and kickstart, but they can also be tough to maintain. Many women I work with have asked me to write an article tailoring to our relationships with men. More specifically, what prompts a man to leave and how can we reel them back in? As women, we can’t help but try to understand the driving forces of men. What makes them tick? Why do men leave and come back? Do men always come back? What men like, want and do they never? Why does a man come back to you? How can you expedite the return?

The questions I’ve listed above are some of the many that women spend heaps of time trying to assess. Why? Well, if we can tune into the needs and desires and mechanics of men and the male psyche, we can also assess how to best manage our relationships with them.

If you’re fresh out of a relationship and trying to lure him back to you, I want to start by expressing my condolences for your current situation and emotional status. I know breakups can hurt like hell, and just because I’m a relationship expert doesn’t mean I haven’t had my fair share of heartache. I’ve been fortunate enough to let my experiences serve as models for my clients, and have utilized many of the methodologies to see and observe their outcomes. I’m happy to say that I’m in a very happy and healthy relationship and can’t wait to help you reach the same goal.

Anyway, let’s get to it and to know how to seduce a man:

“ Why do men leave and come back? ”

It would be foolish to assume that men always come back. However, it would be just as foolish to assume that they never do. The reality is that a lot of the reasons associated with a man’s decision to return to a relationship are in our (women’) control. Much of how we handle the split will determine the likelihood of their return.

If after the breakup, you’ve pleaded, pestered and begged for them to return, it’s likely that it didn’t work. However, just because you did these things, doesn’t mean you’re doomed and you’ll never have the chance to make it work. If you’re still in the begging period, STOP NOW. You can still turn this around the right way. Trust me.

As previously listed, a lot of the reasons behind a man coming back to a relationship actually depend on you and your behaviors during and post breakup or divorce. If you’re asking, “why do men come back?” you’re reading the right article. In order to answer this question, however, we must first identify why he left in the first place. Like way back in Math class, we can’t find the solution without the problem.

The primary reason a man exits a relationship is because he questioned his partner’s ability to make him happy long term. What this means is, he realized something, or perhaps multiple things, that he felt weren’t suitable for him to handle or deal with in the long run or for an extended period of time. When we break up with someone, it is because we feel we’ve thoroughly assessed them as people. We’ve observed their routine, have seen different shades of their personalities, and based on this overall assessment, we’re not confident in sharing a “forever” with this person.

Therefore, in order for our men to come back, we need to let them know that they don’t have us quite as figured out as they had predicted. We need to surprise them, excite them, and show them that we are capable of change and evolution.

Why do men come back and leave after : 4 things to know !

If a man leaves you, he will come back if he feels there’s more to discover. Its this sense of curiosity alone that, if you decide to reach back out later on down the road, will make him receptive to your outreach and give you the chance to re-attract him or kiss him. In short, what makes a man come back is the element of surprise. After all, dating is supposed to be fun, right? It’s supposed to be an adventure that’s full of surprises and excitement.

Here are 4 ways to pull this off:

1. Change is visual: When it comes time to show your ex that you’re still malleable and capable of change and evolution, visual signs ca be great indicators. For instance, try buying a new blouse (as if women need an additional reason to shop!) or hair style. This will let him know that things have changed since the split. It’s little tricks like this that are the reasons why men come back.

2. Change is in your routine: Have you tried new activities since the breakup? Show them on social media. I’m not advising you to overdo is or post 3+ things per day. But, if you recently did something out of the ordinary, maybe picked up a new hobby or did a Groupon Horseback Riding excursion with friends, don’t be afraid to showcase this. Let him know that the routine he felt he knew so well has already been spiced up. Spontaneity is sexy!

3. Change is in attitude: Want to know what makes a man come back? Well, confidence is a really big one. Confidence is an attractive quality, and it shows that you’re still living post breakup. It’s likely that during the breakup, you didn’t exert too much of it. After all, break ups hurt! However, if you start to put that pep in your step now, post breakup, you’ll show your ex you’re happy and excited to be living. He’ll be curious to see what’s making you act this way! (plays on the element of surprise)

4. Change is in acceptance: Coming to terms with the breakup is the last thing your partner will expect so soon. This is a sure sign that you’ve respected their decision and didn’t let it defeat you. If I could stress one things: this tip alone is the largest reason why men leave and come back. However, remember, it’s not as easy as just saying “I’ve accepted it.” You must actually, truly and wholeheartedly accept it. This is the hardest one to follow, but that’s why it’s most affective. If you need help getting to this point and actively applying it, I encourage you to book a coaching session with me and we can work on it together. I’d love to help after an infidelity.

Do men come back all the time : Be careful !

If you follow the tips I’ve listed above to a T, it’s tremendously likely that men always come back (unless you’re hiding specifics from me that I should know about).

However, getting him back isn’t really the tricky part, it’s keeping him again. You need to be careful in that you aren’t just replicating the previous relationship, because you’ll be back and reading this article later on down the road, wondering why your hard work didn’t go into fruition the way you wanted. So, make sure you’re prepared to make solutions to the issues that triggered the breakup in the first place. Don’t give him the ammunition to walk away again.

Whatever you need, please feel free to leave a comment here. I’d love to connect with you.

I wish you and yours the very best always.

Sincerely,

Coach Nat.

Recently, I had the pleasure of watching a Romantic Comedy classic starring Mel Gibson. The plot of the film lends a lot to what Coach Adrian, Coach Alex and I get to discuss each and every day. You guessed it, the movie I watched was What Women Want. While watching this film, I got to thinking about my line of work, and the countless women that ask me what men like or how to seduce a man. It’s the age old question us women have tormented ourselves for centuries over trying to answer.

Fortunately, I have spent years discovering what men love, and helping hundreds of women worldwide apply these tips and attitudes toward their own relationships in hopes of giving them the strong and exciting bonds with men that they deserve. That is why I decided to give Mr. Mel Gibson a taste of his own medicine and write this article.

So, let’s get going: What do men like?

What do men like : why is this a such important question ?

For most of you, the importance of this question is obvious. To start, for those in heterosexual couples, the man is 50% of the equation. In additional, the happiness of your man is likely going to be a direct influencer of your own happiness when it comes to matters of your relationship. After all, it’s hard to feel happy in a relationship when it’s evident your male counterpart isn’t, right? Lastly, if we don’t know what men like, it’s going to be mighty hard to keep them in a committed relationship with you and push a guy to kiss you.

When it comes to what guys love in a woman, the answer it’s always common sense. A lot of clients of mine, when I’ve asked this question, laughingly reply “sex and food.” I’m the first to tell you that, while I’m sure they enjoy both of those things, sex and food are not the determining factors related to why a guy is going to stick around.

What men like : 3 things to know !

What do men love about women? Here’s a few:

 

1. Consistency. What do men want? Men want consistency. Why is this important for you to know? Well, because if you’re a woman, you’re naturally prone to more hormonal fluctuations than men. Ever heard of PMS? Yea, me too. As women, we need to work to keep our emotions in check, because men are much more emotionally stable than we are (please note this is not about me being sexist, as I too am a woman). When we infuse these emotional ‘peaks and valleys’ into a relationship, our male interests may not be able to handle it for the long term. A trick I personally use is 5-HTP. It’s a mood stabilizer that’s completely natural and it’s available for purchase just about anywhere.

 

2. Spontaneity: When it comes to what men like, a spontaneous girl is surely one of them. At the end of the day, relationships are meant to be fun. Thats why we got into them, right? By making adventure a habit, you’re sure to keep him excited to hang out and spend time with you. A monotonous routine, believe it or not, is one of the surefire ways to demolish a blooming as well as fully developed relationship. If you have children and high stress professional lives, this tip greatly applies to you. Never forget to remind your partner why you’re the woman he should be with, thats what men love.

 

3. An Understanding Approach. What guys love in a woman is for them to be understanding in how they address things that may find upset or dissatisfy. To further clarify, let’s make an example of what I mean by this. Many a times, our male counterparts have a demanding job and they aren’t able to allocate the amount of time to the home as we’d like. Rather than waiting until you can’t handle it anymore and bursting into anger when they come home (or ignoring them completely), try speaking to them during a good day and during more pleasant timing. Timing is critical when it comes to your partner being defensive or receptive to your message.

If you attack him, he’s going to get just as frustrated and in turn, the likelihood of resolving the issue becomes               further and further away. Instead, what men like, is for you to speak to them when you’re both in a good                   mood. For instance, if you’re upset about how little time he spends at home, wait until the two of you are home             together and having a nice time. Rather than saying, “I hate that you’re never here!”, try saying, “I really enjoy             times like this, when you’re home with me”. This minor modification can really heighten his receptiveness to               your message and ideally trigger a change in his behavior.

** If there’s a specific thing you’d like to share with your husband or boyfriend, but don’t know how to go about it, I invite you to book a session with me. Together, we’ll develop a strategy geared toward sharing your message in an understanding and loving way.

Knowing what men want the most is a huge advantage !

As explained above, knowing what men want in a woman is really going to help strengthen and maintain your relationship. Sometimes, the idea of “men are from Mars and women are from Venus” couldn’t feel more true – but together, we can work to assess how to best optimize the bond and connectivity between you and your male partner. When it comes to what men want most, Coach Adrian and myself are great resources to have.

I hope you gained some insight through this article. If there’s a specific topic you’d like for me or Adrian to touch upon, I invite you to please leave a comment. We’re here to help you in your journey to love.

No matter the issue, always remember you aren’t alone in whatever it is you’re going through, and if you’re trying to better understand what men want in a woman, we’re only a click away.

 

Wishing you the absolute best, always.

Coach Natalie

As a life coach who specializes in relationship optimization, a lot of clients approach me regarding infidelity in marriage. Believe it or not, unfaithfullness in marriage is more common than you may think.

However, does this mean that the couple or partner is out of love ? Not necessarily. Rather than it being an issue of love, infidelity in marriage is more often than not an issue of neglect.

Marriage infidelity : how can that happen ?

In order to determine how unfaithfulness in marriage happens, let’s first address exactly what infidelity in a marriage is.

Infidelity in marriage relates to a partner or partners who engage emotionally or physically with another person outside of the relationship. As mentioned in this articles introduction, marriage affairs are significantly more common that you think, and about 35% of the married couples I speak to have dealt with or experienced it in their marriage to some degree.

An affair during a marriage happens when something is missing. Many a times, neglect is the root cause of an affair. One of the partners doesn’t feel that they are receiving enough attention, affection or acknowledgment from their partner. It’s in this loneliness or constant seeking of validation that makes them prone to cheating or receptive to temptation outside of the walls of the relationship.

It must be mentioned, though, that the partner responsible for not delivering attention may not be aware that their affection isn’t being received by their partner. They may not recognize this void in the relationship and that is why when the affair becomes public knowledge, they feel blind-sided.

Other times, a partner who didn’t receive affection from other critical relationships in their life (parents, siblings, elementary school friends) could fall victim to cheating in order to fill that need. In these cases, the other parner may also feel blindsided. As companions, we are burdened to bear the crosses of our partners previous relationships. We must be empathic to this, as long as it doesn’t affect our quality of life.

The only good thing about having identified neglect as the trigger for infidelity in marriage, is that now we know the root of the problem, and if we’re able to forgive our partners, can prevent it from happening again.

Infidelity in marriage : how to overcome that ?

In order to overcome infidelity in marriage, we must first question what infidelity does to a marriage. The biggest issue associated with infidelity in marriage is that the element of trust has been immediately shattered. What I mean by this is, if one of the partners was feeling neglected enough in the relationship to cheat, now the other partner also feeling neglected. When both partners are in this type of slump it becomes tricky to find the inner strength to rectify the relationship. However, now it’s more critical than ever to be strong. This is the only way you’ll be able to recover from infidelity in marriage.

If a relationship is really struggling, it can be incredibly challenging to find the inner confidence necessary to perservere. Something that I often mention to my clients is a concept I promote called ‘’emotion hacking’’. Emotion hacking refers to one’s ability to tap into their emotional database to tell their mind to feel certain things.

An example of emotion hacking can be observed using confidence. For instance, if you’d like to feel confident when you feel very low about yourself or your situation, you must show your brain how to feel it. In order to do this, we must do things that our mind understands as confidence creators ; like acheive something. Achieving something tells our brains we’re accomplished as people, which turns into feeling confident about ourselves. Therefore, in order to feel confident, we must give ourselves things to acheive. This can start by simply making your bed in the morning, or going to the gym.

If marriage infidelity is dismantling your marriage, help yourself feel confident. This will make all the difference in the relationship’s ability to recover from infidelity in marriage.

Why is confidence so critical in helping to fix your marriage ? Well, confidence is what gives you the capability to forgive without developing resentment. If you are in tune with yourself and you understand how valuable you are, you’ll be able to acknowledge the nelgect that triggered the affair and truly let go of the pain you are feeling.

Marriage and infidelity :  can you forgive ?

As mentioned in the previous segment of this article, infidelity in a marriage is fixable if you are willing to forgive your partner (or be forgiven by your partner, if you’re the one who introduced infidelity in the marriage). This isn’t something that’s decided overnight, even though we wish it was that easy.

A great exercise is to put yourself in your partners shoes. Try writing a list of issues that frequently occur in the marriage, then argue that list as though you were your partner. This can help you identify what was causing the neglect and also help you develop solutions so that this doesn’t affect your marriage again in the future. If you do this properly, you’ll find security in knowing that the issues are fixable, and this will give you the confidence to forgive your partner in hopes of having a healthier and happier marriage long-term.

If you are currently going through or have recently gone through infidelity in a marriage, we are here to help you. We have the opportunity to work with several people undergoing similar issues and together, we can determine a game plan that works for you.

 

You don’t need to go through this alone.

Sincerely,

Coach Natalie and Coach Adrian

 

Whether you’re in a new relationship or have been in one for a long time, it’s normal to ask yourself the following question : how do you know if she loves you ? Sometimes, our personal insecurities, fears and/or perspectives can make knowing or identifying this challenging, and so, I wanted to take some time to write a brief article about it. If you’re looking for tips on how to know if she loves you, you’ve come to the right place. Let’s get started.

In reality, love is a blend of two things : love is a verb (full of actions !) and also, love is an attitude. Therefore, If you’re trying to find out how to know if she loves you, it’s going to be in her actions and in her attitude.

Take a moment to ask yourself some of the following questions : How is my girlfriend treating me ? Does she think of me in and throughout her daily activities ? Does she tend to the relationship, or ignore it ? These questions are critical when trying to determine how to know if she loves you. The answers to these questions will vary, depending on who is reading this article. Most often than not, however, it’s the woman who tends to the relationship, is emotionally present throughout it, and who thinks of you, that loves you.

 

How to know if she loves you, why is it so important ?

Identifying how to know she loves you is important, because for obvious reasons, it’s a huge element of any relationship. More specifically, knowing if she loves you will allow for you to be more transparent, let your guard down, and also help you give love in return.

If you’re able to do these things, your relationship can continue to develop with healthy and visible parameters for both people to follow. Love can be scary, but if she loves you, and you love her, it can be truly be the best feeling in the world.

 

Signs to know that a girl loves you : be careful of the mistakes

As I previously mentioned above, when a girl really loves you, she will show you she does by continuous tending to the relationship and by thinking of you and incorporating you into her daily activities. An example of this can be when she’s grocery shopping : does she bring things that only she will enjoy, or will she put in a little something that you will, too ? Even little gestures, like this one, can illustrate one of the many ways to know she loves you.

However, if you’re reading this article in hopes of identifying when a girl really loves you, be careful of the mistakes you can make when putting her love to the test. What this means is, if your efforts to see her love come off as needy, you may actually be pushing her further away.

Neediness often lends to insecurity, and insecurity isn’t very attractive in the eyes of a partner. She will begin to question your confidence and your overall sense of self – if she does, her love may in turn dwindle. Don’t forget, confidence is sexy ! If you’re wondering if you’ve been too needy, I encourage you to browse through our articles on this topic (we’ve curated a bunch to help you identify this and fix it !)

 

How do you a know if a woman loves you : 3 real signs

Before you feel the need to test your girlfriend in search of the answer to the question of if she really loves you, I’m going to try to help, by identifying 3 real signs that are often present when a girl loves you :

1/ Wanting to nurture you – if a woman loves you, she’s going to want to build a true bond with you. Women are nurturers and ‘nesters’ by nature, and so, if you sense that she is looking after you, checking in with you and coddling you, it’s likely because she really loves you.

2/ She’s emotionally invested – when a girl loves you, she’s going to emotionally invest in you. This means, the things you say and how you treat her will affect her on an emotional level, and not just a logical one. She may cry if you treat her harshly or express ‘missing’ you when you’re away. When you’re intimate, she won’t only treat it as a sexual release, but also as an emotional experience.

3/ Interested in future plans – This is a sure sign associated with how to know if she loves you. If she mentions or entertains ideas of future plans and/or activities with you, she’s planning on keeping you around. Generally, women don’t make plans with people they are considering disposing of. If she’s talking about future decisions, you’re in luck, because she definitely is really into you.

 

Your Expert,

Coach Nat

Evan Marc Katz is the dating coach known as the personal trainer for smart, strong, successful women. This interview is made by Alex Cormont who is a French love coach based in Paris France and Miami Florida, and one of your relationship expert.

Alex Cormont (AC): Evan, can you briefly introduce yourself?

Evan Marc Katz (EMK): After pursuing a Hollywood screenwriting career that culminated in finishing in the Top 3 in Matt Damon and Ben Affleck’s Project Greenlight, I decided to put myself through film school. My job? Customer care at an online dating company in Beverly Hills, California. It was there that I got the inspiration to write my first book “I Can’t Believe I’m Buying This Book: A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating” .

It was an instant hit. Suddenly, I was in Time Magazine, in USA Today, on CNN, and I was presented with a choice: finish up my MFA so I could teach screenwriting or drop out and become the online dating guy. I became the online dating guy. In 2003, I built a website called e-Cyrano that writes dating profiles that attract higher quality prospects and started working with singles full-time.

• Online dating profiles led to online dating coaching.
• Online dating coaching led to dating coaching.
• Dating coaching led to relationship coaching.

At some point in 2009, I realized that 80% of my readers were women – attractive, college-educated, impressive women – and that I should cater my services to meet their needs. It was then that I wrote my bestselling book, “Why He Disappeared: The Smart, Strong, Successful Woman’s Guide to Understanding Men and Keeping the Right One Hooked Forever.”

Since then, I have made it my life’s work to help women to both attract better men and make healthier relationship choices.

To that end, I’ve been blogging twice a week for nearly a decade and my blog will have over 10 million readers in 2016. I launched a podcast this year that is averaging 40,000 listeners per month. And I have a newsletter that goes out to 75,000 women twice a week with even more free advice.

I love working with women – especially the kind of woman who has everything except for the man of her dreams. My clients are superstars – in the 98^th percentile of everything. Because of that, they feel their pool of potential dating partners is only limited to 2% of the dating pool. The problem is that the Top 2% of men, as you already know:

1. Don’t always want to date women who are so much like them.
2. Aren’t always the best partners themselves – they’re too alpha, too ego-driven, and too selfish to be great husbands.

My job is to take women from all over the world and help them find quality guys, navigate the tricky waters of dating, and teach them to create healthy, lasting relationships.

I believe good relationships are EASY and if it’s not easy, it’s not that good.

AC: What is your most memorable coaching experience and why?

EMK: I actually keep an email folder of every thank you letter and success stories. To me each and every one of those stories are unique and memorable in their own right.

For example: just yesterday I received an email from a 69-year-old woman from Northern California who was in my Love U course. She is now happily married. The reason she wrote to me is because she was having lunch with 32-year-old woman from Los Angeles who ALSO took my course and got married.

They happened to build a real friendship after having met through my community. The downstream effect of Love U is something that I am extremely proud of. Women getting married, achieving their dreams, and making real, lasting friendships. That’s what it’s about, and why I love what I do.

 

AC: What is the best piece of advice that you can give to men and women?

EMK: It really depends on the individual. But as a rule of thumb, everyone should strive to become the CEO of their own love life, instead of acting like the intern. What I mean is that when you carry yourself with a sense of confidence and set healthy boundaries, people will either treat you the way you want, or you will cut them loose. CEOs don’t claim to attract the wrong employees and keep them for three years; they fire anyone who isn’t doing the job.

Also, I think it’s important to acknowledge the role of chemistry in relationships. It’s a necessary component of love, but it is far from the only component. Lots of people have chemistry; few couples have true compatibility that allows two people to live together for a lifetime.

As a coach I try to provide actionable advice to rebuild my client’s confidence. In my opinion, confidence breeds success and success breeds confidence. The more you date, the more you learn, the more you realize what your needs and boundaries are, the more likely you are to find the partner that you’re looking for.

I’m just glad to help.

= = =

About Evan Marc Katz

 

Evan has over 10 million blog readers and over 75,000 newsletter subscribers. He has written 4 books, 2 of which can be found on Amazon:

 

“I Can’t Believe I’m Buying This Book: A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating” and Why You’re Still Single: Things Your Friends Would Tell You if You Promised Not to Get Mad.

 

His two other books “Why He Disappeared” and “Believe in Love: 7 Steps to Letting Go of Your Past, Embracing Your Present and Dating with Confidence” can also be found on his website.

 

Evan also offers private coaching through is Love U Masters Coaching, a 6 month highly exclusive course, which allows you to work with Evan on a one to one basis. Book now if you are interested, slots are limited and tend to go fast!

 

If private coaching (at $2000/mo) is too expensive, you can try the first two weeks of Love U (specifically about confidence) for FREE for a limited time only. Click here to get started.

After breakup or divorce you and your ex are still talking, and you are realizing that there might be a way to become more intimate… You’ve picked up on your ex’s hints, or maybe you’re wondering how you could get them back into your bed. Whether or not you want to get back together, there are some things you should know about having sex with your ex that will help you to gage whether or not it’s a good idea in your situation!

In this article you’ll learn all about what happens when two exes sleep together and whether or not you can use it to your advantage. Emotions run high after breakups so it’s important to take care of yourself and ensure that you can move towards your ultimate goal in the best way possible. Sex with an ex is risky business, but there are situations in which it can be used to your advantage. Keep on reading to find out!

How come my ex only wants sex?

Physical attraction is one of the first things that bring two people into a relationship. Of course there are emotions, excitement, shared interests, but the physical aspect is huge. I’ve seen couples separate because even though everything in their relationship was perfect, their sex lives were lacking. That said, I have also seen couples separate because their emotional tie just wasn’t strong enough, but that didn’t mean that their carnal desire for one another was extinguished!

This is the type of situation you might have found yourself in if you’re thinking “My ex wants to have sex… What should I do?” Perhaps because of lack of communication, or The Routine you and your partner decided to call things off. Maybe you don’t even know why exactly things ended, but now you’re seeing that your ex wants to have sex with you. Sexual desire is not easy to control at all, and it’s the same for both of you.

Sure, it’s extremely tempting. You remember how it was… The passion, the fiery look in your ex’s eyes when they looked at you. We are sexual beings and when you meet someone you physically connect so well with… Well, it’s not surprising that you’d have a tough time forgetting about it. So now it’s up to you to figure out whether or not your want to have sex with your ex.

Sleeping with an ex is a way for a person to make an easier transition from being in a relationship to being single, but that does not always mean that it’s a good idea. Your ex doesn’t want to be totally alone but also doesn’t feel like they can invest in a relationship. Not to mention the fact that human beings are drawn towards pleasure.

Your ex maybe doesn’t want to be single and lose a sexual partner, so desire becomes a need. Was your physical bond the thing that was holding your relationship together at the end?

Basically, if the sex was good but the relationship wasn’t, it could account for why your ex only wants sex from you. It’s a strange feeling because on one hand it’s kind of flattering (more so if you want your ex back) but on the other hand it’s making you feel uneasy and you’re wondering if it’s a good idea.

Another reason why your ex still wants to have sex could simply be that they’re not sure of their feelings. If they broke up with you, they might be doubting their decision to leave and are trying to feel out what it would be like to be with you again without having to calling it a relationship yet. If you left them, it might be their way of trying to keep you around.

Perhaps your ex wants to sleep together because you’re familiar and you’re available. They don’t feel like they need to go out of their way to get you in bed. It’s comforting to be intimate and familiar with someone, but that doesn’t mean that it’s going to help you get closer to your goal, whether or not you want your ex back!

And maybe the ex wants sex simply because they miss having you around. When this happens, it’s important to make them figure out what they want. It’s up to you to decide whether or not you’re ok with being friends with benefits with your ex. If you’re not, it’s not a good idea to have sex with your ex!

Do I have to sleep with my ex?

Alright so that answer to “Do I have to sleep with my ex” is obviously no, but let’s look at some situations in which you might be wondering if it will help you get to your goal. Sex with your ex can open a whole can of worms so if you’re not prepared, things could end up backfiring on a major scale.

In order to know what’s best for you, it’s important to understand the situation. There are certain circumstances under which you should not sleep with your ex! For example, if you’ve decided that this relationship isn’t right for you and you want to move on, you should stay out of your ex’s bed. Sex brings two people closer together, even if you’re just cuddling, your brain releases oxytocin (which is a bonding chemical), and you instantly feel closer. This is not going to do anything to help you move on and turn a new leaf…

It’s of course tempting, especially if you’ve had a glass or two to drink. It’s just for fun right? Believe me if you really want to move on, avoid sex with the ex at all costs.

Sleeping with your ex: I’m not sure about what I want

As I mentioned above, sometimes an ex wants to have sex because they aren’t sure about what they feel for you and are using sex as a means to gage what they want. But there is another possibility as well; maybe you’re the one who isn’t sure about what you feel.

It’s important to avoid having regret if you want your love life to be really fulfilling. If you’re thinking, “my ex only wants sex” and you’re not sure of what you want, it would be best to take a step back! No one is forcing you to spend the night with them, even if you still live together. Sleeping in separate bedrooms is sometimes best; especially if you don’t want any misunderstandings. Just because you’re sleeping together doesn’t mean you’re back together!

During this time it’s totally normal for a person to feel vulnerable and want to fall back into the arms of the person they had been in a relationship with just because it’s easy. The truth is that in times like this, having sex with your ex only makes matters even more complicated. You’re going to feel physically closer and it will make you feel more confused. If you need to figure out what you feel, having sex with ex is exactly what you should not do. Instead, take some time apart because time and distance are the only things that are going to make things clear in your mind.

Ex wants sex: But I don’t know if they still have feelings for me

Perhaps you’re wondering “should I have sex with my ex” because you’re tempted, but at the same time you’d like to get a better idea of what they feel for you! Sure, you might feel closer in the moment, but if anything, it might just make both of you feel more confused.

If you’re thinking, “My ex wants to have sex,” it’s not a telltale sign that they still have feelings for you. As I wrote above, sex is fun, it’s easy with an ex, and they might be just be using it as a way to transition from being in a relationship to being 100% single. Now, if you want your ex to have feelings for you, sex is also not the way to make them fall for you. In the second part of this article I will explain what you need to do to make your ex come back.
For now, don’t use sex as a tool to try and make this happen.

If you definitely don’t have feelings for your ex but you’re thinking that they might have feelings for you, sex with a ex should still be avoided. There’s no reason to make them feel closer to you and then not let it turn into anything serious. There’s no reason to cause more pain or confusion. A breakup is hard enough as it is!

Should I have sex with my ex if I want them back

Ahh, so what happens if you want your ex back? Should you have sex with your ex as a means to lure them back in? As you’ve undoubtedly understood, in the majority of cases it’s a bad idea. All it does it make things more confusing and more painful when it doesn’t go any further. But there is a situation in which sex can be used as a tool to make your ex return to you. I’ll explain in a moment.

Sex with the ex is rarely a good thing…

Perhaps you’re still not convinced that sleeping with an ex is such a bad thing if you want them back. Maybe you’re thinking that if you’re being intimate, it means that things are improving, right? You’re becoming closer, right? Well let me ask you this: Why exactly did you and your ex partner break up, and will sex make it right?

If you aren’t hoping to get back together, and your ex wants sex and you give in, you’re both just postponing the inevitable. At one point you’re going to have to mourn the relationship and allow yourself to heal and move on. Think of it as a Band-Aid. If you don’t rip it off in one quick motion, it’ll be a long, drawn out and unnecessarily painful process. Not to mention, it is very likely that one of you will start developing feelings for the other, and could result in even more heartbreak.

There’s also the possibility that your ex wants “casual sex with an ex” and will end up using you. They probably aren’t doing it on purpose, but it’s still not fair to you. Sex without commitment is like giving your ex cake and letting them eat it too. Sometimes you even start lying to yourself thinking, “Oh they’re using me just as much as I’m using them,” but it’s very rare for a person to truly believe that. There’s no point in lying to yourselves.

There are certain situations in which it’s a good idea to take sex with your ex!

After all this time I’ve spent harping about how bad it is to sleep with your ex in almost every situation, you might be surprised to find that there are some times when it could actually help you get them back. Under these circumstances, the answer to can I have sex with my ex depends on two things: how long you were together, and if lack of sex was the reason behind your separation.

When two people separate after a short relationship, sex can be actually used to bring them closer together again. You hadn’t had the time to develop a deep emotional bond and so the physical bond can be used to your advantage. If this is the case for you, you’ll have to focus on seduction to attract your ex back, and we’ve got an entire piece that you can read on how to do that here.

If the lack of sex in your relationship happened to be the reason behind your breakup, then it can absolutely be used as a means to get back together. In fact, it’s probably the simplest way to do so! All you have to do when you’re thinking I want to have sex with my ex is to work on seducing them again and then take more of an initiative to be intimate. Perhaps your ex didn’t feel appreciated or desired, so once you get them back in bed with you, show them how much you care.

Be careful not to become your ex’s friend with benefits!

The line between just sleeping with an ex and becoming their friend with benefits is very thin. The thing that makes the difference is how often you have sex with your ex. When you begin to have regular one night stand with your ex, you risk allowing your relationship to simply stay in this state of “in between.” You’re not together, but you’re also not completely separated.

It doesn’t matter who is instigating, the issue is that aside from a roll in the sheets, there’s no connection, no tenderness, and no real intimacy. If you allow this to continue, you’re basically allowing your ex to have all he advantages of a relationship, without any of the investment or challenge.

Now I realize that a lot of people are very happy with this type of no-strings-attached relationship, and if this is your choice then more power to you. The only thing is that this isn’t just anyone we’re talking about here. It’s your ex; the person you used to share your life with and you used to share so much. So having sex with your ex is a very easy way to set yourself up for getting hurt. It’s so rare for neither of the two exes to develop feelings for the other person again.

If you realize that you’re secretly hoping to get back together and you’re hoping that sex will do the trick, be careful. If your ex begins to see you as their friend with benefits, it’s not going to be easy to step out from underneath this label. Perhaps you’re afraid of no longer being in touch and you feel that sex with your ex will ensure that they remain in your life. This isn’t the healthiest approach so I’d suggest that you switch your focus to developing a fulfilling friendship.

The most important thing to do is to take a step back and put things in perspective in order to pinpoint which approach is going to be the best for you. Yes, some people succeed in getting back together by sleeping with their ex, but these cases are very rare. If you’d like to know more about what techniques are available to you (especially if you’ve already started sleeping with your ex,) I highly recommend setting up an appoint with us!

If sex with an ex isn’t the only way to get them back, what should I do?

If there’s one thing you take from this article, let it be this: Your ex will want you back as soon as you present a challenge.

It’s not surprising that you might be thinking, “I wanna have sex with my ex,” but it’s not going to get you anywhere unless you make them work for it. Let’s take a moment to think about human nature; When you really work for something and invest in it, you appreciate it much more than if you had just received it without having to put forth any effort. Relationships between two people work the same way.

Making it easy for an ex to sleep with you is not going to suddenly make them realize that you’re the person they want to spend the rest of their life with. The trick is making them realize that it’s worth the effort to be with you.
Similarly, if you abruptly take something away from someone, they will miss it even more. So if you want to get back together, instead of still having sex with ex, let’s look at how exactly you can get your ex back.

Instead of sleeping with an ex, lure them back with No Contact

If you’re not familiar with the no contact rule, it’s basically cutting contact with your ex for a period of 1 to 3 months. It’s scary, it’s hard, and it requires a lot of self control and patience, but it is the single most effective method for getting an ex back. And it obviously does not involve sex with ur ex! The goal of the no contact rule is to make your ex fear losing you!

So depending on how messy your break up was, instead of obliging when your ex wants to have sex, you cut contact with them for at least 30 days. That means not even a text, an email, or a phone call. Make sure you stay off of their social media profiles, and don’t “accidentally” bump into them somewhere.

If they reach out to you, you have to resist the urge to respond! If you give in, you’ll be right back at square one and they’ll feel that they can get your attention whenever they feel like it.

Even if you’ve already started having sex with your ex, they’ll be even more taken off guard if you suddenly disappear. They will start to wonder what happened and why you’re not speaking to them anymore. Before you know it, they’ll begin to wonder if they made the right choice to separate from you.

During this time apart, it’s very important to focus on certain things…

Instead of having sex with your ex: focus on self improvement

Instead of having sex with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, your goal should actually be self improvement. You can vastly improve your life, all the while getting you closer to your ex. The goal of self-improvement when getting your ex back (aside from bettering your life,) is to remind your ex of the person they fell in love with and becoming an even better version of them.

During this time, take some time out for yourself and focus on your hobbies and projects. Spend time with your friends and family, and hit the gym. Focus on making yourself happier and you’ll see that you’ll attract people like never before. A genuine smile is like a magnet.

Building up your self-confidence will help you in all aspects of your life.

Another thing to note is that when you break up with someone, it’s crucial to accept and understand the break up whether or not you want to get back together with your ex. Pinpointing what wasn’t functioning in your relationship will allow you to come up with appropriate solutions in the future. Accepting the breakup also allows you to heal and move forward. In the future, if you get back together, you will have to construct a new, more solid relationship. Breakups never happen without a reason, so if you’ve been able to understand what went wrong and can offer the best solutions, you’ll ensure that your new relationship will be better than ever before.

sex with your ex: Wait for the right moment

After you’ve taken the time to grow, heal, and figure out what needed to change, you can start getting back in touch with your ex. When you do, avoid jumping right into sleeping with your ex, or even talking about the breakup for that matter. At first, you have to simply show them the new and improved version of yourself, and this will inevitably make them start thinking about what it would be like to be back in your arms.

Once you start luring them in and becoming closer, you must still take your time jumping into sex with the ex. After you’ve reestablished contact and you’ve started talking again, you can begin to flirt a bit. At first, keep it ambiguous, and remember: don’t bring up the relationship or the break up too soon. Think of this as a way to begin a new relationship with your ex!

The ideal thing would be to start having sex with your ex once you realize that you’ve succeeded in making them want to invest in a relationship. It’s very likely that you’ll start seeing their interest early on, but you’ve got to draw it out. Not only must you keep their interest by continuing to show them how much you’ve improved and how exciting your life is, you have to continue improving your life and making them realize how much they want to be with you again. Sex will inevitably happen, so do what’s in your power to ensure that it’s not premature and that it doesn’t give your ex the wrong idea about you.

Sleeping with my ex when we’re back together: Keeping the flame alive

A common mistake I see is when a person gets back together with their ex and says, “I slept with my ex now what?” When you begin a new relationship with your ex, don’t neglect seduction just because you’ve reached your goal. The easiest thing is getting your ex back; the hardest thing is actually keeping them.

So when you begin a new relationship, never lose sight of innovation. Relationships begin to suffer when the excitement dwindles. It’s completely normal for things to change once the honeymoon stages, but don’t let The Routine creep in and make your relationship stagnant!

Sex with your ex should continue happening throughout your entire relationship because it only brings you closer. Think of ways to surprise your ex and to keep the flame alive. The better you get to know your partner, the easier it will be to surprise them.

To summarize, unless you were in a very short relationship with them, use sex with your ex as a means to fortify your relationship when you get back together; not as a means to get back together.

 

Sincerely,

Your relationship expert for knowing whether or not to have sex with your ex

 

I had the pleasure of interviewing Petra, a love coach who has been working in this field for many years. She has a very interesting philosophy and helps men and women that want to be happy in their love lives and in their personal lives.

In this article you will find all her answers to my questions. If you have any questions of your own, don’t hesitate to leave a comment below!

1/ Hello Petra, can you briefly introduce yourself?

I was born in Croatia, where I lived around 30 years. I began my career in marketing before I began focusing on business development. My job allowed me to travel and I had the opportunity to meet my husband, who is American, while I was in Bahrain (Asia).

I moved to London to be with him and spent a few years there, before settling down in Dallas, Texas.

My background and experience of different cultures gives me the opportunity to coach people via Skype all around the world (New Zealand, Australia, South Africa, Asia…) I work primarily with native English speakers.

I mainly work with single people or with people who are experiencing problems in their relationship. Much to my delight (as well as theirs!) I’ve helped hundreds of men and women since 2011 🙂

2/ How did you get started in this line of work?

I began coaching because I felt a true calling to help and guide people. It’s an intensely personal profession and I felt ready to give a lot of myself and of my energy to others.

It was a natural transition because I always felt human relationships are at the forefront of our lives. When we learn how to be confident we become naturally attractive to people we have most in common with, and vice versa. It really was something that I wanted to do with all my heart.

We can be happy without a solid romantic relationship, but most of us desire fulfillment in that part of our lives, as well as harmonious relationships in our social lives.

I naturally gravitated towards my principal expertise; knowing how to help single people find real love and the perfect partner. More than 90% of my clients are in this situation today.

I work with both men and women and I think that the issues at hand are pretty similar across the board regardless of the person’s gender or culture. It’s usually a question of confidence and insecurity.

3/ What are some of your core values that you try to convey?

Great question! The first step is always to understand the person being coached. I often ask them how they see themselves. It’s important to understand how the person feels about himself or herself.

Self-confidence has many layers but it all depends on the image you have of yourself. This is why this first step is so important.

The next thing I ask the person I am coaching is, “What would you like?” What is missing from their life that would bring them fulfillment? I offer a tailor made approach to help people figure out what they want while focusing on realistic expectations and on the right things.

This requires making a tangible effort to meet the right person, but I make sure to take some time with each person to define what types of places and activities would facilitate the process of finding their soul mate.

The core values needed in order to be on the path towards finding true love are believing in yourself and remaining true to yourself. These are the best ways to meet the ideal partner and to be happy.

I gravitate towards working with people that want genuine relationships based on respect, honesty and trust – the true values that make relationships thrive.

I have learned that every single person is lovable and deserves to be loved, and you should never think that your bad experiences are the norm. You have to challenge your beliefs and give yourself the opportunity to find the right person and avoid divorce.

I like to be down to earth and honest. Each person responds to criticism or honest truth in different ways and I am able to adapt my approach based on each individual’s personality. Sometimes people have all kinds of issues with the world around them without realizing that these issues are actually just issues that they are having with themselves.

There are also some interesting things I’ve learned about men and women throughout my career. Contrary to popular belief, it can be equally hard to find the right partner for those who are considered very attractive as it is for those who don’t get much attention. Too much choice can be as challenging as too little!

4/ What is your most memorable coaching experience and why?

Honestly, it’s not easy to choose just one (laughs). Ok, I remember one man that I coached. He found me on my website and Facebook and he was over 50 years old and had never had a relationship with a woman.

He was really lovely but he needed to evolve and gain some self-confidence. We both worked hard together so that he could become more confident in his qualities, and he ended up finding a wonderful woman with whom he is still together to this day.

This man is the perfect example of how we can overcome our personal blockages and find someone with whom you can build something amazing! In order to do so you really must accept change and put an end to bad habits so that you may feel more confident.

Note from Alex Cormont: When Petra was answering this question; we could see the passion she has for her work. Her eyes were sparkling and she spoke about this individual. I can tell you that not only is she a true professional; her work truly is her passion!

5/ What is the best piece of advice that you can give to men or women?

The first piece of advice that I can give it to always invest in yourself. You really must work on your personal happiness and on your self-confidence, and to accept yourself the way you are today. Everything you do in order to meet someone or to be in a relationship directly reflects who you are inside.

I really invite you to focus on yourself and on your Happiness. Reconnect with your values and put everything in place in order to life your life to the fullest.

This really is the best tool for attracting your perfect match and to create a long lasting and fulfilling relationship.
You’re going to take control of your love life by bringing out your best.

Most people search for a magic solution without realizing that this simply doesn’t exist… unless you learn to always put your best foot forward and love yourself.

What is the point of playing a role for the rest of your life?

When you’re comfortable in your own skin and you know that you have something amazing to offer, you attract great matching partners with ease.

Petra offers many services and to take advantage of all she has to offer, we suggest that you follow her Private Coaching Program that also includes an 8-week online course.

This program will help you to take control of your love life and it is composed of four modules revolving around understanding yourself, loving yourself, and making yourself happy. You will learn how to use these tools in order to find the love of your life.

It will help you to find The One, but also can help you to ensure that you’ll have a solid love life free of the emotions and issues that caused problems in the past.

Petra also offers personal accompaniment, especially if you want to bounce back from a break up, get over common fears like rejection or getting hurt, and take control of your life. She offers a one on one coaching sessions here

Yes, finding the right partner is possible! Don’t hesitate to visit her site for more information or to get in touch directly with her via email.

 

Interview By Alex Cormont

Today I’d like to talk to you about Karen Marshall, a Professional Relationship Coach based in London, specializing in helping career women who are successful in their professions but who are missing the love of their life, or the rewarding relationship they want that lasts. The message I’d like to share with you via this article and interview is that there are some incredible professionals out there that can help you to overcome your personal obstacles and to find proper solutions to issues you may be having, and I really invite you to reach out to them.

You deserve to have a life filled with love and passion, and Karen helps her clients find someone extraordinary, not just second best. I want you to repeat this to yourself every single morning because I meet so many people that settle for a mediocre love life.

Take matters into your own hands and switch things up with Karen’s help!

1/ Can you briefly introduce yourself? where are you from? background?

Hello fellow love seekers.  I am Karen Marshall and live in Sindlesham, Wokingham about 30 miles outside London, in the UK.  Today, I love the life I live – and live the life I love – because my determination and quest to find my own Mr Right changed my life in an unbelievable way.  It’s why I am now passionate about helping other women, to fill your heart and life with your missing ingredient – the right, Mr Right.   I now work as a Professional Relationship Coach with single or divorced career women looking for love and happiness with your Mr Right.

Previously I worked in Marketing for over 20 years building my career, of which 13 years of these, I considered myself single because I hadn’t met a guy I wanted to settle down with. 

Today, I have a new career, travel more in my life and share my dreams and future with my Mr Extraordinary, who is now my husband.  My lifestyle would be very different and unfulfilled without Dave. He is my best friend, lover and soulmate who inspires and encourages me every day to follow my dreams we share together.  After 4 years of dating we then lived together for 2 years, and finally married in February 14^th 2014, on the most romantic day of the year, Valentines Day, on a beautiful sun drenched beach in the Bahamas, Caribbean.  My fairy tale had come true. I was 47 years old and finally married for the first time in my life.

My personal journey only really began when I ended my first 11 year relationship at the age of 28. It was a point in my life, I really started to learn about love and how to make a new relationshp work. I was extremely naive, expecting to find love quite quickly, get married and live happy ever after, because I was still quite young.  How wrong I was!  Yes I had fun and continued dating, had a few short-term relationships, some lasted longer than others, but also lived as a single woman often feeling alone or the odd one out because I was still single.

Finally at 34, I thought I had found my Mr Right I was besotted with.  I thought he was my Prince Charming and I was his Cinderalla, which unfortunately all went wrong.  He left me heart broken and devastated. However, it was the catalyst relationship that significantly changed my life and approach to love. The pain of my broken relationship made me more determined to find my right, Mr Right, to find a guy who wouldn’t want to let me go!  I immersed myself in studying as much knowledge about men, physcology and the relationship mistakes we make and why we make them.  I then started to notice different results with the men I dated when I applied what I learned.  It took me 13 years of relationships right and wrong, to discover what really worked.  So don’t make the same mistakes I made wasting your life.  Learn about what you can do diferently to get different results.

Love unexpectedly arrived in my life at the age of 41.  I met Dave, a divorced dad of 2 children, someone I wouldn’t have normally gone for before I transformed my thinking.  My heart and mind was completely open to unconditional love.  I had changed my mindset, limiting beliefs and learned so much already about men, so I could clearly see how gorgeous Dave was inside and out, and my right, Mr Right.  He was so different to any other man I had met before, because I was open to him and his situation, without any of my old pre-conceptions I had in the past.

2/ How did you get started in this line of work? What are some of your core values that you try to convey?

Life teaches us lessons for a reason, and I believe my personal love journey experience enriches my role as a Professional Relationship Coach.  I understand what does and doesn’t work finding love and how to make a happier and rewarding relationship work.

Finding true love after a 13 year personal journey, is the reason I become a Professional Relationship Coach because I don’t want other women to make the same mistakes I made, which the majority of women still do.  I ‘walked my talk’ and really understand what it means to be a single career woman looking for love and happiness in a relationship that works.  I experienced the highs and lows myself, the challenges living alone, a broken heart, feeling so lonely sometimes, I was determined to transform myself and my life into the one I wanted.  It is hard on your own without a partner, when you want to settle down.  Now I have found my dream, I am passionate about helping other women find a happier and more fulfilling life

If more woman want to find a relationship that works, it’s really important for firstly invest in your own personal growth, your confidence, self-worth and inner beauty, and discover the obstacles holding you back from the successful relationship you want.  With this self-awarness and insight of yourself, it’s so much easier to become the best partner you can be for your Mr Right when he arrives. You also have a greater chance to build a stronger bond and relationship together.

The way you think and how you communicate in love is a key ingredient to it’s success.  Only when you learn to REACT differently, a man will RESPOND differently.  For example, when any conflict or disagreements come up, if you understand how to deal with your differences and express yourself in a more loving way, you will continue to keep love alive.  Your man will certainly cherish you when he recognises you’re a high value woman and you really understand how to communicate with him.  He will also see how different you are to other women, and want to stick around, especially if the chemistry is right between you.

3/ What is your most memorable coaching experience and why?

All my clients have a unique story to share, but one particularly self-motivated client I worked with, had already done quite a bit of self-development work on herself before we worked together over 9 months.  To could see her transform into a more beautiful flower as she shifted her confidence and self-worth through our coaching relationship. She started to recognise her own beauty inside and out. Now she is dating different guys, with clear relationship values, is more relaxed dating and having fun with a different dating approach to finding love.

Working with Hannah, inspired me to design and create my own much unique FAST TRACK approach to give women all the tools and insight, to FIND and ATTRACT Mr Right, NURTURE and BUILD a more rewarding and lasting relationship that works, over a much shorter time frame. I offer individual 1 day or a 2 day group workshops, or 1-2-1 workshops, if you prefer a more exclusive experience.

My health and well-being expertise is also integral to what I teach, more specifically included in the New You Confidence coaching programme.

4/ What is the best piece of advice that you can give to men or women? And how to stop mistakes single woman make ?

Whether you are healing a broken heart, have given up on finding love, ready for a new relationship, DON’T GIVE UP, OR GIVE IN or settle for someone second best. Keep believing in your dream, be courageous and take a different approach to love if you want different results and a more fulfilling life.  Take consistent actions to find what you want!

Most importantly, learn to become the BEST PARTNER YOU CAN BE and the best 50% of the relationship you want in your life.  Life is so precious and love becomes harder to find later in life, it also becomes more complicated later in your 30’s, 40’s or 50’s, particularly if your relationships keep breaking down.  So next time round, certainly don’t judge a book by it’s cover, the way someone looks.  Before you invest your heart, emotions and life with the wrong person, get clear about what is important to you and discover what is holding you back before you go looking for your next Mr or Mrs Right.  If you want a life changing experience and different results, the rewards will be worth your time and effort.

5/ What is your coaching philosophy that has enabled you to have such resounding success?

Today I am qualified and practice 5 different treatment interventions that work with the mind – body – and energy connection. I certainly understand how to support clients, mentally, emotionally and physically, to provide the complete healthier body and mindset transformation.

My F.I.N.D. Love Accelerator 4 Step Formula Group Coaching programme now offers more women the possibility of a more balanced and rounded approach to finding the most rewarding relationship every woman wants to attract and keep hold of, if you don’t want to keep repeating the same mistakes women make.

Without personally transforming myself, walking my talk, ATTRACTING, FINDING, and BUILDING the most rewarding relationship I dreamed of having in my own life, I wouldn’t be the Professional Relationship Coach I am today. It’s now become my purpose to empower, educate and sucessfully transforming other women’s lives.

How can I reach Karen for a personal coaching session?

As I mentioned in the introduction, I had the pleasure of speaking with Karen, another Professional Relationship Coach based in London, for over 45 minutes. She now focuses her time on group coaching events, webinars, workshops and professional speaking events.  She can also be reached via Skype, which makes her perfect for women to work and easily connect with her all over the world.

Unfortunately for us men, she works exclusively with women, but her advice is very interesting for everyone and her articles can provide you with all kinds of useful information.

Today, Karen is offering you, her FREE 5 Step Inner Beauty Makeover. It will only take you 10 minutes to discover your NEXT STEP if you’re confused about what to do next.

 

Don’t wait a moment longer and take a look at her website www.LoveCoachingYou.com or join her on Facebook@lovecoachingyou.  Or reserve your coaching session to find your “Extraordinary someone.”

All you’ve got to do is take full account of your love life and become the best partner you can be if you want profound happiness !

 

Interview By Alex Cormont

Being faced with the realization that your marriage might be coming to an end is crushing. Not only that, it fills you with dread and uncertainties. Should you throw everything you’ve built together away? What will happen to your family, your children? Is there no going back? Do you even want to fix things? Your head feels like a whirlwind of questions so of course you’re feeling overwhelmed and sick to your stomach.

But don’t worry. We are here to help you to understand the situation in order to know what solutions are available to you, we will help you explore what you’re feeling and what you really want, and we will help you to know what to expect as the story unfolds. Divorce can be avoided, if you’re willing to put forth the effort, and in this article you’ll learn what needs to be done.

People often feel very alone when these situations arise because they’re lost, confused, and sometimes they don’t want to open up to their loved ones about it for a plethora of reasons. A lot of people just put their heads down and try to brave the storm without doing anything to stop it so I have to say, I congratulate you. You have taken the time to start doing research on your options so that you may make an educated decision and take control of your life. As I always say, anything is possible in love, as long as you’re willing to do the work!

Divorce definition

You’ve found yourself at a crossroads. You may be contemplating asking for a divorce from your partner, or perhaps you two have already begun talking about the possibility and you’re not sure if you want to do that or not. Of course initially you don’t want to divorce; just the word strikes panic in your stomach… But after a bit of time passes and you realize that you’re unhappy in your relationship with your spouse, you start to toy with the idea.

In my personal opinion, in today’s day and age couples separate all too quickly. It reminds me of a quote I once heard from an elderly gentleman when he was asked how his relationship with his wife lasted so long. His simple response was,

“I come from a time when if something was broken, you fixed it.”

Today we have a tendency to gravitate towards quick fixes, and the same goes for many marriages. I have seen so many couples separate or divorce because of things that could have been so easily avoided. We get tired, we get frustrated, and we give up. The saddest part is that so many people regret the divorce and end up having to work extra hard to restore the relationship with their ex. It’s not the end of the world, and everything is possible, but sometimes all that pain is easily avoidable.

I wanted to write this article to help you determine what you truly want, and then offer you tools for reaching your goal. As someone very important to me once said, “The hardest of decisions become the easiest ones once enough time has been allowed to pass.”

Avoiding rushed decisions will ensure that you don’t make a decision that you regret for the rest of your life! Always remember: we are here to help and if you need some guidance during this difficult time, don’t hesitate to reach out to us here or by leaving a comment below. We would be more than happy to personally reply to you.

What are the signs you’re on the brink of divorce?

Every single relationship has its ups and downs so of course you will encounter periods of difficulty. The success of a relationship doesn’t depend on the amount of challenges; it depends on you and your partner’s ability to overcome these obstacles together.

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, but with patience and perseverance you two can find what works best for you. The divorce rate in America is steadily increasing, and couples are having more and more trouble finding balance and happiness together. Our lives are overflowing with responsibilities, stressors, and sometimes we feel like we just don’t have time to deal with the challenges in our relationships. Unfortunately, the relationship gets put on the backburner and the problems that could be so easily avoided end up drowning the entire relationship.

I am about to outline common issues in relationships that can lead couples down the road towards divorce if left unresolved. The good news is that every single issue can be fixed, but proper communication and patience are imperative.

– Not speaking: A lot of couples that are thinking about divorce begin doing so once they get to a point when they’re not even talking with their partner anymore. Do you remember how it was in the beginning when you two talked about everything? When things get complicated between two people, it’s not uncommon for them to just stop talking altogether because it’s just “easier.” You are tired of fighting, so why even begin conversation if you know where it’s going to lead? This type of thinking will lead a relationship towards disaster.

– Constant arguments: Many people divorce a spouse when they feel like all they ever do is fight. They begin to feel that they’re incompatible or that they’re just different in every way. Of course it is possible that two people may evolve in completely different ways, but if you want to remain together you’ll need to work on communication and compromise.

– Disconnect: The lack of connection to your partner is one of the biggest causes of divorce. It happens slowly over time, and the culprit is often failed communication. Complicity is one of the pillars of a solid relationship, but it requires maintenance. Sharing your experiences and emotions create a deeper level of intimacy, and when that begins to disappear, the relationship suffers greatly.

– Constant sadness: Depression can lead to divorce, perhaps more easily than you might think. If you’re always feeling unsatisfied, unappreciated, unwanted, or just generally unfulfilled, it’s normal that you would want out of an unfulfilling relationship. This typically happens when things slowly degenerate over time and you find yourself in a position of feeling too tired and heartbroken already to try to put the pieces back together.

– Deep resentment: Divorce can happen when a deep cut hasn’t been or cannot be forgiven. Infidelity, lies, deception, or even withholding can lead a couple towards the end of their relationship. Each person has something that feels like a scale. If your side begins to feel much heavier than your partner’s side, and you don’t feel that things have been fair for you, resentment begins to grow. Bitterness is one of the most dangerous things that can arise in a relationship and the only way to fix it is by taking the time to clearly express what is felt to your partner, and in turn your partner must in essence prove to you that they truly understand and will do what needs to be done to make it up to you and set the scale back in balance.

– Fantasizing about being alone: Sometimes a person can’t put their finger on what the issue is but they just know that they want to be alone. Sometimes it’s not even personal towards their partner; they just know I want to divorce so I can be alone. This is always tough because they don’t want to hurt their spouse, but they feel a need for freedom from the relationship. This can happen at any age and for a variety of reasons. People sometimes feel like they’ve lost themselves and they need to figure out a way to reconnect with themselves or to discover something new. Sometimes this can be fixed in a relationship by introducing new and exciting things.

– No more common interests: Of course each partner will have their own personal hobbies and interests and no two people are identical, but when it feels like you don’t enjoy anything together at all, you may begin to question your relationship. Sharing is a huge part of healthy and successful marriages and if you no longer have anything in common, you can start to feel more and more disconnected. If this is coupled with other issues, the conversation about divorce begins to loom over your heads more and more.

– Constant criticism: Of course when two partners are constantly at each other’s throats throwing reprimands or criticism back and forth, there will be an extremely negative effect on the family and divorce will be more likely to rear its ugly head. Nobody likes being criticized; especially if it’s not constructive. Once again, the remedy lies in communication and the presentation of what needs to be said. For example, instead of saying, “You never have time for me!” the same idea can be presented less aggressively: “I miss spending time with you.”

– Avoiding and finding distractions: Another thing that can lead to serious problems in a relationship is when people being filling up their schedule with things just to avoid spending time with their partner. It fosters resentment, frustrations and feelings of abandonment. It’s a quick fix for not having to face the issues at hand, but more often than not this results in an explosive fight where all the pent up and suppressed emotions come pouring forth. Problems must be dealt with when they arise… Otherwise they accumulate and take on larger proportions.

– Lack of intimacy or letting yourself go: One of the most common reasons for divorce today is the lack of a physical connection between two partners. Of course over time the passion will slowly subside, but if its 100% nonexistent, a person can become sexually frustrated. A variety of feeling and actions can arise from this from feeling unwanted or to infidelity. Sometimes thoughts of divorce come into a person’s head when they know they need to find a way to be intimate with another person without cheating. Moreover, passion is such an important element of a solid bond between two people… If it is nonexistent, two people can drift apart. I’ve also seen people let themselves go in a subconscious attempt to repel their partner and get them to make the first move towards separation…

There are so many reasons why you may be considering divorce, but it’s very important to take some time to really think about why you want this. As I said, spur of the moment decisions can lead to serious regret, and it’s up to you to gauge whether or not you want to fix the situation.

Reasons why people stay in an unhappy marriage

Simply put, the most common reason why a person would stay in an unhappy marriage is fear.

People often remain with people they don’t want to be with out of fear of being alone, and sometimes they don’t even realize it. Once you’ve been in a relationship for so long, it’s hard to imagine being on your own again. We tend to forget that life existed before this relationship so of course it will continue even if a separation occurs.

Another common reason is simply pride. You’ve built so much with this person, you’ve been through so much, and you’ve already put so much energy into this relationship… You feel it would be such a pity to let it all go. So even though you don’t have the type of relationship you want, you settle for it because it’s better than giving up on something you worked so hard for.

Other common reasons why people would avoid divorce are financial constraints, and the effects it would have on those around you. When you rent or own property together, if you have shared debts, or if you feel that you wouldn’t be able to support yourself on your own, sometimes you choose to stay in an unhappy marriage. The effect of divorce on children is vast, and I will expand on that in a moment.

There are so many things to take into consideration when you think about divorcing your partner, and many people are actually deterred from going through with it when they think about all it entails. While I am an advocate of doing everything in your power to save your marriage, I want to insist on the important of being really honest with yourself and determining whether or not you want things to work out.

I’m not going to sugar coat it; saving a marriage is a lot of work so if your heart is not in it, it’s not going to happen. Similarly, you and your partner both need to be on the same page because this is going to be a team effort. It doesn’t work if only one partner is doing all the work to fix the situation.

What must be taken into consideration when contemplating divorce:

As I mentioned above, there is a lot to think about if you’re going to go through with a divorce. I am not trying to scare you into staying or leaving, but I want you to be fully aware of everything these two options entail so that you don’t end up regretting your decision.

It’s a long process whether you want to restore your relationship or if you want to divorce, but as always we are here to help. Don’t hesitate to leave us a comment and we’d be more than happy to personally guide you through this situation. So let’s take a look at what to keep in mind when deciding whether or not you want to fight for this relationship!

Are you willing to make changes?

As I’m sure you have understood, the biggest thing right now is determining whether or not you’re willing to make the necessary changes in order for your relationship to work. Something obviously must change, and it’s not going to be a walk in the park either. That said, nothing is impossible, and if you’ve got the drive, you can work miracles!
It’s imperative that you take the time to contemplate what went wrong and analyze the situation, but I’m sure you already know that. That’s why you’re on our site!

Take time by yourself at first to really think about the situation, what you’re dissatisfied with, and what you want. Write it out in a list, and then focus on coming up with realistic solutions. Write those down as well. The next step is asking your partner to do the same. If tensions are high, wait for a moment when you two are able to have a sincere, calm conversation to bring this up. Be careful to not present this in an aggressive way! Pay attention to your language.

Ex. “So I wrote out everything you’ve done wrong and why I’m furious with you. You can write down what you’re mad about if you want.” Vs. “I’ve been thinking about us a lot, and I wrote down some suggestions to the issues I think we’re having. You could write down what you’d like us to work on as well, and let’s start figuring this out together.”

The difference is pretty obvious, huh. Once you’ve both written down what needs work, sit down together and discuss solutions. Practice implementing these solutions in your relationship on a daily basis, while making sure each person can see that the other is making an effort.

Perseverance is key. I saw a quote that I very much liked earlier today:

“Every day we wake with a certain amount of mental, emotional, and physical energy that we spend throughout the day. If we allow our emotions to deplete our energy, we have no energy to change our lives and to give to others.” –

Don Miguel Ruiz

I thought this quote was great because it reminds us that we are in control of how we handle each situation and how much energy we give to feelings that cause us pain and block us from moving forward. So, although this situation is extremely taxing and challenging, if you allow it to control your life and make you spiral into depression, you’re not going to make positive changes.

Divorce of not: Can you forgive?

Another honest question that you must ask yourself is whether or not you can forgive your partner if they’ve done something that has brought you to this point. Divorces often happen because of unresolved issues, so if you’re going to repair your relationship you’ll have to sincerely forgive your partner for their mistake(s). Holding grudges, and/or constantly bringing up what your partner did will only create a larger gap between you.

If you’re feeling really stuck, marriage counselors and professionals like ourselves are there to lend a helping hand.
Divorce statistics keep rising, and one of the main reasons is that people are unable to let go of things and focus on the future. If you choose to make it work with your partner, you have to do so wholeheartedly and learn to leave the past in the past. Allowing yourselves to have a clean slate can do wonders for your peace of mind and for your overall happiness in the relationship.

A tool for doing this is taking time to gather your thoughts on the subject and then having one, clear conversation about it with your partner. Tell them what you’re having trouble with, and come up with some solutions. If you want it to be constructive, don’t present it as an attack. Hopefully your partner will be receptive and sincerely make an effort to make up for the wrongdoing and ease your mind. If your partner is able to do this, make sure that you are receptive.

You can also think of it as positive reinforcement. If your partner is making the effort but you are not receptive or you are never satisfied, they could begin to lose faith as well. Successful relationships involve the two partners making each other feel safe and loved. If there isn’t an inviting atmosphere, a person has a much harder time sharing something important to them.

Divorce court and divorce lawyers: Understanding the time and money

If you’ve made your decision and you’re gearing up for divorce, it’s important to know what awaits. The emotional aspect will be substantial, but don’t forget that the legal side can be just as draining – mentally and financially. Divorce can make things ugly very quickly and create huge divides in the family, so when you begin the process, it’s important to keep things respectful and fair.

To illustrate my point, I know a couple that filed for divorce 7 years ago, and the process still is not complete. As if the situation wasn’t hard enough already, I saw something that made me feel sick to my stomach… As this is a very wealthy family, in an attempt to milk the situation for as much money as possible, the lawyer started to create problems and investigate “issues” that weren’t even part of the initial problem. The lawyer is trying to dig up secrets and illegal actions committed by the spouse so that “their client” can get more money. Problem is, the client doesn’t really want more money; they just want this to end. The result is that the divorce is taking on a massive scale where the spouse that it now being investigated is trying to sick their kids on the lawyer’s client. So now the kids are being used as leverage, and it’s just getting completely out of control.

I am not saying that this will happen to you of course, but I want to bring your attention to the importance of hiring a good and respectful lawyer that will actually help you to preserve the integrity of your family; namely if you have children.

It’s also important to note that divorce costs a huge amount of money and can sometimes last for a very long time. Of course some divorces happen relatively painlessly, but in order for that to be the case, both you and your partner must be cordial to one another.

An incredible amount of stress can result from these things so make sure that you do your part to maintain peace. On top of remaining cordial and respectful with your spouse, you must make sure you set some time aside to take care of yourself. Even just a bit of meditation, talking to loved ones, a run, or some physical exercise can help alleviate the stress substantially. People are there to support you so allow them to offer you a shoulder to lean on.

Divorce and children: The lasting effects

I briefly mentioned how children can be emotionally damaged when divorces happen, but I really wanted to take a moment to expand on the importance of remaining aware of how they are experiencing the situation. Oftentimes, when a person finds themselves in the middle of a divorce they become so emotionally overwhelmed that they don’t realize that they still need to remain an example for their children. Children of divorce can suffer long lasting effects if they are not handled with care. Of course there are plenty of instances in which children get through the divorce of their parents relatively unscathed, but it’s up to you to ensure that that happens.

As I said, you are their example so you must protect them. Keep in mind that in their future, your behavior with your spouse can serve as what they see as familiar and normal. If you and your partner are at each other’s throats in front of your children, chances are that in the future they will see this behavior as the norm when it comes to relationships. Perhaps it will be on a much smaller scale, but parents sometimes don’t realize the ramifications of their behavior and how it remains in their children.

Many times when people divorce with children, they end up venting to their kids without realizing the effect it has on them. They can subconsciously (or consciously) turn their kids against their spouse, and break very important bonds. No matter how angry you are with your spouse and with the situation, your children are more important than pride. Venting to your children can give rise to resentment in them towards you and towards your spouse, and it can lead to further separation.

How to stop a divorce: The Dos and Don’ts

Perhaps you have found this article in an attempt to stop your divorce. You know that it’s looming over your heads and you’re looking for a way to undo the damage that’s been done and restore the love and complicity between you and your significant other. As long as you’re willing to make changes and improvements, and practice forgiveness, there is hope for saving your marriage!

Because the situation has already reached such a critical point, it would be ideal to get in contact with us for one on one coaching. We can help you navigate the murky waters of all of these tensions and emotions, and help you reach a place with your partner in which you are once again a team focused on moving forward together. Each situation is completely unique, so personalized guidance ensures that you waste none of your precious time, especially because time is of the essence right now.

To give you a better idea of what needs to start happening, I’ve compiled some of the most important things to do, and some of the most important things to avoid doing at all costs!

The most important things to do when you want to stop the divorce

One of the most important things that need to take place if you want to repair your relationship is forgiveness. I don’t just mean forgiving your partner if they’ve betrayed you or hurt you, I mean you must also forgive yourself. Many people don’t realize that they blame themselves and resent their role in the way things are. Or they assume responsibility for the problem because subconsciously it makes it easier to accept.

If you are the root of the problem, you are also in control of changing things.

They think, “why didn’t I do this, why didn’t I do that… If I had done this differently we wouldn’t be in this situation…” It’s a very natural tendency for humans to come up with explanations for something even if it’s not rational. It helps us to understand, which leads to a form of closure, which in turn helps us to move forward.

Of course forgiving your spouse must take place if you want things to move forward, but it has to happen in unison with self-forgiveness. Look deep inside of yourself and determine whether or not you are experiencing any resentment towards yourself. Finding inner peace will be a crucial part of putting the pieces back together.
A lot of people hold on to grudges and don’t forgive because they don’t want their partner to think that what they did was OK. The truth is that forgiveness is not about that; it’s about allowing yourself to feel emotional freedom.

Moving on to more obvious changes that must take place, here are some of the most important ones:

– Communication: Of course this is the biggest thing that will help divorce stop from looming over your heads, but only when it’s not too late. As you’ve understood, communication is the most important element of fixing a problem. Remaining calm, fostering a safe environment in which both partners feel comfortable enough to share, and not letting things accumulate and take on larger proportions is key. Your partner can’t read your mind and the same thing is true the other way around, so if you don’t communicate, how can you know what needs work and how to fix it?

– Taking care of your personal interests: It is not uncommon for people to lose sight of themselves in a relationship, and when things start to go sour, it’s not uncommon for them to fall into a depression and subsequently make matters worse by making no effort to improve. A simple way to remedy this is by making sure you do things that make you happy and spend time with people you love. Isolating yourself or allowing yourself to become idle make you an easy target for depression.

– Make an action plan: Instead of assuming the role of the victim (even if you really feel that you are,) put your energy into taking matters into your own hands. Stopping a divorce requires serious proactivity and improvement. Identify your flaws and work out solutions and stick to these solutions! Be proud, love yourself and focus on the strong points of your marriage. Don’t hesitate to talk about these assets to your spouse and remind them that not everything is bad. Positivity and focus on the silver linings make an enormous difference.

– Appreciation: Though tensions have been running high these days, take some time to show your spouse that you truly do appreciate them and want things to work. Actions speak louder than words, so don’t hesitate to do something nice for them. It can even be a little thing like making them fresh coffee in the morning before work, or leaving a sweet note for them in their car, and showing gratitude for the things they’ve done. Though you’re upset, don’t like pride rule the situation.

– Put your best foot forward: As I mentioned above, don’t let laziness or depression run you down. Instead, hit the gym and make yourself feel attractive and confident. When you feel good in your own skin, you attract others, and right now we definitely want to pull your spouse back in.

– Believe in being a team: Understand the skills required for functioning relationships. Communication, compromise, making each other feel safe, helping each other reach their full potential, not allowing anger to suffocate your bond, and focusing on the positive so that it may become even more present. Devorce can be avoided when two people see each other as a partner instead of a competitor.

What to AVOID doing if you want to stop a divorce from happening

To make this section very simple, I can tell you that the most important thing to avoid when trying to stop a divorce is anything and everything that resembles an attack. Of course you are able to voice your opinion, especially when you’re not ok with something, but your presentation is paramount. I discussed that in an earlier section of this article, so now I want to bring your attention to the most detrimental behavior you could possibly have in this situation.

When you want to repair a relationship or stop a divorse, avoid any type of threat, blackmail, or revenge. These things are extremely unhealthy in relationships, and their effect is multiplied during such fragile times.

It’s normal for your emotions to be running wild right now, but if you want things to improve you’ll need to keep things under control. Keeping your cool is going to serve you greatly and it’s going to serve as an example for your partner to do the same. Let your partner see your strength and resilience throughout such a challenging period. It’s good for them to see stability and bravery and it will help them to do the same. When you’re both calm, it becomes considerably easier to discuss the game plan.

Similarly, don’t ever shut your partner out. I often see people ignore or avoid each other when they are upset but believe me, nothing good comes from this. It’s a childish reaction and it will do nothing but cause more resentment. Sometimes a person thinks that if they ignore their partner they’ll want to talk to them more, but when an entire marriage is on the line, it’s smarter to engage in calm and collected conversation.

Another important thing to remember is that nothing good comes from suffocating your ex or blowing up their phone. You must let them breathe and they shouldn’t be feeling any pressure from you.

Is it possible to get back your ex after a divorce?

So perhaps you’ve already divorced from your husband or from your wife, but you regret the decision to separate. You miss being together and you wish that things didn’t end the way that they did. Many people come to us asking if it’s too late to get back together with ex husband or their ex wife. They wonder if the damage has been done or if there is still a glimmer of hope.

The answer is yes!

It’s absolutely possible to get back together with your ex even after a divorce. It’s not going to be a piece of cake, but in love everything is possible. The important thing to keep in mind is that change is going to be required. There is a reason why you divorced, so if you go back and have the same exact relationship, you’ll most likely end up in the same situation as today.

There are of course various steps and actions that need to take place, but they will depend on the dynamic between you and the person you love. Don’t panic, help is on the way!

if you’ve already divorced, what do you do if you want your ex back

No matter what the situation is, you have to remain calm, remain in control of your life and of your happiness, and practice patience and perseverance! Your actions will depend on your situation, so below you will find some outlines to help you get started with the process of getting your ex back!

Every situation will require that you do one very important thing: Self Improvement.
We all have flaws, and whether or not the divorce happened because of one of yours, the best possible thing you can do right now is become the best version of yourself because:

1. It is the best way to heal and to restore happiness and peace in your life. Feeling good about yourself increases your self-confidence. Higher self esteem leads to more energy and better connections with people (your ex included!

2. It catches your ex’s attention by reminding them of the person they fell in love with. Throughout the course of your relationship perhaps you lost touch with yourself a bit or maybe even let yourself go. It’s not uncommon for people to switch their focus to the relationship and stop doing the things they were so passionate about. Chances are your partner was very much attracted to your passion as well, so bring it back!

3. Becoming the best version of yourself strikes a range of emotions in your ex. If they see you feeling amazing and living life to the fullest, they could become jealous of those around you and start to wish they were included as well, or they could start to ponder what it would be like to share so much with you. In any case, a seed of doubt becomes planted in their mind!

Marriage and divorce: If your ex is single and you’re on good terms

Remaining on good terms with your ex makes things considerably easier when you want them back!

Whether you’re still friends or you’re just nice to one another, if you want ex husband back or your ex wife back, you’ll have to switch your focus from friendliness to seduction. Being on good terms with an ex spouse is the hardest part, so if that’s already the case for you, your work will be much easier!

Self-improvement plays a big role in this because it directly affects your self confidence, which is needed in order to seduce your ex. If you’re looking for more detailed advice on how to flirt with your ex and attract them back, read this right away!

To paraphrase, very subtle seduction techniques must be used at the beginning. A little bit of tactility and direct eye contact at first… but just enough to make your ex wonder if you’re perhaps interested in them. Make sure you always look your best and wear things you feel confident in. Offer to meet up over coffee and be very warm and inviting. Be careful though; do not every seem desperate or needy, and there is no need to play a role. Wear a genuine smile and talk about the improvements in your life. As time goes on, you can make your flirtation successively more noticeable. Again, you can find detailed guidelines on that in the article I just referenced!

Make sure you do not bring up the breakup and keep your focus on the present and the future. It’s important that your ex sees that you aren’t living in the past.

If your ex is single but you’re not on good terms

The divorce rate has been steadily increasing and sadly so has the amount of separated couples that no longer speak. If you have found yourself in this situation but you still want your ex back, the first thing to do is reestablish respect. If you two had been fighting and attacking one another, your ex may not want to be in contact with you. The smartest thing to do in this situation is to give them some space and time.

You want things to cool down before you come back into the picture. Not only does time help calm things down, it helps both of you put things into perspective. Maybe your ex will not be so mad about something anymore, or perhaps you will realize that you crossed a line. A good way to get back in touch is by writing a letter. It’s the least aggressive way to reach out when tensions had been high. In this letter you can write what you’ve come to realize about the separation (what went wrong, what you regret, and the fact that you care about this person and don’t want there to be such hostility between you.) At this point, don’t talk about wanting to get back together! It’s too early still.

Instead, starting working on creating a comfortable atmosphere and little by little, when you feel that things have calmed down, you can suggest meeting up. For now, make sure you always look your best and share with your ex the improvements you’ve made in your life. Once you two are comfortable again, you can start switching your focus to seducing your ex.

If your ex wife or ex husband is in a new relationship

When your ex is in a new relationship but you want to get back together with them, it’s very important that you don’t drop off the radar. People often dive into rebound relationships after a huge separation, and though it hurts, remember that these types of relationships are rarely long lasting. Your ex is most likely trying to numb the pain of the breakup and has settled for a quick fix. The novelty of a new relationship is a welcome distraction for those suffering from heartache, but the chances of the new partner being the “perfect match” are very low.

The trick is to ensure that there is mutual respect and cordiality between you and your ex. You can try the letter technique, and see them for a coffee sometimes. Little by little you’ll want to plant a seed of doubt in their mind about separating from you. You’ve got to be very subtle though; you don’t want them to pick up on what you’re doing. Talk about the improvements in your life, look amazing, be in a great mood, and after a few meet ups, begin to flirt.

Give your ex sincere compliments, and begin little by little, once you know you’ve got their attention with your flirting, you can begin to introduce the separation into your conversations by telling your ex what you realized went wrong, and what actions could have prevented this outcome. This is a very delicate moment so I highly suggest reaching out to us so we can guide you based on your situation!

Divorce psychology: How to bounce back!

Whether you get back together with your spouse or not, you’ll have to bounce back from the divorce and heal. In fact, it’s crucial that you focus on healing before you begin trying to get back together with your ex! Divorces cause serious pain and stress in a person, and it’s important to take care of yourself, and accept and understand the separation so that you may learn from mistakes in the future.

Following a divorce a person can feel exhausted, embarrassed, angry, defeated, and run down. It’s perfectly normal, but it shouldn’t be allowed to last or to ruin your life. You are the only person in charge of your own happiness and there are ALWAYS two ways to look at a situation. You can start healing this very instant just by deciding to focus on the positive. For example, though it’s hard to believe right now, a divorce can lead to profound joy.

How? Well, if you decide to get back together with your ex in the future, a divorce can serve as a wake up call to fix the issues in the relationship and can lead to a relationship that was even better than before. When you see the improvements you’ve both made as well as your perseverance and motivation to be together again, the bond is strengthened tenfold!

If you don’t get back together with your ex it means that they weren’t the right match for you and now all the doors are open. You are free to find a new partner or to simply just have fun. When the time is right and if you want to, you will meet someone that is perfect for you, and you’ll be happy that you were in a position that made it possible!

After you divorce, focus on rebuilding your self esteem by taking care of your body with healthy eating and exercise, your mind with meditation or yoga, your social circle by hanging out with loved ones, and your prospects by getting ahead at work and by focusing on your hobbies or projects. Fill your time with things that bring you joy, and the rest will fall into place.

 

Sincerely,

Your relationship experts for dealing with divorce
Alex & Christina

I had the pleasure of meeting Lisa Concepcion, a Love Coach in Miami. She helps both men and women find love or to save their relationship. I found out about her thanks to her many unique videos and I was very drawn to her personality. Lisa’s charm and charisma will help you make the best aspects of your personality shine. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, you deserve to have the love life you’ve always dreamed of.

This person can provide you with exactly what you need so don’t hesitate to visit her website by clicking here:

1/ Why do you refer to a marketing approach to love ? What is the main idea or philosophy behind this concept?

Hello Alex and everybody.

My background is in marketing. I have over 20 years experience making brands and people stand out. I saw that when it comes to love people have to continuously value who they are and share their perceived value with someone.

People have to be clear on what makes themselves special and worthy of love. I also noticed that when it comes to dating or meeting people it’s all about marketing yourself. Your opening line, how you’re dressed, how you speak, it’s all sending a message to others just as a brand or product does. You’re selling who you are and what you’re offering.

That’s marketing! Finally communication both verbal and nonverbal is incredibly important to master.

Initially LoveQuest Marketing was focusing on personal branding for love but as I evolved in my own LoveQuest journey I started to study the work of Abraham Hicks who teaches law of attraction. I include the teachings of Abraham Hicks into my workshops. I’m now able to help people understand what their point of attraction is and what message they’re sending out based on what they’re attracting.

2/ What is your main advice for women who want to find love but dont have a lot of time to dedicate to their quest?

That they should focus on what’s wanted instead of what isn’t. Then they should do whatever it takes to be happy. When they are loving themself unconditionally then they’ll attract someone who they can love unconditionally. Mastering unconditional living means not needing something or someone to be a certain way to make you happy. It means your vibe is steady regardless of what reality you may be experiencing. They should also know that their thoughts create their reality. Having a negative perception of men or dating only attracts more negative experiences with men and bad dates.

First get positive and happy. Then focus on the kind of man you want. Then believe he is on his way to you. Then be open to his arrival.

3/ What was your most powerful experience while coaching or in public speaking ? And why ?

I was doing a group session and at the end of it a girl who was quiet and didn’t really participate came up to me and thanked me for sharing my own story. She admitted she too was living a very conditional life and despite saying she was open to love, she admitted she wasn’t loving and kind to herself. She told me she’s changing her game. She quit smoking, stopped drinking alcohol, hired a fitness trainer, dedicated 90 days to her well being and didn’t date at all.

She felt amazing, lost 20 pounds in 3 months, and got a bonus at work which paid for a vacation. She normally would blow it on a handbag or clothes but instead she went to a wellness spa in Arizona, hiked, worked out, slept well, ate well and healed herself inside and out.

She credited the session with me as the inspiration towards finally making her love for herself top priority.

4/ What is the main issue in today’s society when is comes to love and relationships ?

People hold the other person responsible for their happiness which leads to conditional love. When we need conditions to be different for us to be happy, we enter a trap.

5/ What was your main objective when you started this wonderful company ?

I wanted to be the female Tony Robbins of relationships. I wanted to uplift people and turn them onto their own personal power. I also knew my own LoveQuest journey would resonate with others. I figured I can make my message and as I help others, I also learn, heal and grow.

If you want to see more, you can watch this video on my YouTube Channel!

What products can I recommend for man or woman ?

I’m a fan of the 90 Day Post Break Up Detox Workshop. Getting over a breakup of a significant relationship, one that rattled you, is rough. A lot of people look outside of themselves to forget or distract themselves. All that does is recreate the same thing with another person. The 90 Day Post Break Up Detox Workshop calls for a full focus on self love.

I share various tools and journal prompts, guided meditations, other quick audio clips that helped me during my own Post Break Up Detox. I use these tools still to this day and they help me in my primary relationship; the one with myself.

The people who give their all to the workshop emerge transformed. They come away clearer and more focused on attracting exactly what they want.

If you want to take control of your life and to realize how happy you could truly be, don’t wait a second longer before contacting Lisa via her website!

As a French love coach, I can attest to the importance of releasing your inner seductress or Casanova. Lisa is a woman who can help you naturally reach your full potential. You will no longer have to wear a mask or play a role and from now on the most important thing is YOU.

I’d like to conclude this article by thanking Lisa for her time and kindness. There is nothing more amazing than exchanging with other professionals that love this job about woman seduction. You can find her on Facebook

 

Best wishes,
Alex CORMONT.