men left

Relationships are tough. Not only are they tough to initiate and kickstart, but they can also be tough to maintain. Many women I work with have asked me to write an article tailoring to our relationships with men. More specifically, what prompts a man to leave and how can we reel them back in? As women, we can’t help but try to understand the driving forces of men. What makes them tick? Why do men leave and come back? Do men always come back? What men like, want and do they never? Why does a man come back to you? How can you expedite the return?

The questions I’ve listed above are some of the many that women spend heaps of time trying to assess. Why? Well, if we can tune into the needs and desires and mechanics of men and the male psyche, we can also assess how to best manage our relationships with them.

If you’re fresh out of a relationship and trying to lure him back to you, I want to start by expressing my condolences for your current situation and emotional status. I know breakups can hurt like hell, and just because I’m a relationship expert doesn’t mean I haven’t had my fair share of heartache. I’ve been fortunate enough to let my experiences serve as models for my clients, and have utilized many of the methodologies to see and observe their outcomes. I’m happy to say that I’m in a very happy and healthy relationship and can’t wait to help you reach the same goal.

Anyway, let’s get to it and to know how to seduce a man:

“ Why do men leave and come back? ”

It would be foolish to assume that men always come back. However, it would be just as foolish to assume that they never do. The reality is that a lot of the reasons associated with a man’s decision to return to a relationship are in our (women’) control. Much of how we handle the split will determine the likelihood of their return.

If after the breakup, you’ve pleaded, pestered and begged for them to return, it’s likely that it didn’t work. However, just because you did these things, doesn’t mean you’re doomed and you’ll never have the chance to make it work. If you’re still in the begging period, STOP NOW. You can still turn this around the right way. Trust me.

As previously listed, a lot of the reasons behind a man coming back to a relationship actually depend on you and your behaviors during and post breakup or divorce. If you’re asking, “why do men come back?” you’re reading the right article. In order to answer this question, however, we must first identify why he left in the first place. Like way back in Math class, we can’t find the solution without the problem.

The primary reason a man exits a relationship is because he questioned his partner’s ability to make him happy long term. What this means is, he realized something, or perhaps multiple things, that he felt weren’t suitable for him to handle or deal with in the long run or for an extended period of time. When we break up with someone, it is because we feel we’ve thoroughly assessed them as people. We’ve observed their routine, have seen different shades of their personalities, and based on this overall assessment, we’re not confident in sharing a “forever” with this person.

Therefore, in order for our men to come back, we need to let them know that they don’t have us quite as figured out as they had predicted. We need to surprise them, excite them, and show them that we are capable of change and evolution.

Why do men come back and leave after : 4 things to know !

If a man leaves you, he will come back if he feels there’s more to discover. Its this sense of curiosity alone that, if you decide to reach back out later on down the road, will make him receptive to your outreach and give you the chance to re-attract him or kiss him. In short, what makes a man come back is the element of surprise. After all, dating is supposed to be fun, right? It’s supposed to be an adventure that’s full of surprises and excitement.

Here are 4 ways to pull this off:

1. Change is visual: When it comes time to show your ex that you’re still malleable and capable of change and evolution, visual signs ca be great indicators. For instance, try buying a new blouse (as if women need an additional reason to shop!) or hair style. This will let him know that things have changed since the split. It’s little tricks like this that are the reasons why men come back.

2. Change is in your routine: Have you tried new activities since the breakup? Show them on social media. I’m not advising you to overdo is or post 3+ things per day. But, if you recently did something out of the ordinary, maybe picked up a new hobby or did a Groupon Horseback Riding excursion with friends, don’t be afraid to showcase this. Let him know that the routine he felt he knew so well has already been spiced up. Spontaneity is sexy!

3. Change is in attitude: Want to know what makes a man come back? Well, confidence is a really big one. Confidence is an attractive quality, and it shows that you’re still living post breakup. It’s likely that during the breakup, you didn’t exert too much of it. After all, break ups hurt! However, if you start to put that pep in your step now, post breakup, you’ll show your ex you’re happy and excited to be living. He’ll be curious to see what’s making you act this way! (plays on the element of surprise)

4. Change is in acceptance: Coming to terms with the breakup is the last thing your partner will expect so soon. This is a sure sign that you’ve respected their decision and didn’t let it defeat you. If I could stress one things: this tip alone is the largest reason why men leave and come back. However, remember, it’s not as easy as just saying “I’ve accepted it.” You must actually, truly and wholeheartedly accept it. This is the hardest one to follow, but that’s why it’s most affective. If you need help getting to this point and actively applying it, I encourage you to book a coaching session with me and we can work on it together. I’d love to help after an infidelity.

Do men come back all the time : Be careful !

If you follow the tips I’ve listed above to a T, it’s tremendously likely that men always come back (unless you’re hiding specifics from me that I should know about).

However, getting him back isn’t really the tricky part, it’s keeping him again. You need to be careful in that you aren’t just replicating the previous relationship, because you’ll be back and reading this article later on down the road, wondering why your hard work didn’t go into fruition the way you wanted. So, make sure you’re prepared to make solutions to the issues that triggered the breakup in the first place. Don’t give him the ammunition to walk away again.

Whatever you need, please feel free to leave a comment here. I’d love to connect with you.

I wish you and yours the very best always.


Coach Nat.

Alexandre Cormont

The author Alexandre Cormont


  1. My partner left me after 35 years. Living with the women from work. I pleaded for him to come back. Told my son I been wanting him out of the house. The last ten years. So hurtful and untrue. They already took out a marriage license but hasn’t officiated. We ate financially liable for the house and is not contributing which left me no recourse but to hire a lawyer. He said he will always love me. This mean is final to me. He knows I love him more than yesterday and in love with him more. Any chances of him coming back? Yes, have changed myself, have more confidence, healthier and am stronger. Just went through a grieving period after my mother died and brought bad memories when my older son died. Heartbreaking according to doctor.

  2. Hi I’ve been with my ex for 3 years. But before we started dating he was with his ex for 7 years then got into a relationship with me but we broke up not because he doesn’t love me but because he wants to find himself he hasn’t had time for himself before. When we broke up he was crying and yes I have been trying to contact him but he’s ignoring me… my stuff is still at his house and he said this is extremely hard for him. He has not blocked me off anything but only unfriended me off fb. Still have him on whatsapp and instagram. I was an extremely supportive and great girlfriend to him and he’s my best friend. He hasnt got many friends besides me and well his one friend he sees but we haven’t been speaking and this is so hard for me because I waited for him for a year before even dating him. Will he forget about me? As we lived together and I did everything I could to make him happy always. I just miss my best friend so much. We had a great relationship and he did cry alot in front of me. Giving him time to focus on gym because he’s very into fitness and its something I’ve always supported him with. Will he come back in time? I’m just hurting so much. Going from living with him and spending every day with him to this is so difficult . Thank you for your time.

  3. My husband and I have a 4 year old son and 5 month old daughter, he left when my daughter was 3 months old. I am in the process of the no contact rule. Today is day 3. How does no contact work of you have kids?

  4. Hi nat
    I am going through a break up/possible divorce at present due to my husband leaving yet again. Is there any way you can help me get through this please

  5. My partner just walk out of a 31 year relationship to move with another woman , but gave me no reason on why he was moving. He tried his best for me not to find out it was actually because of another woman that he left. I found out a week later. Is there a chance he might come back because of all the hiding and lies he did to prevent me from finding out. His reason for leaving wa because I yelled too much, and when I discovered the other woman all he has to say is we are not with each other anymore. I’m so confused in his actions, is he playing games

  6. I’ve been married for a total of 7 years, but you have to subtract the 3 times he left. The first time was overnight, the second time was 15 months, the third time was exactly one month! When he’s here he’s quiet, serious, not affectionate, romantic, attention or compliment giving at all! But when he leaves, he misses me so much, he loves me, he’s not right without me, he can’t eat, has bad dreams, can’t sleep, shi**** himself bcz of his nerves!! And begs me to forgive him and let him come home! Promises to never leave again! Then leaves AGAIN, rather than talk to me!! When he leaves, I NEVER call or text him! And I’ll get that famous text 3-4 a.m. asking if I’m up! Saying he’s going crazy and he misses his wife! One crying spell after another throughout the convo! Well… He’s back again, left this year on June 21st and came back July 21st! So it’s been almost 3 months! Just wonder when he’ll take off again! I don’t think I’ll ever take him back again! This is repeating bcz I continue to allow him back into my life! Why should I keep trying when our marriage is not important enough for him to stay and talk and try, like I forgive him, and except him back, and try!!??

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