Maintaining a relationship is never easy to do. In truth, living with someone of the opposite sex and making sure that the love never fizzles out isn’t always a piece of cake. That said, the joy you feel is completely worth the efforts you have to make. Nevertheless not everything is always perfect and problems can arise in your relationship.
So did you end up separating and are you devastated that your wife has left you? You wish that you would have done some things differently in order to ensure that she would have stayed by your side? Are you living in the past and regretting decisions and actions that may have caused her to leave? Are you dying to how to get your ex wife back? If you answered yes to any of these questions then this article is for you, andyou have come to the right place.
These days men and women have the tendency to break up very quickly when it’s still possible to save the relationship. A few compromises and sacrifices would have been enough… Way too many people decide to separate after just a few days of disagreement and they don’t give their love story another chance. But when problems have existed for a long time, it is more understandable (and unfortunately more probable) that two people would separate.
That said, it doesn’t mean that you should just cross your arms and let the woman you love walk out the door for good. Asking yourself how can I get my wife back or figuring out how to make her love you again is far from impossible. All you have to do is avoid making mistakes and find pertinent and impactful actions. When you’re faced with this situation, you often feel like you’ll never find love again and you wonder if you should even try to get your wife back.
You start feeling a lot of doubt and emotions can easily take the reigns and control you and your actions. If this is the case, you have to change your attitude as soon as possible, and know that I am here to help guide you. Maybe you hadn’t thought about calling on a love coach to save your relationship… But if you’re wondering how you’re going to be able to succeed in making her come back, you’ll need some help.
You were going to do it alone but the situation is getting out of control and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. We’ve already helped over 15,000 people so if it’s any reassurance, you’re not the first nor the last person to find themselves in this situation! The first step to getting ahead is designing a good strategy, and you’ll learn how to do so in this article on how to get my ex wife back.
Get your ex wife back after a breakup or a big fight? The difference is huge…
Before you can know what strategy to adopt, you have to understand what kind of situation you’re currently in because this will determine what actions you’re going to have to carry out. It’s very important to make the distinction between a big fight and a separation.
If it was “just” a fight, even if the tensions are extremely high and communication has been severed, you still have an advantage even if “I’m leaving you” was said because it was said in the heat of the moment. This changes a great deal of things when it comes to getting ex wife back.
A separation is something very difficult to go through so never threaten your ex with it in hopes of getting a reaction. The consequences are considerable and this would be playing with fire. If your wife is the one that wants to leave, you will have to follow guidelines to the T and reestablish an affinity between you, then attraction and then emotions. There is a very specific plan of action to follow whether you have already separated, or if you are in the middle of a terrible fight.
How to get your ex wife back: Introspection and Focusing on Yourself
Sometimes people focus so much on wanting their ex back that they forget to take a look at themselves and identify what needs to change. It’s not a question of pride; it’s more that the person is so emotionally distraught that they’re just putting all their energy and focus on the fact that they want their wife to come back. The truth is that if you you want to win back your ex wife, you’ll have to ask yourself some honest questions and design solutions that allow you to take charge and change the situation…
Identify the reasons why she decided to leave
The first step in the healing and reconciliation process is to take a long look in the mirror and to be honest with yourself in order to identify why your wife decided to leave you. This is called the “self-reflection period.” It will enable you to come to terms with the separation, as well as identify the aspects of your life that you wish to change in order to become a better person, and a more compelling partner.
The goal here is not to engage in self-pity and feel sorry about your situation. It is just simply a mechanism to enable you to understand the past relationship from your partner’s point of view, as well as identify what changes you need to make in your life to become the person that you truly want to be.
How to get a woman back: Stop living in the past
Once you have completed the first step of our healing process, it is of utmost importance that you stop dwelling on the past. Re-hashing your previous relationship over and over again will not help you with getting an ex back. On the contrary it will only prevent you from taking the necessary steps to look forward and to start rebuild yourself. This realization may actually be the most crucial in the entire recovery process.
Often times people do not let themselves move on and continuously torture themselves. Nothing can be more detrimental to winning back your ex as feeling sorry for yourself and trying to revive a failed relationship. Take our advice for it, once you have identified what went wrong, you simply need to look forward and move on as you start making the necessary changes.
Win your ex back: Step out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself on a daily basis
The best way to stay in the present moment is to focus on the things that you can control. Step 1 has enabled you to identify aspects of your life that you wish to change or improve upon to become a better and more loveable person. The idea here is to convert those elements into measurable goals and to be accountable to them on a daily basis.
For example, let’s say that you have decided to be more social; you could set the goal to engage in a conversation with a total stranger at least once every day for a certain time period (of at least 3 weeks). If you want to be more loving or compassionate; you could set your sights on doing a kind gesture at least once a day, this could be as simple as doing a favor for a friend or holding the door for a colleague at work.
The key element here is to be consistent and to be accountable. Before you know it, you will be living in the present moment, and looking to become a better person on a daily basis instead of focused on your sorrows and living in the past!
Crucial steps for how to get your ex woman back
Of course each relationship is very different and the reasons behind why a woman would chose to leave can vary, and after having coached so many people during their separation I’ve been able to note some common denominators. One of the most common culprits is the dreaded The Routine. This is one of the worst things in a relationship, especially when you take your wife for granted and you neglect her. Even when your relationship is officially over after infidelity, distance, or anything else, you have to know that boredom, bad habits, and routine play a big role in this tough decision.
How to win back my ex wife: Stopping the routine!
If you’re familiar with my philosophy you know that this is why I always insist on working on making changes on a daily basis just after the breakup. It is precisely this type of evolution that will permit you to get back together with your wife.
By adopting a new attitude, you’re going to send a new image to your ex and they will feel more inclined to start something new with you!
When you’re faced with this kind of situation, you have to erase the past and show your ex-partner that you want to forget the relationship you had before so that you can create a new and improved one. Of course you have to do this with tact and not be too direct; otherwise you’ll foil your plan.
As I often say, you have to fly under the radar while trying to get back together with your ex. If she is the one that left you, then she had her reasons and you therefore have to propose something completely different from the past. It goes without saying that you should hold on to the good things, but you should get rid of all the rest…
In order to do this, you can use a very efficient technique that is called radio silence or the no contact rule. This is a key step in your personal reconstruction that will allow you to think about the actions you need to carry out in order to rekindle the flame with your wife and show her that you can be the man of her dreams.
If your goal is to win back your ex-wife and start anew, this step is of paramount importance. I cannot stress enough how crucial it is for you to NOT contact your ex before the time is right.
The mistake that 90 percent of people make in trying to get back with an ex-lover is pleading or begging to be taken back. This will only reinforce the desire of your ex-wife to want space and comfort her in her decision to have left in the first place…
How can I get my wife back by using distance?
I just mentioned one of the most potent techniques for getting your ex back, the no Contact Rule. You are probably wondering what this method of cutting all ties with your ex-wife is doing in this article about communication…
It’s simply because communication doesn’t always have to be verbal.
You don’t need to send her a million text messages to get her back. After having coached thousands of people since 2007, we can share something with you; we have not encountered one person that has gotten back together with their significant other by being overly present! So the more you hover over her, the more she will want to get away from you. It’s mechanical! When getting ex love back, giving her space to breathe is essential.
What’s more, if she comes back to you it has to be her decision. Making her feel forced or pressured will not help the situation…
This is why RS is so great. It keeps you from making any mistakes and being oppressive. You will be able to discretely show that you can live without hovering over your ex.
Maybe you live under the same roof and you’re thinking that making distance between you is impossible. The good news is that there are many different types of RS and all you have to do it adapt it to your personal situation. We’ve written an eBook explaining the different ways you can use Radio Silence, and it even works in situations that you think are hopeless. If you want things to change with your wife, don’t wait any longer before learning more because the clock is ticking. The more time passes, the farther away your wife becomes.
A solid couple is one that can communicate, that knows each other like the back of their hand, and if you want to rekindle your wife’s feelings for you you’re going to have to face the problems you were having and find solutions.
A bonus tip from the coach for how to win back your ex wife!
It’s important to understand that radio silence isn’t going to be the solution to all the issues that could exist in your relationship. I often get messages from men saying, “I’ve cut contact, I’ve blocked her on Facebook, but she’s not coming back!” RS isn’t just cutting communication and not doing anything else! You have to accompany it with precise, pertinent actions that will spark her curiosity so that she feels the desire to get closer again, little by little. You can do this both with physical change as well as with change in your attitude.
Side note: If on the other hand, your relationship is facing a crisis, you haven’t actually broken up yet, and you’re just going through a rough patch, radio silence is NOT the best option.
In fact it could enhance bitterness, and communication is much more useful provided you do it properly. It’s not enough to say, “Honey, let’s sit down and talk about our problems.” This is more likely to get on her nerves, especially if you’ve already had countless conversations about the issues and haven’t fixed anything. Your wife needs more than that so today you’re going to have to get on the same page. You can’t rekindle the flame within just a few days and you’ll have to make a valiant effort if you really want her back in your arms.
Sooner or later, if your wife hasn’t made the first step, you’ll have to set into motion some actions that will end your radio silence, or you’ll have to make her notice that you’ve understood her. This can be direct or indirect but she will need a pretty strong sign. A handwritten letter is one of the best techniques when you want to know how to get your ex wife back, and you can use it to communicate to her how you feel, that you’ve understood the reasons behind the breakup, and to tell her what you can provide her with some here on out.
Understand that if you are asking yourself how can I get my wife back, the answer is not just about being forgiven or showering her with extravagant gifts. It’s about providing solutions to the problems and you’ll be able to do this in the letter you write to her.
But be careful… After having suggested them, it’s imperative that you prove to your wife that you’re able to make the necessary efforts on for the long run! Empty words are more detrimental than you might think; especially in such a fragile period.
Seize the moment, it IS possible to get your ex-wife back!
If you follow these steps and listen to our tips, the dream to win back your ex will come. Once this occasion presents itself, it is crucial that you truly change, because your ex-wife will be able to tell if you are merely pretending or playing a role to try and impress her!
In order to ensure that it is the case, after a separation you must quickly analyze what changes you wish to make in your life, stop living in the past, and challenge yourself on a daily basis while staying accountable to your new objectives.
This process will enable your ex-wife to envision a new relationship and project a future where she can be feel happy and fulfilled by your side for you will have become a new man.
The key to recovering a lost love and to winning her back is not merely salvaging a broken relationship, but creating a new one, independent from the negativity of your previous love story!
Your love coach, here to help you get your ex wife back
Alex Cormont & Christina